Reykjavík Grapevine - 08.01.2010, Blaðsíða 4

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4
Letters
Sour grapes
and stuff
Reykjavík
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We're not gonna lie to you: we really love us some beers.
Some folks would call it a problem, but beer never gave
us any problems. In fact, over the years, it's solved most
of 'em. A frosty glass of cold, frothy, bubblicious, golden-
tinted beer has consistently failed to let us down. In the
immortal words of Homer J. Simpson: "Mmm... Beer..."
Now, since we're real pleasant and giving folks here
at the Grapevine, we thought we'd share some of that
wonderful FREYJA BEER with you, our readers. Until
the end of days (or our FREYJA-sponsorship program,
whichever comes first), we will reward one MOST
EXCELLENT LETTER with a case of the Freyja. You read
right. A full case of Freyja. At your disposal. For drinking
(and did we mention that Freyja is pretty much our
favourite beer these days? Because it is. No lie!).
MOST AWESOME LETTER:
Hello Haukur,
As a person interested in the financial fate of Iceland, as we all are, may I be so bold as to
outline a possible solution to the present crisis: Use the big green houses to grow high grade
marijuana.
Yes, it sounds like a joke, but I am actually quite serious. The government would have to
pass a bill to legalise the stinky weed, and we would have to employ some of those jail birds
who have recently had their harvests confiscated for their knowledge and skills.
I am not a cannabis smoker and I do not personally condone drug taking of any kind. I do
believe there are health risks and possibly some psychological risks associated with smoking
cannabis... we could get into a long debate about why alcohol is legal, but that is not the point
of this proposal.
With this proposal, we simply advertise Iceland as a 'Free Weed State' and sell bags of
Northern Lights to the tourists. I am confident that tourism will double and the sales of the
weed will undoubtedly put the country on the road to recovery quicker than you could say 'Skin
up'.
Alternatively, we could just sell chunks of our nature to foreign power companies so there
is no nature left for our children.
I am hopeful that this idea will be taken seriously, but I am afraid it will only be met with
fearful closed minds who think that it is the devil's weed and that it will start raining fire and
brimstone. Let's face it, it probably will rain fire and brimstone anyway.
Many thanks for taking the time to read this, if you are in the neighborhood and fancy a
cup of tea, just pop by.
TaDa
Tony
Hey Tony,
y’know, in all seriousness, this might actually be a pretty good idea you’re espousing here.
There’s not a fucking chance in hell it’ll be entertained by the powers that be for even a second,
but that’s the case with most novel ideas anyway.
One often wonders what would happen if we made cannabis legal overnight. Our experi-
ence with how Icelanders take to fads and novelties leads us to imagine that the whole country
would be stoned out of its collective mind for a month or so, before growing bored with it and
moving on to the next foot massage unit or yo-yo or something. It’s hard to imagine a lot of
cannabis-causalities hopelessly laying around like driftwood all over 101. Alright, your idea just
won you some beer. We hope you’re happy. If uhm... the government reads this and decides to
go for it, we’ll happily give you a second one.
Dear Grapevine,
I am grieved at the way Iceland is being
treated. I cannot believe that if Scotland had its
independence and its own voice, we would treat
a neighbour and friend in this way.
My wife and I have happy memories of
our fortnight in Hafnarfjörður. We exchanged
houses and vehicles with an Icelandic family
and we visited the interior of your great coun-
try.
Maybe one day we will work together in a
Northern Alliance with Iceland, Greenland,
the Faroes and our other Scandinavian neigh-
bours and friends. And away from Brussels
and London.
Your readers might want to pay a friendly
viisit to our best Independence for Scotland
web site: http://www.scottishdemocratical-
liance.org.uk/
Yours sincerely,
Michael Hamilton
Dear Michael,
Thank you for your letter. We are happy to hear
you enjoyed your fortnight in Hafnarfjörður,
and working in a Northern Alliance with you
Scots sounds hella cool – every single Scotsman
I’ve ever shared a pint with has been real cool
(btw – do you know Olaf Furniss? Tall hand-
some guy, curly mass of hair. He is awesome!).
Have your people contact mine, keep your law-
yer on the line – let’s do this!
Hello, i was reading your latest paper with the
information about the Icelandic santa's, a bit
child friendly but ok. About Giljagaur, there
is an adult translation for that, "að gilja konu
nágrannans" means to do your neighbors wife.
It is the old meaning of the word. Any way
thought you wanted to know, keep up the good
work.
Jón Helgi
Dear Jón Helgi,
thank you so much for passing on this perti-
nent information. Does this then mean that
Giljagaur wants all our wives? Or our neigh-
bours wives? That certainly changes our view
of the guy.
Dear Grapevine,
I wanted to drop you all a quick line or two
to thank you for another year of publications.
When we are in Iceland we are always sure to
pick up a print copy. Even though we are stuck
in Gettysburg, PA, USA, for most of the time,
we can still download the PDF version. This
year I caught up with all the back-catalogue of
issues, so I have them all in a directory on my
Mac's hard-drive. I have just had time, in be-
tween holiday preparations etc., to take a quick
look at the Christmas special. The Encyclope-
dia of Icelandic Holidays... terrific! I will have
to transpose that onto my iPhone calendar so I
can stay current.
Our next trip over to Iceland is just days
away. We are taking possession of our new
summer house, ironically in the dead of winter.
We fell in love with Iceland just over three years
ago. A decision to try and buy a summer house
was made well before the Kreppa. Our dream
of owning one became possible, due to the ex-
change rate. This year we took three trips over
in order to make it a reality. We are so excited.
Originally we stopped over on our way to
the UK, where most of my family resides.
We just fell in love with Iceland as a place. Since
then we have, in turn, fallen in love with the
people, culture, language. We are trying to
learn Icelandic, but it is tough going (we'll get
there though).
We just want to be able to get by in conver-
sation, and understand what is being said.
Anyway, I wanted to thank you guys for what
you do throughout the year. Here's wishing you
all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Cheers!
Paul H
Hey Paul,
you did what now with your iPhone cal-
endar? And the summerhouse and the what
now? Who’s in the UK? Where are my pants!?!
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!???
Anyway. Thank you for your letter dude.
It’s always nice to learn someone’s reading the
stuff we’re writing (or at least looking at it in a
thoughtful manner), in fact, it’s triple-nice. It’s
also good to hear you’ve scored yourselves a
summerhouse. Keep on keepin’ on!
Dear Grapevine,
what are the best places to smoke weed in
Iceland? that is to say, the places to most suc-
cessfully and fully enjoy and perhaps to even
amplify the effects of a good toke of Iceland's
finest agricultural product.
and heck, while you're humoring me, what
are the best places to satisfy ones munchies af-
ter wards?
High Tidings,
anon
Dear anon (if that IS your real name),
we suggest doing it at your house, as it toking
the devil’s weed is highly illegal in Iceland. Or
maybe at Tony’s house – he seems into it.
Also, any place that would successfully
amplify the effects cannabis smoking is likely
far removed from any place you can purchase
‘munchies’? In fact, you shouldn’t be smoking
anything at all. You should seek help with the
good lord Jesus and try and come to terms with
who you are.
That said, we are told that Öskjuhlíð can be al-
right if you’re staying in the city. There’s even a
gas station nearby that sells pylsur with shrimp
salad on them, and that nice chili ketchup.
Dear Sir,
There are an awful lot of citizens of other
western countries who will be very happy at the
decision of your president. We feel that our gov-
ernments have sold out to financial interests at
the cost of the everyday citizen. Iceland could
help show the rest of us by not lying down to
intimidation and threat.
Pat Ruane
Cork, Rep. of Ireland
Dear Pat,
This is an interesting point you raise. Initially
we were devastated by our president’s decision,
as we were frankly just fucking sick of the whole
Icesave debate and hoping to get on with stuff
in 2010. But it’s clear there are many interest-
ing sides to this whole debate, and the one you
point out is perhaps turning out to be the most
engaging one. The everyday citizen has indeed
taken the backseat to financial interests for far
too long. So thank you for pointing that out.