Reykjavík Grapevine - 14.07.2006, Síða 21

“I’ve seen a lot of things,” Hafliði, taxi driver
for BSR tells me. “Adultery, drugs, drunken-
ness, more adultery. People don’t seem to care
what a taxi driver sees or hears, and if they are
well behaved we are generally happy to ignore
them.”
It’s 3:00 am, and we’re in a cab parked at
the BSR taxi line on Lækjargata. There isn’t
much going on at the moment, but the plan is
to offer people discount rides in exchange for a
voyeuristic glimpse into their night out. So far
we’re seeing a lot of seagulls, and a few other
taxis, but customers are few and far between.
The driver, Hafliði, isn’t unduly concerned:
“It only starts to pick up after 3 am. That’s
when some people start to run out of steam
and head home, and others look for private
parties.”
A few minutes later and it seems like the
mission is doomed to end in failure, as no one
is keen on getting into a taxi with someone
already sitting in the front. “People like to
sit up front, especially when they are alone.
Sometimes the customers just need some-
one to tell their troubles to, we’re a bit like
bartenders in that respect,” says Hafliði. Just
then I look out the window and see a severely
intoxicated man drop his pizza in the gutter.
We make eye contact. As if to confirm what
I’ve just been told about the confidentiality of
taxis, he gives me a knowing wink as he picks
it back up and continues eating – satisfied that
no one else saw the deed.
In an effort to get the ball rolling, we
decide to turn the taxi concept on its head by
f lagging down passengers instead of the other
way around. The first man we stop looks star-
tled, and repeatedly asks if he is on a hidden
camera show.
Once he has been persuaded to enter the
vehicle, and told that he won’t have to pay a
dime for the ride, his attitude turns to one of
grateful disbelief. He turns out to be a reason-
ably sober young salesman for the LazyTown
production company, and we get to talking
about the future development of the show.
“What most people don’t realise is that
you can only recoup about 40% of the produc-
tion cost of a series like this from TV revenue.
We’re about to start releasing the merchan-
dise, though, and that’s where the big bucks
are.”
Intrigued, and considering some new
stock purchases, we bid him farewell and head
back downtown to hunt for more customers.
Next to brave the Grapevinemobile is a
tediously sober brother and sister team, on
their way to their respective homes after a
crazy night of buying sub sandwiches and
Diet Coke. “I’m sorry, we’re boring,” says the
brother. “But I offer your readers this piece
of advice: go to Nonnabiti and order a turkey
sub. Here’s the trick, though: tell him to hold
the pineapple. That’s like, the perfect sub.”
Driving past Lækjartorg around 4 am,
Hafliði points out six giggling blondes playing
football in skimpy outfits. “Only in Iceland,”
he chuckles. The next pair of customers turn
out to be of a fairly typical Icelandic variety,
as well: a somewhat inebriated worker for the
power company and his sober friend who is
a college student in Canada. “I put up light
posts. I also take them down,” says the drunk
guy. Asked who got the honour of removing
the light post that got in the way of former
local council candidate Eyþór Arnalds and
ended his political career, the reply was unex-
pected. “Oh, we’re gonna leave it, at least part
of it has to stay. That thing is like a historical
monument, a true legend in this business, we
talk about the irony of it all the time. You see,
that lamp post wasn’t even supposed to be
there that day.”
Hafliði and I look at each other in be-
wilderment at the apparent Clerks reference,
before asking for the story from the begin-
ning. “Well, that thing was a death trap. You
wouldn’t believe how many people managed
to wrap their cars around it without having
had a drop to drink. We were supposed to
take it down a week before the accident, but
some other projects got held up and we fell
behind on the schedule. When we finally get
around to finishing the job we were doing, we
get word that some poor bastard ran into the
lamp post of death while under the inf luence
– effectively ending his political career and
blowing an entire council election for the
Independence Party. Ooops.”
On that fascinating note the conversation
ends and it’s back to the line to offer more
rides. On the way, Hafliði tells me about some
of the things he has been asked to transport,
instead of people. “Sometimes we pick up
groceries for older people, and we deliver a lot
of presents, envelopes and f lowers, that sort
of thing. On the more unusual side, we also
bring people quite a few forgotten cell phones
and keys, but even if we don’t have the keys
people ask us to break into their houses when
they’re locked out. I’ve had to crawl through
windows before. There’s also a surprising
number of severe alcoholics that can afford to
call for a taxi to bring them booze, cigarettes
– even rubbing alcohol.”
Our next guest isn’t a severe alcoholic,
but he looks a bit tipsy. He methodically,
and thoughtfully, finishes his hot dog before
stepping into the car. “All my friends are pus-
sywhipped,” he tells us in a dejected tone. “We
went out drinking together, like old times,
and they all just bailed on me to go home to
their women before 5 am. It’s sad.”
It doesn’t take long for his mind to wander
from the evils of women to the delights of the
opposite sex, though. At the next red light
he looks over at the taxi to our left, which
happens to be occupied by a pretty young lady,
and – in his best impression of a Hezbollah
negotiator – demands that Hafliði facilitate
some kind of passenger exchange. “If you were
a real taxi driver, and a real man, you would
pick up that radio and tell the other driver to
hand over the girl. Or, you know, I could go
over to her taxi – whatever works for her.”
Thwarted in his efforts at high-speed
copulation, the passenger resigns himself to
strategising in the back seat as we quietly
listen to his theories on human courtship.
“You know what’s the best time to get laid,
for a single guy? The first weekend in August.
Trust me, it’s gold. Never fails. I think that’s
when all the single mothers get their benefit
payments or something, because downtown
suddenly fills up with these packs of horny
girls in their twenties and thirties – many of
whom you’ve never seen at the bars before.
I’m telling you man, it’s truly something to
behold, and to experience.”
As we get closer to this lively young man’s
destination, he suggests we spice up the ride,
and my article, by ramming a police car that
is in front of us. When we decline, he decides
we’re boring and staggers towards his house
to get some sleep. It’s well after 5 am and the
Grapevine’s taxi budget is rapidly running
out, but we have time for one more drunken
soul. That soul shows up in the form of a
quiet, drunken man in his late twenties. After
taking some time to think about the setup he
starts to become more vocal, pitching some
less than stellar ideas for the article. “See that
ambulance? Where is it going? Where has it
been? I don’t know. That is for the journalist
to ponder.”
We try to turn the conversation to
something a little more productive and a little
less tedious by asking if he finds it prohibi-
tively expensive to take taxis from downtown
Reykjavík to his home in Hafnarfjörður every
weekend. “No more expensive than renting
some tiny apartment in 101 Reykjavík,” is the
curt reply from the proud Gaflari, or Hafnar-
fjörður native.
Now our time is definitely up, but on the
way back to Reykjavík Hafliði shares some
thoughts on the nightlife. “This was an aver-
age night, and we saw a lot of people looking
for the same thing but no one finding it. Peo-
ple generally don’t seem to enjoy themselves as
much as they expect beforehand, or remember
later. But, hey, what else are they going to
do?” He tells me that the job of a taxi driver
is a demanding one, and finding time for
yourself and your family is a constant problem.
As he pulls up outside my house, my final
question is regarding the abolishment of laws
governing maximum rates for taxis. “Nothing
has changed, I doubt anything will change.
Nobody wants to overcharge people and I
don’t know anyone that supported this move.
In any case, changing a meter to raise your
rates is no small technical matter, and who on
earth is going to pay the mandatory 150,000
krónur fee for that – just to price themselves
out of the market?”
The Grapevine would like to thank the taxi
service BSR-5610000 for their help in making
this article possible, and Hafliði for being an
entertaining and informative guide.
Follow This Cab
Political intrigue, marketing exploits and sexual frustration in a hired car
by gunnar hrafn jónsson photo by skari
Akranes
Akranes is a picturesque town just moments away from the Reykjavík City centre. You can
actually take the city bus from Reykjavík to Akranes, using your Reykjavík visitors' card, and
step off in Akranes within an hour. It doesn't get easier - or cheaper - and you have a full day
of fun ahead of you! Akranes is a beautiful town, sheltered by Mt. Akrafjall, which is
actually quite easy to climb, if you are into mountain climbing. All year long Langisandur
Beach is an outdoor paradise as there is little that is as good for body and soul as to walk
along the shore, soak up the aroma of the sea, and lose all sense of the daily grind in the
gentle lapping of the waves or the rhythm of the surf. Then there is the Akranes Museum
Area; a collection of four museums and one of the biggest tourist attractions in West Iceland,
where you can see and learn all there is to know about Icelandic culture, Icelandic rocks and
stones and also the history and highlights of sports in Iceland.
Welcome to
-for a perfect day at a minimum cost!
The Akranes Tourist Information Centre
Tel: 431 5566 - E-mail: museum@museum.is www.visitakranes.is
Hornafjörður is a thriving community in the realm of Vatnajökull. Besides the
spectacular nature and a view beyond compare, the traveller will fi nd various
services and recreation such as hotels, restaurants, camping, shopping,
swimming, glacier tours, a golf course, museums and exhibitions, etc.
Hornafjörður is a paradise for the hiker, and the locals are proud of their wide
choice of walking trails.
The Glacier Exhibition in Höfn was reopened
after signifi cant renovations in June 2005.
The aim of the Exhibition is to communicate
knowledge in various ways about the country’s
nature as well as offering tourists interesting
recreation all year around. The Exhibition
is open on weekdays from October to April.
From the beginning of May until the end of
September it’s open every day. Apart from
regular opening hours the Exhibition can be
opened on request.
Glacier Exhibition
in Höfn
www.joklasyning.is
Experience Viking-Age Reykjavík at the
new Settlement Exhibition. The focus of
the exhibition is an excavated longhouse
site which dates from the 10th century
AD. It includes relics of human
habitation from about 871, the oldest
such site found in Iceland.
Multimedia techniques bring Reykjavík’s
past to life, providing visitors with
insights into how people lived in the
Viking Age, and what the Reykjavík
environment looked like to the first
settlers.
The Settlement Exhibition 871±2
is located at Aðalstræti 16.
Reykjavík City Museum
www.reykjavik871.is
Step into
the Viking Age
“If you were a real taxi driver, and a real man, you
would pick up that radio and tell the other driver to
hand over the girl. Or, you know, I could go over to her
taxi – whatever works for her.”
stories40