Reykjavík Grapevine - 21.05.2010, Qupperneq 4
Say your piece, voice your opinion,
send your letters to:
letters@grapevine.is
4
Letters
Sour grapes
and stuff
… is Delicious
Cooking on Earth’s
Fire …
MOST AWESOME LETTER:
I usually dont get up early in the morning being a night owl by nature but i made an exception
this morning and got out of bed before 6 a.m....driven out of bed is more like it as i was having
a nightmare...dont gettem to often but when i do if i go back to sleep i just fall right back into
the same damn nightmare right where i left off so fuck that shit i hit the deck had some kinda
breakfast then got onto the computer.
I had received a letter from a freindly computer egghead warning me not to open up any
emails from Landsbankin ´The Icelandic National Bank ' the bank i do my meager business
with. Evidently...so i was informed ...some cyber hood or gang is sending folks emails posing
as Landsbankin in order to phish peoples bank info and as a bonus you get a free virus in yr
computer that fucks it up like some kinda cyber syph or clap.
Welcome to the 21st century i thought to myself. I had already grasped what Bill Burroughs
was onto about words or the WORD being a virus that mutates and evolves. I stopped getting
f lu shots years ago...last time i had a f lu shot it gave me the f lu...f lu viruses , biological viruses
are quick to mutate and evolve...if we concoct a shot to block a strain of f lu the virus eventually
fiqures out how to get past it...it mutates...it evolves...spanish f lu , monkey f lu , bird f lu , goat
f lu , pig f lu , f lu f lu and so on.
Guess what? This is the way it works in the cyber world as well...yeah i´m gonna hack you
up bitch!!! cyber hood drools on his keyboard concocts a computer f lu that will eventually eat
his own computer...Matrix? Ha!!! Just wait and see what happens when the virus gets into his
brain/biological computer...welcome to the 21st century where we rely more and more on com-
puter technology. We are advancing so fast in this game many of us thought the whole thing
was gonna collapse year 2000 sending airlines , satelites , rockets , communication systems
into a state of chaos.
I was so stoned on new years eve 2000 that i thought to myself ' This is so cool. ' I climbed
up on the largest hill in Reykjavik just before midnight to have the best possible view when all
hell breaks loose but alas midnight passed by with nary a bang nor whimper.
Maybe i will live to see the great cyber plague , the collapse of so called modern civiliza-
tion, the developement of telepathic communication wiping out the word and the lie...perhaps
even a cure for aids the birth of a new sexual revolution...i think that’s what they called it back
in the sixties hahaha!!!!!! Evolution , revolution...who thinks up this stuff ? THE BIG BANG
theory....
The Cosmic Orgasm...Le Petite Morte...all this is way to much to think about. My biologi-
cal hard drive only has so many bytes and i need all of them just to walk , breathe , make coffee,
tie my shoes etc.
Do let me know if you hear about any new viruses. I´d like to know before it outsmarts us...
mutates , evolves...Jeeeeeeeez is it possible that WE are a virus!?* Ok , Ok....i gotta cut this out
now...i need to chill , kick back and defrag.
Michael Odin Pollock
Brother M
www.myspace.com/michaeldeanodinpollock
Dear Michael,
As anyone can tell you, immunisations will give you a little flu. Maybe you just have a shitty immune
system? Anyway, you should probably get more sleep. You seem a little opposed to legal pharmaceu-
ticals, so may we suggest some nice herbal tea?
But listen man, we love the rant. It still sounds like you’ve been reading too many William Gibson
novels. There is probably a long way to go before all the TechWars and CyberPlagues and interweb
hoodlums take over all our lives (unless Facebook is planning a new widget or something), so don’t
be so freaked out all the time. Chill out with some free beer instead.
BTW, Isn’t this like the second time you score free beer off us? Good job, Pollock!
Dear Sirs:
I am writing you to find out how I can write
the poor gentleman who had to put his hors-
es to sleep, in the article, "We Are Drowning
In Ash". His name is Finnur Tryggvason. I
wish to send him my condolences and how
terribly sorry I am for his misfortune. It is
obvious from the photos that those horses
were adored and were beautiful, and I can-
not imagine a more awful thing to have to do
than to put them to sleep. If you could for-
ward me his email, or his physical address,
so I could send him my thoughts, I would ap-
preciate it. I live in Anchorage, Alaska, and
have volcanoes close by to where I live. We
had Mt Redoubt erupt last spring, and I had
to keep my 3 cairn terrier dogs inside.
I am so sorry for all the suffering of
your people in Iceland regarding the volca-
nic eruption. I hope that the lifestock losses
are not great, and are minimal. I extend my
friendship and prayers to those hurting,
and that I wish them to know that there are
those in the United States who are praying
for them, and that they are not going through
this experience alone.
Very truly yours,
Rebecca T Janelli
Dear Rebecca,
Thank you for your letter and for your concern.
We have received several letters like yours since
the eruption made world news, and we must say
that each and every one of them is very touch-
ing, as these are heartfelt and emphatic missives
that sorta make one believe there is hope yet (the
fact that pretty much not a single human was
harmed by the eruption is beside the point – it’s
the thought that counts).
We can’t really give you Finnur’s address
(curious folks may read the article in question
on our website), but maybe he’ll stumble upon
this issue and drop us a line.
In any case, thank you and everyone else
who’s written in with their concerns and wor-
ries. They mean a lot, and make clear that we
should all strive to care more about one another
and offer warm thoughts across oceans during
times of trouble.
LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE
Will be studying listfræði at HÍ next year.
YOU ARE A VALUABLE RESOURCE, SIRS
AND MADAMS. And I enjoy reading you
after being yelled at by bosses and art dealers
and various wealthy people.
David Nogman
Dear David,
Why are y’all getting yelled at by so many folks?
We don’t know what you do, but it sounds
like coming here for school will be a welcome
change. Icelanders never yell at each other. Ha.
Plus, all the wealthy people here are getting
put in jail or have Interpol warrants out for their
arrest. It’s pretty funny, at least if you work at a
listings magazine and don’t have a nickel to your
name. LOVE YOU TOO!
Editor:
I'd always wanted to visit Ijsland (blame Jules
Verne for that), and finally took the opportu-
nity for a few days this month. I didn't get
out of Reykjavik very much, but your wonder-
ful city and its people were a thrill. I have
a new hip, and central Reykjavik's size and
navigability were perfect for me...not to men-
tion the food and very good Ijslandic beers. I
was saddened to read in your recent issue that
your government seems to spend more time
hunting down cannabis than rogue bankers
(boy, does that sound America-local!), but it
didn't keep a fellow (we're both in our mid-
60s) in a downtown bar from slipping me a
very nice bud. I'll be back...and, by the way, I
loved Mehdi Assem's letter in that particular
number.
Arthur Wicks
Seattle
Dear Arthur,
Thank you for your most awesome letter.
Now, Did Jules Verne spell it ‘Ijsland’? How
odd. Anyway, we are glad you enjoyed your time
spent over on our island, and that you man-
aged to score some bud, even though that’s to-
tally wrong and just as bad as doing heroin and
WON’T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK ABOUT
THE CHILDREN?!? Anyway, you’ll be happy to
know some of our banksters are now in shack-
les. No bankster-coke for them anytime soon
Thanks for the interesting "interview" with
Anna the landi girl. A good read. Despite
what Anna may have said or believed, dis-
tilling is most definitely illegal, even for
personal use. Fermenting is a much greyer
area however. As best as I have been able to
deduce from the laws, it's technically illegal
to brew anything over 2.25%, but if you ring
up the police and ask, they will tell you that it
is OK to brew, but not to distill. And selling
is definitely out, regardless.
Law aside, if you're interested in continu-
ing the theme in your next, or future issues,
tomorrow night (Monday 10 May) Fágun, the
icelandic home brew society, (Or fermentol-
ogy society really, we make wine and cheese
and jogurt and things too) is having one of
their monthly meetups. It's at Vínbar, from
8pm.
Of note is that on May 1, we had the first
ever icelandic home brew competition, with
31 different beers entered into two categories,
with a judging panel including both icelan-
dic brewers and wine tasters, along with
cheese and coffee connoisseurs and even a
guest brewer f lown in from Norway. We'll be
discussing the results a bit more, and some
of the beers will be available for tasting,
which should be good fun.
Sorry for the short notice, but I only
picked up the new grapevine yesterday.
If you want more info about fágun, you
can head over to www.fagun.is
Cheers,
Karl P
Hey Karl,
thanks for the correction, smartass. DJÓK!
Anyway, your club sounds interesting as hell.
We’ll make sure to try and cover it sometime, if
we ever manage to sober up from all that illegal
landi.
MOST AWESOME LETTER
A buncha POLAR BEER for your thoughts
We're not gonna lie to you: we really love us some beers. Some folks would call
it a problem, but beer never gave us any problems. In fact, over the years, it's
solved most of 'em. A frosty glass of cold, frothy, bubblicious, golden-tinted
beer has consistently failed to let us down. In the immortal words of the once-
reputable Homer J. Simpson: "Mmm... Beer..."
Now, since we're real pleasant and giving folks here at the Grapevine, we
thought we'd share some wonderful POLAR BEER with you, our readers. Not
only that, you're also getting the gift of social life with it. So here's the deal:
our most awesome letter of each issue (henceforth, or until the good people
of POLAR BEER decide they don't want to play along anymore), we will be
providing our MOST AWESOME LETTER scribe with twelve frothy POLAR
BEERS, to be imbibed at a Reykjavík bar of their choice (so long as that bar is
either Bakkus or Venue). If y'all's letter is the one, drop us a line to collect.
Give us your worst: letters@grapevine.is
Dear friends,
I can no longer remain silent on the very pressing subject that is the
selling off of Iceland's nature.
I hereby challenge the government of Iceland to do everything in its
power to revoke the contracts with Magma Energy that entitle the
Canadian firm complete ownership of HS Orka. These are abhorrable
deals, and they create a dangerous precedent for the future. They
directly go against necessary and oft-repeated attempts to create a
new policy in the energy- and resource management of this nation.
Warmly,
Björk Guðmundsdóttir
Now, give us your worst: letters@grapevine.is
(Light)