Reykjavík Grapevine - 13.11.2015, Blaðsíða 4

this issue's lov eliest letter!

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LOVELIEST LETTER
FREE GRAPEVINE TEE HEE HEE!
Hello and hi there,

I had the supreme pleasure of visiting
your sunny (not quite in temperature
but certainly in disposition) shores the
other week, and thoroughly enjoyed
the various local kerfuffles and mon-
keyshines.

Though I must concede the compo-
nent that took me the most aback
and sent me into fits of f labbergasta-
tion was the unflagging courtesy of
Reykjavik drivers. Coming from Los
Angeles, I’m basically a rivulet of red
smeared across a roving Prius grille
typing this correspondence. Most
Angelenos are just a collection of red
stuff and teeth festooned all over the
f lank of a car. Read: Visit LA and run
the risk of vehicular maiming. It’s just
the very nature of Southern Califor-
nia. London has fog. LA has thought-
less, perpetually-late-for-jazzercise
drivers. Drivers eager to plow into you
if it’ll shave off a few more minutes off
PCH traffic.
So suffice it to say it was most refresh-
ing to waltz around Reykjavik and ac-
tually make eye contact with drivers
and have them stop and give pedes-
trians the right of way. One saint of
a commuter actually waived his right
of way (gnarling traffic momentarily)
and waited while I crossed the street. I
was weeping from the self less gesture.

So I commend and applaud the fair
people of your city. Take this both as
a lauding of the Icelandic people and
a scathing indictment of shitty Ameri-
can drivers. I tip my hat to you… spill-
ing brain matter in the process, as it
doubles as a makeshift tourniquet I
fashioned after a particularly invigo-
rating hit-and-run this morning.

It’s good to be home.

Yours concussedly,
Tommy
Hi Tommy,
You are absolutely right, Icelandic
drivers are completely different
from US ones! This is because Ice-
landers live in perpetual fear of of-
fending our North American over-
lords. Simply establishing in eye
contact as an American is a clear
sign of dominance, and the Iceland-
er in question will typically respond
with utter submission.
It’s very different with European
foreigners. Screw those guys—we go
out of our ways to bother them.
But not you. You’re swell.
- The Reykjavík Grapevine
Dear Sir or Madam
I am from Spain and I have been desper-
ately looking for work since being here in
Iceland for the last 14 days.
I am not one to complain about much, I
know it is hard to find work anywhere,
especially a new country. ... but as an EU
person I should have, in my understand-
ing about travelling and working in ice-
land, rights over a NON - EU person.
[content cut for brevity]
I am dismayed and sad that there is a list
as fat as the bible in the unemployment
agency for people—Icelandic, and EU
residents like me—who are all looking for
work and we are all fit and wanting work
and don't want to be getting a stupid tiny
unemployment benefit forever, but all
these non-EU people come in and work
without a worry for 1 day to 1 year, with-
out any disregard to the system. Not only
are these people stealing from the people
who are desperately looking for work like
me, they are stealing from the govern-
ment and the immediate community of
Reykjavik.
[content cut for brevity]
Where is the justice for people like me, who
want to migrate and make a new life in a
new country? These Icelandic employers
and illegal employees are taking the piss
out of the people who are looking hard to
find work, and want to be in Iceland for a
new life and it makes, me frustrated, an-
gry and disappointed that Iceland and its
people would have these problems in the
Reykjavik city area.
Thank you for listening
Roberto Carlos
Hi Roberto,
While the Icelandic food service indus-
try isn’t without fault, as you rightly
pointed out, have you considered that
people from outside the Schengen area
maybe also want to start a life in Reykja-
vík? Maybe they’re better suited for the
jobs you’re applying for.
Maybe you should stop buying into the
populist propaganda that foreigners are
stealing EU jobs? I mean, that’s some
lazy xenophobic rhetoric right there.
Or maybe you shouldn’t be asking a
tourist magazine for structural life ad-
vice? We have an advice columnist you
could reach out to, but you shouldn’t re-
ally ask her questions either.
- The Reykjavík Grapevine
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