Reykjavík Grapevine - 05.02.2016, Blaðsíða 6

6
The Reykjavík Grapevine
Issue 2 — 2016
Tel: +354 511 2600 · info@bustravel.is · bustravel.is
ALL
SEASON
S!
Glacier Lagoon
Jökulsárlón
– Day tour –
This great tour takes us along the impressive south
shore of Iceland to the extraordinary Glacier Lagoon.
Availability . . . . . . Saturdays
Pick up starts . . . . 07:00am
Duration . . . . . . . . 14 hours
Price . . . . . . . . . . . 18.900 ISK
I C E L A N D 4 D U M M I E S
LÓABRATORIUM
A POEM BY
KRISTÍN SVAVA
TÓMASDÓTTIR
Good Times
These were good times.
I worked intermittently
at the paper, spent my
evenings hammering on
the typewriter wrapped
in a cloud of smoke, but by
day I met the girls. We sat
in cafés for hours, often at
Select where the waiters
knew us, drank coffee and
aperitifs. Someone read
lines from a new poem or
from a philosophy essay,
sometimes we leafed
through the papers. We
talked a lot, laughed a lot,
and then wandered the
streets intoxicated by our
own linguistic genius.
We were there, Simone
and I, Svava, Gertrude,
Emma, Rosa, and others,
Victoria would join
the group if she were
alright because of the
unreliable depression
that tends to accompany
the gift of genius. We
were utterly destitute
but always managed to
scrape enough together
for aperitifs and the latest
work of the poet whom
we chose to mock at that
moment. In the end most
of us got married, as it
happens, and a cozy home
life was enchanting to a
certain extent—but we
kept on meeting, always
on Thursday evenings,
drank together and then
went to brothels, where
we discussed matters
with the sharpest whores
of Paris before we went
with them into back
rooms.
Translated by Philip
Roughton
---
A POEM BY is brought to
you by Grapevine’s fancy
poetry liaison, Jón Örn
Loðmfjörð
Icelandic words that didn’t make the cut:
Hairy
Berry
The Icelandic language is famous for
rejecting loan words, offering up novel
neologisms constructed from native
components instead of adopting for-
eign words. To the relief of language
purists, these new words usually stick.
Some words, however, just don't roll
off the tongue. They gather dust as cute
linguistic novelties while their clunky
counterparts enter common parlance.
Icelandic names for fruits haven't fared
so well, perhaps due to the fact that
they tend to describe the fruit in gross
detail: it's little surprise that banani
("banana") has won out over bjúgaldin,
which literally means "sausage fruit."
Yummy. Moreover, banani conveniently
declines, producing the comical form
"banönunum" or "bönununum" in the
dative plural with the definite article
suffixed. So too, kíví ("kiwi") seems far
more innocuous than loðber, which
means "hairy berry" and conjures up
some unsavory images. Tómatur per-
haps replaced rauðaldin ("red fruit")
when the Árni Magnússon Institute dis-
covered the joy of fried green tomatoes
and realized they need not judge fruits
by the colour of their skin.
While Icelandic cocktail culture is
still in its nascency, there's no ambigu-
ity that kokteill has all but supplanted
hanastél, which literally means "cock
tail." Perhaps this is a loss, since hani
etymologically invokes hæna, which
means "hen," but can also be used to
describe someone who gets wasted on
a small amount of booze. After drinking
some kokteilar, you'll get funny looks if
you ask where the snyrting is. Sure, this
word still appears on bathroom doors in
some more respectable establishments,
but it's the English equivalent of ask-
ing where the "washroom" is. You'd be
better off using the word klósett which
comes, by means of Danish, from the
English "water closet." Be warned,
however, that klósett refers to the toilet
itself, lest you announce that you need
to go "into the toilet." After your kló-
sett visit, if you have the drunchies and
fancy a slab of grease, you won't find any
shop advertising flatbökur. Quaint as it
is to call pizza "flat pie," Icelanders are
just fine with pítsa or pizza. This latter
option flouts the language reforms of
1973 whereby the letter "z" was replaced
by "s"—thankfully so, lest the word be-
come indistinguishable from the verb
pissa, which, of course, means "to piss."
And who's to say whether that word
came from English, or from the univer-
sal language of the potty.
Unless you’ve been living in a cave for the past
five years, you’ve probably heard it a billion
times: Winter is coming. Well, in Iceland, winter
has already come, there’s no doubt about it. And
for the most part, it’s beautiful! However, while win-
ter’s frosty glow certainly renders the local land-
scapes even more gorgeous and mesmerizing, it
also—and more importantly—makes the roads
you must drive to view those landscapes more
dangerous and slippery.
Indeed, driving in Iceland during winter can be
a very dangerous prospect, quite unlike anything
you’ve ever experienced. Now, we want you to be
safe, because we love you, so in that spirit, here are
some tips and precautions that should be useful to
anyone planning to drive around the country dur-
ing these cold and gloomy months.
- Ensure that your vehicle is well equipped with
winter tires. If you’re planning on leaving the
greater Reykjavík area, studded tires are a
must.
- Respect the law, for your own safety, for in-
stance by ensuring that every passenger in
your vehicle has fastened their seatbelt and is
strapped in tightly.
- The speed limit within city or town limits is usu-
ally 50km/h. It is 30km/h in residential areas.
Paved highways are generally 90 km/h unless
otherwise indicated, while the speed limit for
gravel roads is 80km/h. Always respect the
speed limit—it’s there for a reason—but re-
member that they are set with optimal condi-
tions in mind, so do adjust your velocity appro-
priately when driving through snowdrifts or on
an icy road, for instance.
- Make sure your vehicle is at all times equipped
with a shovel and a hefty rope. For longer
ventures, bring along warm clothes, water
and a charged-up cell phone. Jumper cables
couldn’t hurt, either.
- Pay close attention to the road. We know the
landscape is probably the most beautiful thing
you’ll ever see, but it is also one of the trickiest.
You don’t want to gamble here.
- Remember to always keep your headlights on,
whatever conditions you are driving in, as is
mandated by law.
- Always be doubly careful when approaching
blind hills, on gravel roads, and before crossing
single lane bridges (we do have a lot of these).
- Sheep and horses can cross the road at any
moment, even during winter (although that’s
admittedly kind of rare). Be vigilant!
- Don’t go stomping on that gas pedal, you will
get to your destination by being as careful as
possible—and there’s no hurry, is there?
- Follow the signs. Show common sense. Think
a little. Understand that even main roads can
close up for extended periods of time during
winter, and that in Iceland, you cannot reason-
ably expect to travel anywhere by car.
- Constantly updated information road and
weather conditions can be found on the Icelan-
dic Road and Coastal Administration’s helpful
website: www.vegagerdin.is. Be sure to always
check in there before embarking on a trip.
- Further information about weather and poten-
tial alerts can be found at safetravel.is.
- Access up-to-date information on road condi-
tions in English by calling 1778.
- In case of an emergency, call 112 (the Icelandic
equivalent of 911).
- Stay safe.
and Flat Pies - By Eli Petzold
Your Handy Guide
To Driving Safely
Through The
Icelandic Winter!
By Hadrien
Chalard
Lóabratorium
by Lóa
Hjálmtýsdóttir