Reykjavík Grapevine - 04.08.2008, Side 22

22 | REYKJAVÍK GRAPEVINE | ISSUE 10—2008
we bring the o to sush
O s u s h i L æ k j a r g a t a 2 a Og B o r g a r t ú n 2 9 I S í m i : 5 6 1 0 5 6 2
Akureyri
Vík
Egilsstaðir
Selfoss
Hveragerði
Hafnarfjörður
Neskaupstaður
Grundarfjörður
Stykkishólmur
Súðavík
Ísafjörður
Akranes
Njarðvík
Sandgerði
Hreðavatnsskáli
Reykjavík
You save at the pink stationsAkureyri, Egilsstaðir, Selfoss,
Hveragerði, Reykjavík,
Akranes, Hafnarfjörður,
Njarðvík, Sandgerði,
Kópavogur, Neskaupstaður,
Grundarfjörður,
Stykkishólmur, Súðavík,
Ísafjörður, Vík í Mýrdal
and Hreðavatnsskáli have
more than just stunning
nature and beautiful
people in common!
D
Y
N
A
M
O
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E
Y
K
JA
V
IK
The Orkan network is growing steadily, offering more savings
throughout Iceland. Keep an eye out for the Orkan petrol stations and
take advantage of our lower prices.
www.orkan.is
ICELAND SURvIvAL GUIDE
As seemingly amusing as it may be that people
would need rescuing from a catastrophe taking
place only in their minds, that is sometimes the
case. When you think about it a recession is not
a “real” problem like a flood or an earthquake
or a ravenous polar bear ravaging the Icelandic
countryside. It’s simply an idea, an idea that the
real gross domestic product is declining and yet
it has the power to destroy lives. Unless you’re a
stock-broker or investment-banker or somebody
else whose profession is not to create something
of any value but rather just move around other
people’s accumulated value, a recession will not
immediately seem like a big deal. Not until the fat
cats who caused the recession with their inces-
sant scheming “have to” raise the prices without
raising your wages. But with these helpful tips
you’ll be able to turn the economic crash into an
economic dive... into a bed of fluffy flowers.
ONE Walk. A car costs money, gasoline costs
money and gym membership costs money. By
walking you can cut all these cost factors out of
the equation. You can also lower the cost and
still get around quickly and in style by buying a
bicycle or skateboard.
TWO Cook your own food. You only have to pay
for the ingredients and you develop your culinary
skills in the process. A win-win situation.
THREE Stop drinking. Alcohol costs far too much
in Iceland and is, in practical terms, a complete
waste of money. The government which uses the
nation’s taxes to save the banks which have been
robbing Icelanders dry also profit from keeping
you at the bottom of the bottle by taxing alcohol
heavily. If however you can’t bring yourself to stop
drinking, there is always the possibility of brewing
you own batch which I, however, would of course
never advise due to legal restrictions.
FOUR Have sex. Sex is a truly amazing thing. No
matter how often you do it, it never gets old. A con-
dom also costs approximately 100 ISK but a trip to
the cinema costs 1.000 ISK. You do the math.
FIvE Don’t have children. Other than being dirty,
noisy and obnoxious, children are also surprising-
ly expensive. Sending your children to sweatshops
to work for you is also illegal so that pretty much
means that the chances of you making money off
your kids is slim to none, unless your children are
the Jackson 5 that is.
SIx Stay away from politics. There is no time
more dangerous for politicians than when their
country is doing badly. Not that people are ever
happy with their government but it just increases
the risk of bad things happening to you if you have
a whole country of people holding you account-
able for everything wrong with their lives.
So go out and smile mischievously to your-
self as you bicycle care-free past everyone having
a sissy-fit about negative real economic growth.
After all, it’s all in their heads.
How to Survive
a Recession
By oddur SturluSon
THEN & NOW pHotoS By jenS alexanderSSon & gaS
some things never change
2007
1977