The White Falcon - 17.04.1943, Qupperneq 8

8
Barney Google and Snuffy Smith by Billy DeBeck
Is Army Too ‘Rugged’ These Days?
Well, Blame It On Valley Foige
“We’re up to our knees in mud,
and the dust is blowing in our
faces,” wrote Pvt. Habakkuk
Simpkins, “verily this place is
in truth the backside of all crea-
tion.”
It was in January, 1778, that
Simpkins wrote thusly to a cous-
in in Salem, Mass. The letter had
been misdirected from Valley
Forge to Boston, from Boston to
Trenton, and back to Valley
Forge .... by way of Salem.
At the time Simpkins enlisted,
Massachusetts militiamen were
being paid the equivalent of $150
each month. It was true that the
weekly ration included one day
of fish. But on the other hand,
Simpkins and his buddies elect-
ed their own company officers
And who would be so bold as
to put a voter on KP for a week?
Around election time, in fact,
the officers’ attention became an
irritation. They made a nuisance
of themselves, hanging about the
huts with polishing cloth or clip-
pers and razor eagerly in hand.
And, according to the records,
officers handed out passes and
furloughs so promiscuously that
General Washington had to take
over that department himself.
So sad was the state of the
camp that when General Von
Steuben came to take over the
training of the men he observed
that he “found more quartermas-
ters and commissaries in the
camp than in all the armies of
Europe.”
It was a grand time the boys
had been having at Valley Forge
before Von Steuben was brought
in as military efficiency expert.
“One pound of good common
soap for each six men per week”
was provided G.I. and for free
to those who cared for that sort
of thing. For those who didn’t,
there was the allowance of “two
pounds of flour and a half pound
of rendered tallow” which help-
ed to keep one’s hair or wig
sleek and shining.
That was another thing. When
George Washington was running
this man’s Army the G.I. hair-
cut was unknown. And if you
I couldn’t grow enough of your
own, you were free to add as
much fake hair as you wished.
When they called in Von Steu-
ben the first thing he did was
“outline methods of gaining
wood and water by means of an
organized system of signals and
formations.”
And that was only the begin-
ning. He established roll calls of
“troop” and “retreat” under
arms, and the “reveille” and
“noon” without arms. At about
this stage of the game, a couple
of ward-bosses from the bar-
racks called on Von Steuben.
“In the Old Army,” they began
together, “things wasn’t like
this ....” Von Steuben’s only
reply is phrased in the words
of history, “He charged the
non-commissioned officers with
the making of an accurate check
of their squads at Tattoo to see
that the men were in bed.”
At the “troop beating” he re-
quired company officers to “in-
spect into the dress of their
men,” in order to “see that their
clothes are whole and put on
properly, their hands and faces
washed clean, their hair combed,
their accoutrements properly
fixed and every article about
them in the greatest order.”
Things were really getting
rugged at Valley Forge. The men
found themselves rolling out for
Reveille every morning and run-
ning briskly through rifle dri'l
The commands for firing and
loading in those days ran to
thirteen counts and nineteen
motions .... by the numbers.
They used to change corporals
on the seventh command while
the first corporal caught his
breath for the next Command.
I