Reykjavík Grapevine - 04.06.2010, Qupperneq 4

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4
Letters
Sour grapes
and stuff
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IN THE CAPITAL AREA
MOST AWESOME LETTER:
Hello there,
here are some poems I thought might be of
interest for your readers.

Thanks,
Hrafn

ASHLAND – ICELAND I – X were written
between 00.24 and 00.54 on May 21st 2010
in Ventspils House, Ventspils, Latvia

ASHLAND I.

There are different types of mountains
That you can choose from:
Blue mountains, red mountains
And white mountains.

The blue ones are distant
And do not deserve attention,
Only admiration.
They are docile.
The white ones are cool
And you can ski on them
They are dormant.
The red ones are furious
And have political attitudes
And sometimes they rage.
They were once white
Or blue
Or non-existent.
ASHLAND II

Who can blame the
Eyja
Fjalla
Jökull its
Fury?

It has been there for hundreds of years
In peace
And then one day
The whole of Iceland
Is gone totally wild
In depts
And its glaciers are
To be
Sold!
(Eight more poems follow…)

So how do you spell Eyesland? Iceland?
Dear Hrafn,
Thanks for the awesome one-man poetry slam!
Sorry we can’t print all your poems – they are
totally long and many, and we have interviews
with bands to run. But seriously, what an awe-
some way to spend half an hour of your night
in Latvia, honouring your homeland’s ashhole
through poetry. It’s certainly a nice change from
all the one-sided international news reports and
GEOLOGICAL LIES.
love
cutout in pieces
column-shaped
hanging like icecicles
from the edges of my desk and lurking
in secret
between pages, bookmarked
as tasty reminders
of the satiate sweetness,
the reykjavik grapevine.
Thanks for your regular poetry column. That
is a rare and precious section in a newspa-
per. After reading it for two weeks, however,
I still have no clue about what's happening
in the poetry scene in Reykjavik or the rest
of Iceland. While entertaining, Eirikur Orn
Norddahl's (sorry, my keyboard doesn't have
the Icelandic characters) past two poetry
pieces, a self-righteous rant and some ref lec-
tions on sucking, could have been printed in
any paper. How about some insight into the
poetry of your own place, some verses of your
own, even. If poetry merits a column in The
Reykjavik Grapevine, I'd like to know why.
Love,
Laura Candler
Dear Laura,
Wow, did all you poets get together and decide to
poetry-bomb us this issue? What’s the deal? But
thanks for the words, Laura.
Turn to our LAST PAGE OF CONTENT for
Eiríkur Örn Norðdahl’s (see, we’ve got all those
crazy letters on our keyboard – ððöæéáóúíÞÞÞ
- ha!) reply. He is a far better authority on Icelan-
dic poetry than we could ever hope (or particu-
larly want) to be.
Hello.
I have a link to a norwegian blog about: nor-
way and iceland should be a union. i think
you should read it at publish this in your
dailypaper. U believe that an union would
be great.
http://tomstaavi.vgb.no/2010/01/06/tilby-
island-fusjon-med-norge/
Petter Rønning
Dear Peter,
Oh really, now? Should we? We went to your
blog to find out why but it was all written in Nor-
wegian. We guess you think we should learn
Norwegian, eh? No way. So we tried to Google
Translate your page, and it came out all ‘Trans-
lation Failed’ on us. Fucking Google Translate.
So we can’t really figure it out right now, BUT
we’re guessing it runs along the same lines as
the last missive y’all Norwegians used to TRICK
US INTO BEING A COLONY FOR SEVEN
HUNDRED FUCKING YEARS, some seven
hundred years ago. Except that one probably
wasn’t posted on a blog. Then again, what do
we know – maybe they had blogs back then?
We’ve already forgotten all about the blogs that
were written in the early noughties, so it isn’t
totally ludicrous to imagine that blogs written
in the late 13th century would be long forgotten
by now.
Anyway, in the immortal words of CSI: Miami –
“Won’t get foooooooled again!”
I have just finished Bart Cameron’s Inside
Reykjavik – The Grapevine Guide, it has
pointed me to a place I knew only as a distant
Island….I lived on Kodiak Island….a bit south
in the latitudes but did have an opportunity
to walk on and over the Beaufort Sea during
December….so I have seen the Moon circle
the sky.

Hello to you in Iceland I will say hello to Bart
for you…if you ever make to the US and the
state of WA…look me up, albeit I will not
be able to serve putrefied shark and soured
Ram’s testicles….I will be able to provide a
suitable spread of surf and turf.

Regards,

Phil Yaklich
Duvall, WA
Dear Phil,
Thank you for your letter, and your kind words
about Bart Cameron’s most excellent Grapevine
Guide (which y’all should seek out and read if
you haven’t already).
This whole seeing the moon circling the sky
thing sounds very cool. Very few people on this
overpopulated ball-o-mud have gotten to see
that natural phenomenon. Hi-five yourself!
And thanks for the dinner invite. Trust us, we
would just as well gorge on surf and turf as rot-
ten shark and balls. In fact, some surf and turf
sounds mighty appetizing right now. Damnit,
now we’re hungry!
My wife, Alicia Wilson, who played for KR in
2006 and 2007 is back in Iceland to play this
season. She travelled with our daughter Ki-
ana Esja who is almost two years old. I know
they both will love the experience.
Unfortunaltely I was unable to travel with
them this time, I want to wish KR a great
season.
Áfram KR.
Oscar E. Lopez
Dear Oscar,
That is so cool!
For y’all readers who don’t know, KR – or Knatt-
spyrnufélag Reykjavíkur – is the oldest, most
respected, most fervently hated football club in
Iceland. So playing with them is really like be-
ing part of an institution. A hated institution,
maybe, but an institution all the same (kind of
like working at Tollstjóri or Útlendingastofnun).
Too bad you couldn’t make it over here, but we’re
sure the boys and girls of KR appreciate your
vote of confidence.
(Light)
MOST AWESOME LETTER
A buncha POLAR BEER for your thoughts
We're not gonna lie to you: we really love us some beers. Some folks would
call it a problem, but beer never gave us any problems. In fact, over the years,
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Now, since we're real pleasant and giving folks here at the Grapevine, we
thought we'd share some wonderful POLAR BEER with you, our readers.
Not only that, you're also getting the gift of social life with it. So here's the
deal: our most awesome letter of each issue (henceforth, or until the good
people of POLAR BEER decide they don't want to play along anymore),
we will be providing our MOST AWESOME LETTER scribe with twelve frothy
POLAR BEERS, to be imbibed at a Reykjavík bar of their choice (so long as
that bar is either Bakkus or Venue). If y'all's letter is the one, drop us a line to
collect. Give us your worst: letters@grapevine.is