Reykjavík Grapevine - 08.01.2016, Side 4

this issue's lov eliest letter!

Check it out! Whoever sent in this issue's
LOVELIEST LETTER gets a free Grapevine
T-shirt, featuring the regal G that adorns our
cover. DON’T PANIC if your letter wasn’t
found to be this issue's loveliest. You can
still get a tee for a low, low price over our
website, www.grapevine.is.
And guess what: we always give out SICK
prizes for each issue's LOVELIEST LETTER,
so be sure to send in some fun and/or
interesting missives.
Give us your worst: letters@grapevine.is
FREE GRAPEVINE
TEE HEE HEE!
LOVELIEST
LETTER
Hello My name is Julian Fox and I am
12 years old, in the 6th grade. I live on
Cape Cod in the state of Massachu-
setts.
I am looking to find a Pen Pal
to share about our lives in different
countries. We could share music, art
and other interests via e-mail and
regular mail. Do you know of any-
one who might like to do this? At the
end of April I will be visiting Iceland
with my mother for one week during
spring break vacation. I would like to
learn more about Iceland before we go
and maybe I could meet with that Pen
Pal when we visit. My email address
is: [REDACTED—write to letters@
grapevine.is if you wish to become Ju-
lian’s pen pal]
And my home address is: [REDACT-
ED—again, write to letters@grape-
vine.is if you wish to become Julian’s
pen pal] Thank you so much and if you
can let me know that would be great!
Hi Julian,
You sound really nice. What a nice
kid you are. Not like those rotten
millenials. Nope. You represent a
new breed of human, a brand new
generation. Exciting times, we’re
living in! Generation Nice, we’ll call
you guys.
Anyway, good idea you had, get-
ting a pen pal. Turns out Genera-
tion Nice is also Generation Smart!
Pen pals are great, you know, be-
cause unlike real, physical pals, pen
pals can’t steal your stuff. The only
things they can take from you are
intangible, useless and boring—like
your hopes, dreams and innocence.
Nobody cares about that stuff, it will
only get in the way of your career
advancement when you eventually
grow up. So, yes! Great idea! We ap-
plaud you!
Sincerely: Good luck finding a
pen pal, young man. We hope you
learn a lot and have a great time
when you make it to Iceland. We’d
write to you ourselves, but since you
want to meet up when you arrive
here, we figure it’s better if we keep
our distance, so as not to disappoint
you. Adulthood is hard on both body
and soul, but it doesn’t even come
close to what working at the Grape-
vine will do to you. From the bottom
of our long-since putrified hearts
and the shrunken core of our grey,
shriveled souls, we urge you: keep
clear! Stay away!
Also, we get way too many effing
letters as is.
Stay cool,
Your Friends At The Reykjavík
Grapevine
(PS—you get a prize for being an
exemplary member of Generation
Nice: A cool Grapevine t-shirt that
will surely serve to impress all of
your friends back in Cape Cod. Just
drop us a line to claim it.)
Say your piece, voice your
opinion, send your letters to:
letters@grapevine.is
SOUR GRAPES AND STUFF
Hæ, I live in Akranes and although I
drive I sometimes have to look at the
bus schedule for friends. I have been
shocked to see that the website bus.is
only has storm warnings or informa-
tion regarding buses that are cancelled
due to bad weather on their Icelandic
page and not on the English page. This
means that immigrants and tourists
are not getting vital information and
often are waiting at bus stops in dras-
tic weather as according to the English
page everything seems fine.
I've sometimes had to rescue such
folk and put them up in my home un-
til the bus service resumed. I've writ-
ten to the bus company several times
about this problem but they have not
even acknowledged my emails. Con-
sidering that we are expecting a great
storm today, I wonder if Grapevine
would get better results from Stræto?
Can you please ask them why they
don't have warnings about buses that
are cancelled due to the weather on
their English page? I'm sure it is just
an oversight, not that they are delib-
erately trying to have tourists die of
exposure.
LoVe, Pauline
Hey Pauline, thanks for writing, and
for placing your trust in us. We will
make a modicum of effort to not let
you down too hard.
Anyway. Yes. We agree. This is no
good, it’s a case of bad—or at least ex-
tremely sloppy—organization.
Hopefully things will get sorted out
at Strætó at some point, although we
must note that they are traditionally
rather hard to get a hold of in gen-
eral—heck, a teenage girl with se-
vere developmental disabilities went
missing for seven hours in one of
their vans last year. Yup, that’s an ac-
tual thing that happened. But they’ve
been getting better lately, we hear.
While you await word from
Strætó’s Director of Public Relations,
here’s a great tip for how you can
check the weather: take a look out-
side. YOU’RE WELCOME. #lifehack
#wow
Best regards,
Your Friends At The Reykjavík
Grapevine
Er
ró
, J
ai
m
e
Sa
b
ar
te
s,
1
96
4.

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