Reykjavík Grapevine - 20.05.2011, Qupperneq 4

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letters@grapevine.is
4
Letters
Sour grapes
and stuff MOST AWESOME LETTERFREE GRAPEVINE TEE HEE HEE!
We’ve got a new prize for all your MOST AWESOME LETTERS. And it’s a scorcher! For this
issue, whoever sends THE MOST AWESOME LETTER will receive a cool new Reykjavík
Grapevine T-shirt, featuring the majestic G that adorns our cover. So you should make sure to
keep writing us fun and/or interesting letters.
This new Grapevine tee surely is the shiznit (whatever that means)! It was designed by
our very own art director man, Hörður Kristbjörnsson, and it’s good for posing in front of a
mirror, impressing folks with your impeccable taste or picking up men or women of all ages
(no minors). DON’T PANIC if your letter wasn’t picked AWESOME LETTER. You can still get a
tee for a low, low price over our website, www.grapevine.is
Now, if you're in the market for free goodies next month, write us some sort of letter.
Give us your worst: letters@grapevine.is
MOST AWESOME LETTER:
Dear editor
I travelled across the world in search of TAR-
GETS FOR DEREGULTION. And in 2009 i ar-
rived in northeast iceland, and found a perfect
target for NEOLIBERAL DEREGULATION.
The target I have found in NORTHEAST ICE-
LAND for Deregulation, Is RAUFARHOFN. i
THINK raufarhofn could be a perect example
of NEOLIBERAL DEREGULATION. i think
that the icelandic government should deregu-
late raufarhofn, to stimulate GROWTH IN
THE REGIONAL ECONOMY.
I think you need to dergulate the fishing indus-
try in raufarhofn, impose an exemption on the
icelandic fisheries management laws. give the
fisherman a chance agsin t the imposition of
LAW from the centre.
all those malformed over size fish, star wars
type. you can end the spectre of oversized star
wars esque fish. by imposing DEREGULA-
TION OF THE FISHERIES MANAGEMENT
LAWS ON RAUFARHOFN
ours sincerely
mr C. Jarvis
Vitebsk, Belarus

Dear Mr. C. Jarvis,

thank you for your nice letter.

What a great idea you have! Have you tried
pitching it to the University of Iceland? They
seem happy to fund research into these areas,
as their undying support of ‘Godfather Of Ice-
landic Neoliberalism’, Hannes Hólmsteinn
Gissurarson (funnily enough, a government
worker his whole life) will attest. Perhaps you
should write them and offer your services in
teaching courses such as ‘How Iceland Can
Become The Richest Nation On Earth 101’ and
‘There’s No Such Thing As A Free Lunch Un-
less Your Friends Own The Government That
In Turn Runs All The Cafeterias In Which
Case You Are Hooked Up With Free Lunch For
Life And Maybe Even Dinner 101’. It’s certainly
worked for others of your persuasion.

Hello, halló
a message from holland
to pay back to the Netherlands and Great Brit-
ain is the biggest nonsense!!
There are many reasons why you do not have
to repay. (a few:)
Iceland and its inhabitants are not responsible
for a private bank.
Iceland and its inhabitants are not responsible
for speculators (of any kind)
Holland is one of the richest countries in the
world, (thanks exploitation and oppression ....)
(Holland has a large debt to many countries,
many people (for centuries)....)
If Holland's position would be like Iceland,
(Holland "must" repay ....), Holland would
NEVER pay back.
Icelanders persist!
Do not pay!
with friendly greetings and respect for your
obstinacy,
from a dutchman,
jaap
I do not know if the following text is translated
correctly ....
(via translate.google) (eng.> Icelandic)
skilaboð frá Hollandi
að borga aftur til Hollands og Bretlands er
stærsta bull!
Það eru margar ástæður fyrir því að þú þarft
ekki að endurgreiða. (nokkrar:)
Ísland og íbúa þess eru ekki ábyrgir fyrir eink-
arekinn banka.
Ísland og íbúa þess eru ekki ábyrgir fyrir
spákaupmenn (af einhverju tagi)
Holland er eitt af ríkustu löndum heims, (takk
arðráni og kúgun ....)
(Holland hefur stór skuld til margra landa,
margir (margar aldir )....)
Ef staðsetning Holland myndi vera eins og Ís-
lands, (Holland "að" endurgreiða ....), Holland
myndi ALDREI borga aftur.
Íslendingar eru viðvarandi!
Borga ekki!
með vingjarnlegur kveðjur og virðingu fyrir
obstinacy þinn,
frá Hollendingnum
Dear Jaap,
thank you so much for your letter, your words of
encouragement and your Icelandic translation
(which is oddly correct in all its oddness).
You make some fair points. We’re not sure if we
agree with you all the way, in fact we’ve been
trying our darndest to forget all about Icesave
and everything to do with it (because, uhm,
no matter how many times we vote on it, we’re
pretty sure the rich will keep getting richer
while the rest of us will keep getting poorer/
more indebted. This seems to be a running
theme the world over).
Is our being all sick of Icesave and the debate
surrounding it an irresponsible position?
Maybe. We are mostly people in our early-to-
late-twenties, and no one seems to care what
we think anyway. Media devoted to our target
market is mostly dedicated to various people’s
abs, buttocks and sex lives (and video games).
Is that our lazy generation’s own damn fault?
Probably. Anyway, yeah, Icesave!
Thanks again for a fun letter!
PS – do you think we could make money by
‘legalizing it’? Has Holland’s ‘legalizing it’ paid
off?
Hello!

Norway calling, hoping for some help.

In 1973 there was a volcano outburst at the
Vestamannaøyene. That summer a young girl
from this island went to Norway and stayed
with my family for the summer holiday. The
last time we heard from her was in 1993, and
now we really would like to get in touch with
here.

Can you help?

Her name is Sigríður Guðjónsdóttir, she is
close to 50 years old. She has a daughter, Heid-
run (born 1988) an a son, Òli (born 1989).
In 1993 her address was Laugaràsveg 53, 104
Reykjavik.

Sincerely
Anette Gultvedt
+47 99 23 89 72
Dear Norway,
funny you should ask our help now! WHERE
WERE YOU WHEN ALL OUR BANKS COL-
LAPSED? WAIT, DON’T TELL US, WE KNOW
DAMN WELL WHERE YOU WERE! YOU
WERE ROLLING AROUND IN ALL YOUR
FANCY OIL MONEY, GOING ON TELE-
MARK TRIPS AND BEING ALL HEALTHY!
AND NOW YOU EXPECT US TO ‘HELP’
YOU? WHAT A JOKE!
Djók! Anette, really, that was a joke! We would
love to help you out! Do any of y’all have contact
information for the Sigríður Guðjónsdóttir in
question? We tried já.is-ing her, to no avail!
Yes and thank you for your nice letter.
Hi,
What happened to Dr. Gunni's History of Ice-
landic Rock music articles? I haven't seen one
in your fine publication for a while now.
Best,
Mark II
Dear Mark II!
Thank you for your nice letter. We asked Dr.
Gunni WTF was up! He wrote: “Sorry for not
delivering, but I've just been too busy finish-
ing the new edition of the Iceland Rock/Pop
history book. It's almost done, so the articles
in Grapevine will return soon. The book, Stuð
stuð stuð, is gonna be huge, about 500 pages or
something, and chock full of stuð. It will come
out in the autumn.
Ok bye, Dr. Gunni
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Hótel Holt · Bergstaðastræti 37 · 101 Reykjavík · 552 5700 · galler y@holt.is · w w w.holt.is