Reykjavík Grapevine - 19.11.2018, Page 56

L IF E , T R AV EL & EN T ER TA INMEN T IN ICEL A ND
Issue 19 × 2018
Oct 19th – Nov 8th
www.grapevine.is
LAST WORDS
The Anger Of Men
Words: Hannah Jane Cohen
The overwhelming consensus was that Dr.
Christine Blasey Ford behaved admirably last
month. All over the world, people praised her
composure, decorum, and respectful asser-
tiveness. On the other hand, Brett Kavanaugh
and Lindsey Graham acted like petulant chil-
dren. The fact that they were allowed to act
as they did, and not be disciplined for it, was,
for many men, shocking.
But for women, whilst upsetting, it was
anything but.
Male emotional leeway
One universal fact of femininity is that men
are allotted a certain amount of emotional
leeway—a privilege not extended to women.
Men are allowed to be turbulent. They are
allowed to throw fits. They can act unprofes-
sionally. And once they have done so, they are
excused because they are, as their male peers
would say, “only human.”
Over my life, I’ve seen so many men act in
ways that women would just never be allowed
to without severe judgement or punishment.
I’ve seen male professors throw fits and in-
sult students in a way that would inevitably
put their female colleagues on probation.
I’ve seen bosses throw glasses and berate
staff, usually female, in a way that would get a
woman fired on the spot. Men can be passive
aggressive or outright rude. Women cannot.
Enigmatic rules
Because when a woman toes—even remote-
ly—the line of expressive emotion, she’s
unbalanced and hysterical. In my wildest
dreams, I cannot even imagine a women be-
having like Kavanaugh or Graham. It’s laugh-
able. It’d be both career and social, suicide,
and confirm the—well established—fact
that women are over dramatic and irrational.
See, the rules of female behaviour are rig-
id and enigmatic. Be assertive, but calmly
and with no self-assurance. Apologise for
or brush off your success so you don’t look
cocky. Act agreeable and cheerful—but not
intrusively so. The list goes on.
And men usually can’t see the double stan-
dard. I don’t attribute this misunderstand-
ing to malice, just socialisation. If you teach
someone from birth that one group of people
is completely unbalanced, they’ll confirm it
instinctively whenever it shows up. There-
fore, I applaud Dr. Ford for the impossible
act of succeeding at femininity, albeit for a
moment.
That said, I wish she didn’t have to.
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