Reykjavík Grapevine - okt 2020, Qupperneq 32

L IF E , T R AV EL & EN T ER TA INMEN T IN ICEL A ND
Issue 08 ! 2020
Oct 9th—Nov 5th
www.grapevine.is
LAST WORDS
The GOP Proves
Zombies Would Win
Words: Hannah Jane Cohen
In Max Brooks’ superb novel ‘World War Z’,
a zombie virus is created—curiously, due
to tainted water in a village in China, but I
digress—and is spread through the world
by people who knew they were bitten by an
infected person and still inexplicably travel
to other countries, subsequently infecting
people there. Some are looking for elusive
cures; others are fleeing chaos, but all of them
knowingly put their family, friends, and liter-
ally every other person on Earth in danger.
This happens so often in zombie media—
Resident Evil, The Last Of Us, etc.—that it’s
become a trope. We laugh, wondering who on
Earth would do something so idiotic and self-
ish? Most of us assume that no one would be
so heartless and delusional that they would—
knowing they were inflicted with a massively
contagious deadly virus—go and hang out
with their family, friends, doctors, politicians
and Supreme Court nominees, right? Who
would do that?
I suppose you know where I’m going.
Yes, in an amazing feat of hubris, the
Trump administration—in but a few hours,
accompanied by cocktails—just ensured that
one single building in the 3rd largest country
in the world now has more active coronavirus
cases than some entire countries.
The White House is currently—at the time
of writing—a hotbed of COVID-19, having
literally hosted a super-spreader event. And
what’s come out of the #RoseGardenMas-
sacre? A host of infections among everyone
from the President himself to numerous GOP
senators to bottle-blonde robots Kayleigh
McEnany and Kellyanne Conway. Note that
Kellyanne lied to her 15 year-old daughter
about her diagnosis, subsequently infecting
her, which we only found out about via her
daughter’s whistleblower TikTok. 2020, yeah?
By the time you’re reading this, it’s very
possible one of them may have died. It’s very
possible one may have infected a family
member, dear friend, or employee. It’s very
possible that the GOP itself might have lost
themselves the opportunity to appoint Aunt
Lydia to the Supreme Court because of their
own arrogance. It’s very possible this might
cause Mitch McConnell to explode.
All we know? In the event of a zombie
apocalypse, stay the fuck away from Hope
Hicks.
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