Reykjavík Grapevine - 16.08.2013, Qupperneq 8

Continues over
Since 1991 there have been world champi-
onships of the Icelandic horse. In case that
sentence makes absolutely no sense, and I
should explain that there is a breed of horse
that originated in Iceland. And that there is
a worldwide association, called FEIF that,
among other things, keeps track of breed-
ing standards, does outreach and organises
competitions, including a biannual world
championship. And 1991 was a year in the
last century so long ago that U2 was still
relevant.
Hey, lay off U2, Bono's such
a good man that it's in his
name, and The Edge will cut
you.
Coincidentally or not, in 1991, U2 recorded
‘Achtung Baby’ in Berlin, and this year the
Icelandic Horse World Championships are
also in Berlin. That location makes a certain
amount of sense. This breed has a certain
hipster cachet. It has five gaits, one more
than most horses, including an ambling
one called tölt, which is found only in a few
other breeds, such as northern Norwegian
breeds and Mongolian horses. It also grows
a hipster-y beard, and has released a split
seven-inch vinyl single with The Knife.
Oh pish, the hippest horse is a
horse you've never heard of.
FEIF has been doing its best to make people
aware of the Icelandic horse and its world
championship. The opening ceremony in-
volved four hundred horses being ridden to
the Brandenburg Gate in Berlin, with one of
the riders being Dorrit Moussaieff, the first
lady of Iceland. The association has done its
best to drum up interest in the week-long
event, which has the slogan "One World,
Five Gaits."
We get to carry each other,
carry each other...
That is not even in the right place in the song!
Also, please refrain from getting U2 songs
stuck in my head. The Icelandic Equestrian
Association sent a team of horses and riders
to compete, and by all accounts they have
done very well, coming first in many events,
both in riding competitions and breeding
contests.
So do the horses return in
triumph to Iceland?
No. Once an Icelandic horse leaves the
country it is never allowed to return. Due
to Iceland's geographic isolation on the far
northern edge of the North Atlantic, the
country's equine population has not been
exposed to many common diseases, such as
horse influenza, equine herpes and stran-
gles. And because you would not wish a dis-
ease with the horrifying name of strangles
on your worst enemy, you definitely do not
want your beloved horse to contract it, let
alone an island full of them. So once a horse
leaves the country, it cannot return.
In my mind's eye I see Icelan-
dic horses standing on a hill,
staring back home to Iceland,
with sadness in their eyes,
love in their heart, eating a
carrot.
As far as anyone can tell, horses generally
have no opinion in which country they exist.
They want food, shelter and companionship
from other horses, and the opportunity to
run about. Icelandic horses do not even seem
to mind if the other equines in the vicinity
are abnormally large.
I wasn't going to bring this
up but, uh... aren't Icelandic
horses really ponies?
No. I mean, technically yes, but emotionally
no. Though most Icelandic horses are small-
er than the height usually thought to connote
a pony, traditionally they have been referred
to as horses. This goes for other breeds as
well. Mongolian horses are about the same
size as Icelandic ones, but you would not
call Genghis Khan's horse a pretty pony. Not
twice, anyway. So the proper way to refer to
an Icelandic horse, for instance if you would
like to alert your travelling companions to
its presence, is to point with an out-stretched
hand and shout: "Majestic horse!" Try it out,
it feels pretty good.
MAJESTIC HORSE! You're
right, that does feel good.
Icelandic horses are one of the draws for
tourists in Iceland. For a while now the Ice-
landic horse population outside of the coun-
try, around a hundred thousand, half being
in Germany, exceeds the total horse popu-
lation of Iceland, which is around eighty
thousand. So there are a lot of people out
there in the world who like Icelandic horses.
Many of them travel to this isolated island
on the far northern edge of the North Atlan-
tic, point at visible equines and alert their
companions with a hearty: "Majestic horse!"
They are hip enough to not say pony.
So What's This Icelandic Horse
Competition I've Been Hearing About?
by Kári Tulinius
Iceland | FAQ
Once an Icelan-
dic horse leaves
the country it is
never allowed to
return.
“
„
Illustration: Lóa Hjálmtýsdóttir
Word on the street is, Jesus was
probably gay. And it's Reykjavík
Mayor Jón Gnarr's word, so it's
probably true. At a conference
in Belgium in connection with
the World Outgames, Jón gave a
speech on international human
rights, emphasising the responsibil-
ity of the politician to ensure equal
rights. In the process, he scorned
religions which condemn individu-
als for their sexuality, quipping that
perhaps the reason Jesus was cruci-
fied was because he may have been
gay himself.
Somebody ought to alert Frank-
lin Graham, a notorious anti-gay
preacher who is coming to give a
speech at a festival in Iceland in
September. The national church
started promoting the festival the
same week Pride was being held.
That raised a pretty interesting con-
flict of interest.
It’s kind of like the opening of a
"champagne club" at Stígamót,
the sexual assault crisis centre in
Reykjavík. On Thursday August
15, Stígamót opened its all-sexes
Champagne Club which included
private shows, free-flowing cham-
pagne, the reciting of traditional
Icelandic rhymes, a demonstration
on how to knit a wool poncho in ten
minutes, and short talks on the his-
tory and importance of Stígamót for
just 20,000 ISK. All of your tradition-
al champagne club services, with a
couple "added bonuses." The club
will serve both as a fundraiser for
the centre and as a proper demon-
stration of ironic Icelandic humour.
Maybe it was that same sense of
humour that financial journalist
Cyrus Sanati was trying to tap into
when he declared that Iceland was
well on its way to another financial
meltdown. Except he forgot to add
the quintessential "djók" at the end
of the statement, so nobody found it
very funny. In his article for Fortune
magazine, Sanati states that the
measures employed by the Icelan-
dic banks and government follow-
ing the crash were only temporary
solutions, and the supports current-
ly steadying the Icelandic economy
are beginning to crumble.
Now before you go running outside
for that nervous cigarette, you may
want to think about how much it
NEWS IN BRIEF
AUGUST
8The Reykjavík Grapevine Issue 12 — 2013
by Parker Yamasaki
Conductor
Kirill Karabits
Pianist
Khatia Buniatishvili
Seven countries
one united sound
Tickets available at harpa.is
Works by Prokofiev and Bartók
Concert in Harpa, the new concert hall in Iceland
August 29, at 19:30