Stúdentablaðið - 01.02.2001, Blaðsíða 31

„So how do you like the Icelanders?“ Terry
Gunnell, head of the Folkloristic Depart-
ment at the University of Iceland, is looking
at us with curiosity. We, a class of foreign
students, have becn learning about Iceland-
ic folk culture for several months, and now,
in the last lesson of fall terrn 2000, our
teacher is determined to finish the course
with an overall summary. How do I like the
Icelanders, I repeat in my head, while
people around me point out that they like
the Icelanders a lot for various reasons. But
I kept calm because, being honest to myself,
I impulsively had to admit: No, I did not
like the Icelanders.
This was a month ago, and now I have
just returned to Iccland after spending
Christmas with my family in Germany. I am
very surprised about how happy I am to be
back. Returning to Reykjavík caused a great
niany more positive feelings than going
home, although I love my family very much
and do not have any kind of problems at
home. After spending one day sirnply enjoy-
ing walking in familiar streets, visiting famil-
iar places, and being pleased by seeing
familiar faces, I started thinking about my
attitude towards Iceland and its inhabitants
again: What is there behind this tremendous
change?
First of all, I definitely do not like the uni-
versal expression ‘the Icelanders’. Who are
‘the Icelanders’? I have mct Oli and Áslaug
and Palli, but I never met ‘the Icelanders’,
so how can I have an attitude towards
thcm? If somebody asked rne if I liked ‘the
Germans’ my answer would be negative as
well. That might have something to do with
the fact that I am afraid of masses of people,
and therefore I rather avoid dealing with
collcctives. But, instead of spending my
time with ‘the Icclanders’, I have come
across a lot of interesting individuals, in a
positive as well as in a negative way.
Reserved - the people on the street
„Góðan daginn, talarðu ensku?“ As soon as
I reveal my forcign descent, people seem to
pause for a second and take a step back -
inwardly - and after that I am treated with
a higher degree of attention. I guess that
there is nothing special about this, probably
this is just the way I myself behave when I
unexpectedly mcet a foreigner in Germany.
But it was not always easy at first to deal
with people’s reserved reactions. Especially
at the beginning I did not know what to
make of the way people seemed to be alar-
med and watchful. Therefore I myself
became alarmed and watchful and the
whole situation ended up being depressing.
Luckily, I got used to these reserved react-
ions, and now I know that there is no rea-
son to be unsettled.
There was onc short cncounter that
helped immensely to change my attitude for
the better: When I stood by the seaside one
morning and watched thc moon sink into
the ocean, a man taking a walk along the
coast stopped and started talking to me. He
was also reserved in a way, but at the same
time he showed a lot of sympathy for me,
the foreigner. I realised: Peoplc are not
necessarily alarmed at foreigners: Most of
the time they simply show a polite
diffidence. Now I have started to feel very
comfortable when I am treated in this fri-
endly reserved way. If I meet the man aga-
in, I will take his hand and shake it with
gratitude. He might not know it, but he
helped me a lot by putting Icelandic
behaviour in perspective.
Nightlife in Reykjavík - overstrained by
the overkill
Going out on weekend evenings was a far
more difficult chapter. When I saw younger
and older people consuming gallons of
alcohol and freaking out I had difficulties
believing that these were the same people I
saw calmly going their ways on weekdays. I
was told about it before, but experiencing it
turned out to be something totally differ-
ent.
Onc night I stood in a queue to receive
my jacket back. When a young man found
out that I did not speak Icelandic hc queu-
ed up in front of me instead of behind me.
When I politely informed him that I had al-
ready been waiting for my turn before he
came, he - less politely - informed rne that
this was his country and that I had no right
to be here at all. I was more astonished th-
an angry about this. I have heard about sim-
ilar behaviour towards foreigners in
Germany. So it might have been good for
me to have such an experience since there
are so many people from abroad in rny own
homecountry. Finally, I am sure that it was
the alcohol that made this young man talk
and act like that, and he certainly would not
have been as direct and impolitc if I had met
him in sober condition on a weekday.
Another change caused by alcohol is the
way that people of one sex treat people of
the other sex, or, to express the problem
rnore clearly, the way that men treat mc. In
the beginning I found it amazing how easy
it is in Iceland to catch someone’s eye, but
quickly, I found out about the background
for this: Men do not start talking to me
because thcy think that I am remarkably
nice or smart or pretty or interesting in any
other way. Thcy talk to me sirnply because
of the fact that I arn female. And if I
vigorously rentove a guy’s hand from rny
backside he starts talking to the girl next to
me, no matter if she is tall or sniall, blond or
dark-haired, thin or fat, pretty or ugly. A
few of these disillusioning situations were
enough to cure rne from my desire to go
out. At least for a long time. But I am alrea-
dy thinking about trying it out again, ev-
erything can be different on a new evening.
Making fríends - hard but hearty
Against all tliese odds I made friends with
an Icelandic student I met at a party. I like
him a lot, but it is stíll sometimes difficult
for nte to interpret his behaviour.
On the one hand he is always there when
I need help of any kind, no matter if it is
about giving me a lift sontewhere, helping
me with Icelandic homework or repairing a
video recorder. Moreover, he is a wonderful
conversational partner: He has the habit of
listening to and responding carefiilly to
what other people say, and from what he
says I can see that he has thought things
over. Talking to him is not only pleasing,
but also very informative concerning the
particularities of Icelandic culture. When I
was puzzled by certain situations he would
explain them to me and help me understand
a little more clearly.
But on the other hand he himself puzzles
me from tíme to time. Of course wc also
talk about that. The only pity is that a tiny
remnant of uncertainty seems to remain.
Communication can rnake cultural differ-
ences clear in a rational way, but to accept
the differences emotíonally takes much lon-
ger.
Cuitural differences - always present, but
easily ignored
Which brings me to a general problem that
I started to observe rather late. When I first
came to Iceland I was almost a bit
disappointed: I expected something very
different from what I was used to, but life in
Reykjavík turned out to be so similar to life
in my own hometown Bielefeld. Since I had
the impression tliat everything was the sarne
I often stumbled over small differences wit-
hout observing them immediately. Again
and again, this led to misunderstandings.
A good example is the Icelandic question-
ing sound ‘Ha?!’. If one’s ears are used to
the German sentcnce melody this is thc
sound of ultímate unfriendliness, of being
strained and stressed. I was offended by
people saying ‘Ha!’ to me on scveral
occasions; to my naive way of thinking they
had absolutely no reason to talk to me like
that. Of course, I eventually found out that
there is nothing wrong with it and I am not
offended anymore; nowadays ‘Ha?!’ even
belongs to my own vocabulary by now. This
is just a very simple example of a
complicated problcm: Who knows how
many other small differences I do not know
about may lead to misunderstandings? I do
not know, but I am willing to find out.
The outlook: determined to experíence
more, more, more
I have had some bad experiences and so
many experiences during the first half of rny
stay in Iceland; I have made a lot of mista-
kes and learned a lot from them. The most
important rcalizatíon is that cultural differ-
ences can be understood on a rational level
immediatly, but it takes a while until the *
emotional perceptíon is used to them.
Wlien Terry asked his question about the
Icelanders all impressions wcre still so fresh
and I was too involved in this struggle of
misunderstandings and uncertainties. But
now, after going home over Christmas and
being able to see things clearer from a
distant perspective, the picture became
much less distorted by immediate complex-
ity. And when I came back I did not only
realise how much I had already lcarned
about life in Reykjavík, but also how much
I had adapted to it. For the first tíme I had
the feeling tliat I could seamlessly fit into
this culture. It was a true feeling of return-
ing to something I could now call home, **
and I am stili overwhelmcd by these
extreme positive impressions I get from my
surroundings.
I know that there is still so very rnuch
more I have to learn about Iceland, I know
that thcre will be other complicated situ-
ations, I know that there might even be
moments when I will feel bad about being
in this country. But I want to engage with
Icelandic culture, and - who knows? -
maybe one day I will be familiar or even
chummy with ‘the Icelanders’. This is just
the starting point, and I am looking
forward to every experience that is to come.
Kendra Stokkamp
stúdentablaðið - febrúar ‘01 31