Reykjavík Grapevine - 13.07.2018, Blaðsíða 10
#IcelandSmites
@FLATEYPIZZA FLATEY.PIZZA
GRANDAGARÐUR 11
101 REYKJAVÍK +354 5882666
PIZZA
NAPOLETANA
As a fascinating World Cup tournament
reaches its finale, the Icelandic men’s
team are regrouping for some coming
tournaments, while the women’s team
storms past a much-fancied Germany
side to potentially top their group for
the Women’s World Cup. Here’s all
the latest news from the war camp.
Women’s team poised to
double-smite Germany
While the men’s team was flaming out
of the World Cup’s group stage in a blaze
of glory, the women’s team was coasting
through a challenging qualifying group on
its way to the Women’s World Cup. After
smiting the poor Faroe Islands 8-0, the
valkyries proceeded to cause a huge upset
by beating strongly-fancied Germany 3-2,
putting them in pole position to win their
group and automatically qualify. They’ll
have to smite Germany in second (home)
leg on September 1st at Laugardalsvöllur,
before resolving the group
in their final game against
the Czech Republic soon
after. Áfram stelpurnar! JR
Heimir refs
11-year-olds in
Vestmannaeyjar
No sooner had Iceland
manager Heimir Hall-
grímsson returned
from Russia than
he was pictured
back in the local
media on his
home soil of
T h e We s t -
man Islands.
Was he down
the pub tell-
ing tales of
his exploits?
Putting his feet
up and catch-
ing up on RuPaul’s
Drag Race? Taking
it easy in the local hot
pot, maybe? Nope, none
of the above. He was imme-
diately back to work inspir-
ing the Icelandic nation
to greater football ing
heights by reffing a game
between some 11-year-
olds. What a guy. Here’s
hoping Heimir keeps
managing the men’s
team—his decision on
this matter is expected soon. JR
Hannes heads to
Azerbaijan
Hannes Þór “Wild Claws” Halldórsson has
moved onto pastures new following his
World Cup heroics, ending a two year spell
with Danish club Randers. In the 2018-19
season, Hannes will be turning out for
Azerbaijani cham-
p i o n s Q a r a b a ğ ,
who appeared in
last year’s Cham-
p i o n s L e a g u e
Group C alongside
Roma, Chelsea and
Atlético Madrid.
R u m o u r h a s i t
that Hannes was
compelled to move
simply to continue
his ongoing mental
o b l i t e r a t i o n o f
Lionel Messi. The
little magician will
be hoping Hannes’s form in the group
stage—should Qarabağ meet Barce-
lona—will be even softer than Azer-
baijan’s human rights record. GR
Men’s team poised to
destroy Nations League
The Icelandic men’s team are set to
become the inaugural winners of the
UEFA Nations League once the World
Cup is over. Beginning their campaign
against perpetual disappointments Swit-
zerland on September 8th, they will then
play Belgium on September 11th, before
completing return legs against both sides
in October and November respectively.
Nobody is entirely sure what the Nations
League is, or how it works, but the vague
idea behind it is to replace meaningless
international friendlies with something
more competitive. Supposedly, it will
also offer an alternative qualification
route to Euro Cup hopefuls who miss
out through traditional means; not
that Heimir’s men will need that. GR
“Shaggy Breeches” hangs
up his battle-axe
Defensive stalwart Ragnar Sigurðsson has
called time on his international career,
saying in an Instagram post that “it’s
time for some young guns to take over
the defence.” Raggi made his crusading
debut in 2007 in a 1-1 draw with Canada,
and went on to earn 80 horned helmets
over the next decade. Obviously, his most
memorable moment was his equaliser
against England in Euro 2016, which
helped our boys on to their most famous
pillaging. The Rostov man’s announce-
ment will almost certainly be the first
of several changes made to the starting
smiters in the wake of the World Cup,
as more warriors-in-waiting dislodge
the old guard from the front line. GR
“The Annihilator” handed
new deal
Aron Gunnarsson has signed a one-year
contract extension with newly promoted
Premier League club Cardiff City. There
had previously been
speculation over his
future, but Aron
extinguished any
uncertainty by join-
ing Junior Hoilett
and Sean Morrison
in committing to
the Bluebirds’ battle
for survival next
season. Aron told
Cardiff City TV: "I
always wanted to
stay and I told the
gaffer that. Even
though I didn't say
much in the news, I just wanted to do
my job on the pitch." The Iceland captain
joined the Welsh club from Coventry
City in 2011 and has gone on to make 258
appearances for them, scoring 24 goals.
Here’s to many more, big man! GR
Words:
John
Rogers &
Greig Kaj
Robertsson
Illustration:
Lóa Hlín
Hjalmtýsdóttir
SPORT
The Smiting
Never Ends
Despite their early World Cup exit, the horde
are preparing to lay siege to Europe, and the
world, once more
The ride of the valkyries
“After smiting the
poor Faroe Islands
8-0, the valkyries
proceeded to
cause a huge
upset by beating
strongly-fancied
Germany 3-2.”