Reykjavík Grapevine - 07.03.2008, Qupperneq 8

08 | Reykjavík Grapevine | Issue 03 2008 | Opinion
I’ve often wondered how self-proclaimed 101-ers
would survive outside Reykjavík, where stiletto
heels and converse sneakers would leave toes
frostbitten. It really is as if Reykjavík is its own ar-
tistic enclave of a country, where Mt. Esja inspires
admiration of Mother Nature but no real interac-
tion. City dwellers would rather write songs about
it than actually set out to explore the dramatic
landscape. Let me begin by stating the obvious,
that this is a generalisation, but in many of my
interactions with Icelanders living in Reykjavík
I’ve found that they have only a very basic knowl-
edge of the wild and turbulent landscape that sur-
rounds them.
On asking several Icelanders what their
favourite part of the country was, the responses
varied from Þingvellir to Ásbyrgi. However, asked
when they had last visited their cherished site, all
replied the same: “I was a young kid. My parents
took me.” I was really shocked at the oblivion
to which vast natural treasures were relegated.
Mountains became faded memories with creeping
spider webs. The distances are relatively short for
one to be able to escape the hustle and bustle of
the rúntur and the every day routine. But it seems
as though no one is interested in escaping. These
creatures of comfort would rather drive their car
down Laugavegur all weekend.
Once when I invited some Reykjavík friends
to the nearby town of Hveragerði for a day trip,
they were warned there was a hike involved but
that their efforts would be rewarded with a dip in
a hot river that sinuously seduced the fumarole-
ridden landscape. When I went to pick up my
friends they were wearing rather club-inspired
attire and - I kid you not - fancy “these better not
get any mud on them” boots. I wondered whether
they had ever been hiking before. I kindly men-
tioned that their expensive shoes would lose their
spunkiness after an hour’s hike. We actually had
to go buy shoes because my partying pals didn’t
have a single pair that would withstand dirt or any
form of exercise. I began second guessing myself
about the trip until we finally arrived at our desti-
nation and these rúntur obsessed people seemed
like children let out in the wild for the first time. It
was great to see the deep joy they felt at being re-
introduced to their free spirits. Grass-stains were
quickly forgotten and even encouraged.
I know it is really easy to develop a routine
and hard to let go and live life to the full. It hap-
pens to all of us. So I suggest a trick: behave like a
tourist. Create in your mind the ability to think like
a foreigner and explore your own backyard. It isn’t
necessary to always go to Sweden or Denmark to
have a holiday. Internal tourism allows for an ex-
ploration of one’s culture and roots while being
reminded of the trivialities that thrive in the city
(such as those really expensive neon pink jeans
you were eyeing). I practice this myself when I am
in my country. I purposefully travel everywhere as
much as I can. When I lived in Puerto Rico full-
time I tried to leave the capital every other week
whenever possible. I would purposefully throw
my comfort zone out the window and spontane-
ously get in the car and just go. And yes, I know
Reykjavík is wicked and there are galleries, con-
certs, and the same bars with the same people,
but I think it is a necessary dose of energy that
rejuvenates and connects you with yourself and
your country.
The other day I was talking to one of my
friends who I’d kidnapped from his beloved couch
and he proudly showed me all these spectacular
pictures of Iceland. He thanked me and told me
he knows he thinks like a tourist and loves looking
at himself and Iceland at a distance as an outsider
looking in. I think I might convert these creatures
of comfort one at a time. It’s a great excuse for me
to discover more nooks and crannies of the dis-
turbingly beautiful Icelandic countryside.
When I was 9 years old my mother put me in jail.
She did it after my brothers and sisters and I tried
our luck at the five finger discount. She came
home, told us to get in the car, drove straight to
the La Palma Police Station and told us to wait for
her as she talked to an officer. Ten minutes later
all four of us, my older brother and two sisters and
I, were locked in a cell with an exposed toilet and
a dirty cot. My mother sternly said, “If you contin-
ue to live like a thief, this is where you’ll end up.”
She then turned around and left, returning thirty
minutes later to four traumatised, yet enlightened
children. That was the first and last time I ever
stole anything in my life.
I share that story not to indict my parents
with charges of cruel and unusual punishment,
but rather to show how serious they were about
teaching their children a very crucial lesson in
life. As a mother and teacher I constantly observe
the behaviour of children around me. While living
here and experiencing the behaviour of Icelandic
children on a daily basis, I see that the respectful
fear that was so unforgettably instilled in my mind
is lacking. It also disappoints me to see such a
deficiency of etiquette and politeness in the way
they interact with each other as well as with au-
thority figures. Which leads me to question: what
is the reason behind the lack of discipline and eti-
quette of so many Icelandic children?
The biggest clue I got into answering this
complicated question was given to me straight
from the horse’s mouth. Last week my students
had to give oral presentations on their family
structures. As the students shared information
on what kinds of things their families could do to
improve, about 60% of them said that they wished
their parents didn’t work as much and were at
home more often. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist
to figure out that in order to raise your child with
examples of positive behaviour and courtesy you
have to be present in their lives enough for them
to see it. One of the most famous verses from the
Bible on child-rearing is Proverbs 13:24: “He who
spares the rod hates his child, but he who loves
him is diligent to discipline him.” What makes this
verse so simple and true is that it reaffirms that
loving your child involves the act of teaching them
how to behave and treat other people in a consis-
tent manner. Although other factors such as peer
pressure, TV, music and video games, can easily
add to the lack of discipline among Icelandic chil-
dren, I do believe that the absence of the parental
figures in the home is the biggest contributing fac-
tor to this collective problem.
Since the Columbine High School shootings
in 1999, the media revels in sensationalising the
violent and unpredictable behaviour of American
school children. However, it’s usually a few “bad
seeds” that are at the centre of all the controversy.
When I taught in Brooklyn, New York, for three
years I definitely experienced the “bad seed” be-
haviour, but the majority of my students showed
respect for teachers and other authority figures
around them. Most kids understand their purpose
in attending and excelling in school because the
American culture associates this with success
and power. When I arrived at my classroom door
every morning, my students would line up before I
opened my mouth. They knew that they couldn’t
enter the classroom unless it was done quietly
and in an orderly manner. These were routines
that weren’t foreign to them. They had done this
since kindergarten. There was a legacy of school
behaviours that I didn’t have to teach and I appre-
ciated that.
In my experience I can honestly say that I
was surprised certain school behaviours were
not already in place when I started teaching here.
Students would often put their feet on their desks,
would come into the classroom talking loudly and
would constantly have to be reminded of their
roles as students. I oftentimes get the question,
“Why?” and immediately think, “Do you know
who you’re talking to?” The interesting thing is
that this behaviour is a silent type of rebellion. It’s
not always loud and obnoxious, but more stub-
born and uncooperative. Although this type of
dissonance mixed with an absence of basic man-
ners does not always make for a very enjoyable
learning environment, I have to think to myself, if
it really does take a village to raise a child, then let
me be the first to do my part.

Creatures of Comfort
Sparing the Rod
Gabrielle Guðbjartsson moved to Iceland from
Brooklyn, New York. She works as a teacher and
plans to do her part to make sure Icelandic
children receive proper upbringing.
Marie-Alexandra Hertell hails from Puerto Rico. She
is fond of Icelandic nature.