Reykjavík Grapevine - 09.01.2015, Blaðsíða 10

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Language • Culture • History
Food and fun
10
The Reykjavík Grapevine
Issue 1 — 2015
Iceland | For Dummies
In a better, more entertaining world than ours, the Order of the Falcon would be Iceland's premier superhero group, fea-turing Captain Fisherman, Doctor Feminfist, and Ster-
kálfur, the World's Strongest Elf. In our
reality, the Order of the Falcon is the
medal that the Icelandic State bestows
on whomever it pleases. It has been in the
news lately because in mid-December
the President gave the Prime Minister
the Grand Cross of the Order of the Fal-
con.
That last phrase still sounds like it's
out of a comic book.
It was done almost in secret. No press re-
leases were sent out, no photos were tak-
en, in fact the media did not learn about
it until someone noticed that his name,
and that of the Speaker of the Icelandic
Parliament, had been added to the list
of recipients on the President's website.
When the media revealed this, it caused
an uproar.
Why? Politicians are always giving
each other stuff like that. They're like
friendship bracelets for grown-ups.
Things did not improve for the current
Prime Minister when it came out that
the previous Prime Minister, Jóhanna
Sigurðardóttir, had refused the Order of
the Falcon three times. This reminded
people why they liked her in the first
place (her principled refusal to be given
a piece of shiny metal) and also why she
lost popularity during her time in office
(her principled refusal to let the media
know she had refused the piece of shiny
metal).
Ah, so people are upset that the cur-
rent Prime Minister didn't refuse the
sparkly thing?
Sort of. But as both the President's Of-
fice and one of the Prime Minister's as-
sistants pointed out, it is traditional that
a Prime Minister be awarded the Grand
Cross. Most people serving in the office
since the founding of the Order of the
Falcon in 1921 have received it. However,
after the 2008 financial crash, the public
has become a lot more critical of politi-
cians, so things that were once tolerated
now cause outrage.
Isn't the point of politicians in a de-
mocracy to be a target for the public's
dissatisfaction with society?
That and to provide employment for
people who make medals. Though to be
fair to politicians, they do take care of a
lot of the boring stuff that makes a society
function, for instance by deciding who
should be recognized publicly for their
good works. That is the popular side of
the Order of the Falcon. People like that
individuals who have dedicated their
life to the arts, charity, or the benefit of
society for limited rewards, are given a
token of appreciation. What causes an-
ger is when people are given shiny bits of
metal for attaining a particular political
office, or doing their job as a bureaucrat
or a businessman. Their salary should
be compensation enough, without them
being given something called a Knight's
Cross.
But why does an army-free state like
Iceland want to give people some-
thing called the Knight's Cross?
That is only lowest level of the Order of
the Falcon. The others are, in ascend-
ing order of sparkliness: Commander's
Cross, Commander's Cross with Star,
and Grand Cross. These can be given to
anyone. However, the final and highest
grade can only be given to heads of state,
and that is the Chain with the Grand
Cross Breast Star, which does resemble
the name of some medieval torture im-
plement. The reason for these ridiculous
sounding titles is that the Order of the
Falcon was established when Iceland
was a kingdom.
Iceland had kings? I bet they had cra-
zy unpronounceable names like King
Hjörlúðvík and Þórvígbrandlákur.
The Kingdom of Iceland had only one
king, Christian X. Despite the name, he
was not a bi-religious follower of Mal-
colm X, but the tenth king of that name
to rule Denmark. In 1918 Iceland gained
sovereignty over its internal affairs, but
retained the Danish king as head of state.
Christian X felt that a new kingdom
needed its own set of sparkly friendship
bracelets, so he established the Order of
the Falcon, as the heraldic symbol of the
King of Iceland was a gyrfalcon, which is
native to Iceland.
Why does the Order of the Falcon still
exist if Iceland is no longer a kingdom?
When Iceland became a republic in 1944,
the role of the president was modelled on
the king. In fact, the first president had
previously served as the king's regent in
Iceland. So along with other functions,
the president became the Grand Master
of the Order of the Falcon. And secret
leader of a group of superheroes who
protect Iceland against supervillains and
alien invasions.
So What's This Order
Of The Falcon I Keep
Hearing About?
Words by Kári Tulinius @Kattullus
Illustration by Lóa Hjálmtýsdóttir
?so
wh
at’s this...
over in four hours, only to commence
again in a spectacular fashion, shooting
up magma plumes some 60 metres into
the air—and it’s still going strong.
SEPTEMBER
One of Iceland’s park rangers gave
an American family a bollocking for dar-
ing their son to jump into freezing Flo-
sagjá rift at Þingvellir National Park. The
boy crawled up onto a ledge, freezing
and shivering as his parents laughed,
unaware of the grave danger they had
placed him in. Meanwhile, the Icelandic
police, generally known for their kitty-
filled Instagram account, brutalised
(read: stabbed) Liberian asylum seeker
Chaplas Menka while in custody. Police
authorities have since said the whole in-
cident was an accident.
OCTOBER
An Akureyri man found himself on
the wrong end of the law for burying
his beloved, deceased pet Chihuahua,
Prins, in his backyard. This is apparently
illegal, as he learned when local health
authorities phoned him up demanding
he disinter the body and bury it some-
where else. Medical doctors also exer-
cised their right to limited strike for the
very first time, earning much sympathy
from the general public. On a more
positive note, Afghani asylum seeker
Ghasem Mohamadi, who had gone on
hunger strike to protest his planned de-
portation, has been allowed to stay in
Iceland. Welcome, Ghasem!
NOVEMBER
As the weather started cooling
down, a new wave of protests started—
an informal gathering of 4,500 demand-
ed that the government and elected
officials do their job with integrity. A tall
order, perhaps, but the protesters cer-
tainly had their hearts in the right place.
And after the police and coast guard
miserably failed to retain the 250 new
submachine guns that they acquired
from Norway on the down-low, authori-
ties were thoroughly ridiculed and have
since promised that they will return the
arms. Eventually. Probably.
DECEMBER
Icelandic composer Jóhann
Jóhannsson was nominated for a
Golden Globe for his work on the film
‘Theory Of Everything,’ while coastal
patrol vessel Týr rescued 408 migrants
drifting some 165 nautical miles off
Malta’s coast. Good job! And during the
middle of Alþingi’s discussions about
the government’s budget proposal, PM
Sigmundur Davíð decided to take a
vacation without notifying the relevant
people. When the Grapevine reported
on his impromptu vacay, the PM’s press
secretary got in touch and urged us
to “reconsider” the story (which we
promptly failed to do). Meanwhile, the
PM was discretely awarded the highest
national order of Iceland for his exem-
plary service. Shortly thereafter, it was
revealed that his predecessor, Jóhanna
Sigurðardóttir, had been offered said or-
der three times, but refused every time,
stating that she did not believe her work
to be any more important or worthy of
recognition than that of others. Bravo.