Reykjavík Grapevine - 01.03.2013, Blaðsíða 4

Dear,
I am barrister Ben John personal attorney to
Mr.Patrick Winn, a citizen of your country,
who used to work with Shell Development
Company in Lome Togo. Here in after shall
be known as my client. On April 21, 2000
my client his wife and his only daughter
were involved in a car accident along Nou-
vissi Express Road. All passengers of the
vehicle unfortunately lost there lives.
Since then I have made several inqui-
ries to your embassy here to locate any of
my clients extended relatives this has also
proved unsuccessful.
After these several unsuccessful at-
tempts I decided to track his last name on
the Internet to locate any member of his
family hence I contacted you. I have con-
tacted you to assist in repartrating Fund in
the amount of USD 15,2 million left my cli-
ent before it gets confisicated or declared
unfit for togolaise-Union Bank (UTB)
where this huge amount was deposited! He
said the bank has issued me a notice to pro-
vide the next of kin or have his account con-
fisicated within twenty one official working
days.
Since I was unsuccessful in locating the
relatives for over 2years now,I seek the con-
sent to present you as next of kin, so that the
proceeds of this account can be paid to you
and we use it for investment in your country.
I have all the necessary information and
legal documents needed to back you up for
claim. All I require from you is your honest
cooperation to enable us see this transaction
through.
I guarantee that this will be executed
under a legitimate arrangement that will
protect you from any breach of the law.
With best wishes.
Attorney Ben John
Dear Attorney Ben John (if that is your
real name),
The son of a Nigerian prince called and
he wants his 419 scam back. Who do you
think you’re dealing with here, a bunch
of amateurs? Did you really think you
could pull a fast one on us? Well think
again, punk! We don’t get taken in so
easily by money-grubbing scumbags like
yourself. We know your type – flashy,
always making the scene with your good
time buddies. But when you mess with
the Grapevine, you mess with the wrong
free newspaper, buster!
ZERO POINTS FOR ICELAND
An Open Letter about the Icelandic Eu-
roision Preselection
Sometimes it might be quite nice
to have a different view on things from
abroad and here are some thoughts from
far away Austria on Icelandic Eurovision
which could hopefully start a debate.
First of all I have to make a big state-
ment: Yes - I really love Iceland! Iceland
is one of my most loved countries in the
world. It has amazing countryside, spec-
tacular nature, liberal and warmhearted
people, fantastic arts... A reason why I
have visited this wonderful country sev-
eral times and I read everything I can get
about it.
But there is one thing I really can't un-
derstand: Your Eurovision Preselection.
I'm sorry to say that but I really
haven't seen such a boring and uninspired
event.
Yes, I know legendary Páll Oskar and
Sylvia Night. Two groundbreaking per-
formances and artists which ESC fans on
the continent still remember so well and
which are always broadcast in compila-
tion tv shows here. Funny, fresh, innova-
tive!
But what has happend in the last years
and especially this year? Who has chosen
all those songs? Where is the entertain-
ment? Where is variety? Where is inno-
vation? Where are new artists?
What I can see is just an old fashioned
folk-pop festival. Most of the songs and
the singers just seem like clones. All fe-
male singers are sweet, middleaged and
- average. Men are all of the type soft-
rocker. And that's it. Nothing edgy, dif-
ferent, something to discuss, no spectacu-
lar shows, no scandal. Just songs which
are well made but in a strange way seem
to be all just the same. Absolutely no one
with the potential to become a Eurovision
icon!
Really sad because I always have the
impression that Icelandic music is really
colourful and just more than old fash-
ioned folk pop!
Where is Friðrik Dór, FM Belfast,
Dikta, Blár Ópal or ÁSA. Rand&Band.
Her song „saetir kossar“ has even in Ice-
landic language become a hit.
And this is another thing I really don't
understand: The Icelandic language is re-
ally beautiful but why have all the songs
first be in Icelandic and then when they
go to the big stage they are translated in
English – like all the other songs. To me
this seems a really weired system. I'm so
sure that people on the continent adore
Icelandic language – like „saetir kossar“.
These are just some thoughts I had to
write down and maybe it's just something
to think about a bit.
Hopefully my wonderful Iceland next
year will have a Eurovision Preselection
as colourful, edgy, innovative and great
like the country is!!! and then again it will
be 12 points from Austria!
Julia
Dear Julia,
How endearing that you are so passion-
ate about our participation in Eurovi-
sion! Maybe the reason we never won
before is because no one cared enough,
had the respect or the decency to tell us
the truth. It’s like when you’re a teen-
ager and you’re dating someone really
awful and none of your friends tell you
about it and then finally you make a re-
ally awesome friend and they give you
a reality check. And boy do we need a
Eurovision reality check!
Or wait. Doesn’t Eurovision need a
reality check? Aren’t the contestants
from every country just pure crap?
Even the ones that are marginally
good, which honestly are few and far
between, are still generally considered
pure crap. Engelbert Humperdinck
and Céline Dion being exceptions, of
course. In any case, we like this letter
and we think Eurovision is very funny
(see Rebecca Louder’s opinion piece
‘Be A Cow’ on our website: http://
grapevine.is/Home/ReadArticle/Be-
A-Cow). Have a present to ease your
Eurovision pain!
Say your piece, voice your opinion, send
your letters to: letters@grapevine.is
Sour grapes & stuff
MOST AWESOME LETTER OF THE ISSUE
YOUR PRIZE FOR THAT MOST AWESOME LETTER OF YOURS IS:
TWO FREE MEALS AT THE ICELANDIC HAMBURGER FACTORY
Dear reader. We love you very much, especially those of you that write us letters all the time.
In fact we love you so much that we keep trying to reward you somehow for writing us those
letters. They entertain us, and they keep us informed of what our readers think. That is a
pretty great deal. Now. Whoever wrote this issue’s MOST AWESOME LETTER gets a prize.
And it’s a pretty great one. Yes, not one but TWO delicious hamburger-style meals at the
wondrous ICELANDIC HAMBURGER FACTORY, which is an Icelandic themed restaurant that
specializes in huuuuuge and mouth-watering burgers to fit every occasion (we recommend
the lamburger, unless you are a vegetarian. Lamb is not a vegetable). And if you for some
reason didn’t write this issue’s MOST AWESOME LETTER don’t panic. Their tasty burgers
aren’t that expensive, and you can always try for a MOST AWESOME letter later.
Just write us at letters@grapevine.is

At the seashore the giant lobster makes
appointments with mermaids and landlubbers.
He waves his large claws, attracting those desiring
to be in the company of starfish and lumpfish.
> Only 45 minutes drive from Reykjavík
Eyrarbraut 3, 825 Stokkseyri, Iceland · Tel. +354 483 1550
Fax. +354 483 1545 · info@fjorubordid.is · www.fjorubordid.is
by the sea
and a delicious lobster
at Fjörubordid in Stokkseyri
Reykjavík
Stokkseyri
Eyrarbakki - The Seashore restaurant
Sp
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hf
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The Reykjavík Grapevine Issue 3 — 2013 4