Reykjavík Grapevine - 14.01.2005, Page 14

A GRAPEVINE QUIZ:
Which type of Icelandic politician
are you?
Politics is pretty boring stuff, isn’t it? I mean, who can keep track of the different political parties and
their issues, or follow the endlessly circular speeches made in parliament? Does anyone under the age of
75 even watch the parliamentary sessions on television? Take this simple quiz to see which of the four
types of Icelandic politician you are. Turn off your cerebral cortex and get ready for minutes of fast food
for thought:
1) You got your current job by:
a) Hard work, long hours, and dedication.
b) Switching jobs with your closest ally.
c) I have a job?
d) No comment.
2) The last time you cried was when:
a) Someone ate the last kleina in the break room.
b) You saw pictures of starving children on
television.
c) Tears are for the weak.
d) Call my secretary and book an appointment.
3) When you see images of Iceland’s
wilderness, you:
a) This is off the record, right?
b) Think to yourself, “What a waste of real estate.”
c) Are filled with pride to live in such an unspoiled
country.
d) Change the channel.
4) School teachers are:
a) None of my business.
b) None of your business.
c) Greedy, whining parasites.
d) Master builders of our nation’s future.
5) When I’m not working, I like to:
a) I’m always working when it comes to serving the
public.
b) Drive to Keflavík and gaze enviously at the
NATO base.
c) Next question.
d) Go to champagne-filled gala events.
6) Iceland’s immigration policy should:
a) Wait, they can’t vote, can they?
b) Make foreigners feel welcome and accepted the
way they are.
c) Never upset my constituents.
d) Keep the buggers in fish factories or language
classes.
7) The war in Iraq is:
a) A horrible mistake based on lies.
b) Sorry, I’m late for an appointment.
c) Another chance to try out our soldiers - I mean,
fire fighters.
d) I prefer to watch Innlit/Útlit.
8) Iceland’s role in the world is:
a) “I’m not in the office right now. Please leave a
message. Beep!”
b) To serve as an example of a strong, socially-
conscious nation.
c) To do whatever will keep America happy.
d) You mean there’s a rest of the world?
by Paul F Nikolov
You take civil service very seriously. Your voice carries
loud and steady in the halls of parliament, and even
those who don’t understand what you’re talking about
get the impression that whatever it is, you feel VERY
strongly about it. Whatever the issue may be, you
consistently stick up for the underdog. Which is not a
good way to get ahead in politics.
WONDERINGS
1: a=1, b=4, c=2, d=3
2: a=2, b=1, c=4, d=3
3: a=3, b=4, c=1, d=2
4: a=2, b=3, c=4, d=1
5: a=1, b=4, c=3, d=2
6: a=3, b=1, c=2, d=4
7: a=1, b=3, c=4, d=2
8: a=3, b=1, c=4, d=2
SCORING
Congratulations! You’re never afraid to let a little thing
like popular opinion stand in your way by pushing
through even wildly unpopular ideas. Your composure
in the face of your opponents only makes them angrier,
which might partially explain why no matter how many
people disagree with you, you manage to stay on top of
your game.
When the people ask you the tough questions, you
know exactly how to respond: don’t respond at all. If
you’re ever put in a position where you’re forced to say
something, you manage to say a lot without actually
answering the question. For this reason, no knows
where you really stand and you can therefore appeal to
just about anyone.
28 or higher:
You are Foreign Minister Davíð Oddsson
21 - 27:
You are Prime Minister Halldór Ásgrímsson
What good is a position of authority if you can’t enjoy
the perks, right? If there might be work put on your
desk, it can always wait – that’s why they invented
delegation! But when those invitations to social events
show up, you very diligently don your best attire and
be sure to situate yourself near the photographers. Say
cheese!
8 - 13:
You are Chairman of the Left-Green Party
Steingrímur Sigfússon
14 - 20:
You are Minister of Education
Þorgerður Katrín Gunnarsdóttir
Lækjar-
torg Hverfisgata
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