Reykjavík Grapevine - jul. 2021, Side 7

Brace yourselves for a controver-
sial statement: the Marvel Cinematic
Universe’s Thor is a superior version of
Norse Mythology’s !ór. Now, before the
mythology aficionados clench their fists
and grasp for their synthetic, 3D printed
replica of Mjöllnir, hear me out.
Born to lose
Both are hammer-wielding Gods of
Thunder, whose primary purpose is
defending the realms of Ásgar" (home of
the Æsir gods) and Mi"gar"ur (world of
men). When !ór isn’t seeking out every
opportunity to face imminent death by
battling Jörmungandur––the serpent
that encircles Mi"gar"ur––in Ragnarök
he’s tediously walking the line between
cocky or confident. Mostly, what char-
acterizes !ór is his relentless pursuit of
killing Jörmungandur. The sea serpent
is actually one of Loki’s children, who
was tossed into the ocean surrounding
Mi"gar"ur by Ó"inn, becoming !ór’s
greatest enemy.
The Prose Edda details a fishing
trip !ór took with the giant Hymir. As
any guest would, !ór went to Hymir’s
barn, chose the biggest ox and casually
chopped off its head as his choice of bait.
Then, ignoring Hymir’s hesitations,
!ór continued to row to the deepest
part of the ocean where, conveniently,
Jörmungandur lurked. The behemoth
latched onto !ór’s line, only for it to
be severed by Hymir, who feared the
fated Ragnarök would come too soon.
The delay didn’t last long, as Ragnarök
finally came. They battled it out and
!ór was finally getting an ego boost to
match his colossal pecs. He reveled in
his victory, only to die from the serpent’s
venom––because I told you, this guy was
just not born a winner.
Genetics of a God
I’ll tell you who was born a winner—
Chris Hemsworth, a glowing, genetic
masterpiece from Australia who found
his own 3D replica of Mjöllnir, swung it
around a few times (rodeo-style) and
flew straight into the Marvel Cinematic
Universe as Thor. If !ór was ever tossed
into the modern world, he’d probably
mutate into a superior mortal like the
cunning Thor. There’s no denying that
Thor has an enormous ego to match his
equally prominent pecs, but there’s also
some wit and wisdom tossed in there,
which !ór is lacking. !ór also drew the
short straw when he was blessed with
a fiery red beard instead of the chiseled
face of Thor, sunkissed by the southern
hemisphere. Despite !ór never having
a “Come to Jesus” moment, Thor defi-
nitely got his––banished to Mi"gar"ur
by Ó"inn for his arrogance and short-
sightedness when picking battles.
Ó"inn hoped Mi"gar"ur would strip
Thor of his egotistical tendencies. Luck-
ily, the world of men has a way of break-
ing down even the most resistant egos,
even an ego with the genetics of a god.
Thor manages to make friends and
capture victories through it all, some-
thing that not all *ahem* !órs get to
experience. Despite Thor’s piercing blue
eyes, he’s a softy with a side of clever and
often, unintentional humour. He also
has impeccable time management––
bouncing between the cosmos and the
world of men, desperately trying to
maintain order in a chaotic galaxy. On
the other hand, !ór can’t quite seem to
remember that he’s supposed to be the
one balancing the scale, not tipping it.
Stealing the thunder
In the 21st century, maybe !ór would
actually just be a less popular fraternal
twin brother of Thor. Almost like clock-
work, !ór has to steal back his thunder
when Thor starts deadlifting any will-
ing volunteers. With the behavioural
problems and temper of a pre-teen,
!ór can’t help but storm out when his
subpar pecs compared to Thor’s. Not to
mention, he somehow never acquired
the charming Australian accent of Thor
and can only speak in Old Norse––it’s no
wonder Icelanders are his only fans.
7 The Reykjavík Grapevine
Issue 07— 2021
superserious - let's
be grown ups
In the early 2000s,
there was a brief
flash of light in the
indie scene, when
bands like Jet,
Interpol and The
Hives dominated
the airwaves with
straightforward,
simple, yet somehow
whimsical rock. If you
miss those days, then
superserious is the
band for you. They
capture this sound
perfectly, and will
have you dusting o!
your Vans trucker hat
and cracking open a
PBR with the boys. ASF

Tom Hannay - Dog
Days
Damn—this is some
sultry shit, Tom.
“Dog Days” is a wild
ride that alternates
between sexy funk
music and occasional
ridiculousness
about only having
date night every
two weeks. It’s one
of those songs you
would definitely put
on a sexy playlist
providing the person
you were hooking
up with didn’t speak
English. Best lyrics?
“I’ve put on some
weight and so have
you, but there’s still
a lot of lovin’ that we
could get to.” HJC

Vill - 1000 NÆTUR
(feat. Agnes from
Sykur)
COVID-19 is o"cially
done in Iceland,
meaning there’s no
room anymore for
gloomy Scandinavian
soul-searching pop
anthems. No, we want
to go wild. And Agnes
Björt Andradóttir
could be the one
to kickstart the
COVID-free party of
2021. I mean, what a
voice! “1000 Nætur”
is strong electro pop
with emphasis on
the party element.
This is the song that’ll
have you throwing
around glow sticks
and spilling beer on
the person next to
you while dancing out
of your mind. To be
honest, that's what
we want right now. VG

Kælan Mikla -
Ós!nileg
In these solstice-
adjacent days, the
Grapevine’s vibe is
all summer. But if 20
hours of daylight isn’t
your thing, Kælan
Mikla are here to
beckon you into their
cold, dark world.
This band has never
been shy of wearing
their influences on
their crushed purple
velvet sleeves. The
bassline is straight
o! The Cure’s
third album, while
distinctly early-80s
synth pads wash over
the soundscape. The
reverb-laden vocals
draw inspiration from
Propaganda, Dead
Can Dance and even
Clannad. The feelings
evoked are what
you might expect
from a band named
a#er the Moomin
personification of the
dangerous winter. JP

Red Riot - One More
Dance
"In this o"ce, we
recognise an OG
like Cell7, because
literally everything
she touches turns
to gold. Team her up
with Hildur and you
have a bonafide don’t
miss duo. This track
is a great example
of their combined
talents, an almost
mournful dance tune
about trying to hold
together a failing
relationship. Crisp,
clean production,
irascible flow and
entirely catchy, “One
More Dance” is a
superb summertime
track. ASF
GRAPEVINE
PLAYLIST
JUST SAYINGS
It perhaps doesn’t sound like a wise deci-
sion to go into battle armed only with
two shields (unless you're a viking in
Assassin's Creed Valhalla), but it can be
effective if you're a Danish intelligence
agent. The saying “A" leika tveimur
skjöldum” literally translates to “to
play with two shields.” The best way to
explain this is perhaps by recapping the
classic film ‘Primal Fear’, where Edward
Norton pretends to be mentally ill and
innocent of murder, when he’s actu-
ally a calculated criminal. This saying is
used often in Icelandic conversation and
means that the one that is armed with
two shields is deceitful and dishonest
— like the Danish Defence Intelligence
Service spying on their allies for the
NSA. VG
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A beloved family photo from our Editor-In-Chief
,,A" leika tveimur
skjöldum”
GODS OF ICELAND
Superpowers:
Speaking Old
Norse.
Weaknesses:
Fishing. Snatch
deadli#s.
Modern
Analogy:
The inferior
twin brother of
MCU’s Thor
#ór, The Unpopular Fraternal Twin
Brother of Marvel’s Thor
Are Icelanders his OnlyFans?
Words:
Brittnee Kiner
Photo:
Wikimedia
Commons &
YouTube Channel
FilmZone TV
More like Chris Hemsworthless