Reykjavík Grapevine - 09.09.2016, Blaðsíða 62

LÓABORATORIUM
SMJÖRFLUGA
Don't Ask
Nanna About
Volcanoes
By NANNA DÍS ÁRNADÓTTIR
Dear Nanna,
So, is Katla gonna blow?
Vulcan
Hey Vulcan,
Let’s just say, in my professional opinion
as a bad advice columnist, that the Katla
volcano will definitely erupt, unleash-
ing upon the world a tide of molten lava
so violent it induces a ten year winter of
cold darkness, an endless f lutter of at-
first fat f lakes of ash coating the earth
like a bleak blanket of snow, then a finer
ash that coats the lungs and chokes live-
stock and humans alike, reaping from this
earth millions of lives. Travel will cease,
production, agriculture, life will grind to
a painful halt and only those with the for-
titude of will and a stamina for cannibal-
ism will survive to rebuild a new society
from the remains of the last.
Nanna
––»»π««––
Dear Nanna,
I’m seeing, well okay, I’m sleeping with
this girl and I really, really don’t like
her as a person. But the sex is like,
whoa. She’s just, like, a really really
horrible person. Do I have to stop see-
ing her just because she’s kind of un-
bearable?
Feeling Gross But Kind of Hot I Dunno
Dear FGBKoHID,
If you feel okay sleeping with a white su-
premacist/brothel madam/serial killer/
barbed compliment giver/Train fangirl/
whatever this terrible girl is, then by all
means, go forth and fornicate. If not, then
don’t set yourself on fire. Wait what? No,
yes, that’s definitely the advice I wanted
to give. Don’t set yourself on fire.
Nanna
Do you want to ask Nanna a question? Go ahead, but continue at your
peril. Shoot her an email on nanna.arnadottir(at)gmail.com or tweet her
using @NannaArnadottir
DON'T ASK
NANNA
The Reykjavík Grapevine
Issue 14 — 2016
62
HUMANS
OF REYKJAVÍK
This issue’s human:
Haraldur Bogi, Barber at Barber Bar
What’s it like cutting hair
for Icelanders?
“Not here, but the last place I
worked at, I had a 90-year-old man
sit in my chair. I had just finished
his cut, placed my middle and
forefingers on his temples, and
examined the mirror to check his
sideburns were even.
“I notice a single eyebrow hair
sticking out of his right eyebrow.
It must have been over ten centi-
metres long, a single white strand.
Without even thinking about it, I
pick up my scissors and snip. The
old man leaps from the chair, ‘What
are you doing? That’s my wisdom
hair!’
“He freaks out. He keeps shout-
ing. I had to give him the haircut
for free and pay him off with a few
bottles of free shampoo before he
finally left.”
What about tourists and visitors?
What do they want when they get
a haircut in Reykjavík?
“They want a haircut like an ‘Ice-
lander.’ It’s mostly fades, either high
or mid-taper fades. It’s all about
classic looks from the 1940s and
1950s. Actually, I don’t think men’s
haircuts have been so clean and cool
since the 1940s. It’s sick.”
Why hair? What got you into this?
“At first I worked on cars. I was a
mechanic, but I didn’t like it. My
girlfriend got tired of me complain-
ing about work all the time and one
morning when I woke up she said,
‘I enrolled you for hairdressing
school.’ And that was it.”
Words & Photo
YORK UNDERWOOD
“Awesome experience”