Reykjavík Grapevine - 29.07.2011, Blaðsíða 4

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Sour
grapes
& stuff
MOST AWESOME LETTER
FREE ICELANDIC GOURMET FEAST
There's prize for all your MOST AWESOME LETTERS.
And it’s a scorcher! No, really! It's a goddamn scorcher
is what it is! Whoever sends us THE MOST AWESOME
LETTER this issue will receive A FRIGGIN GOURMET
FEAST FOR TWO at Tapas Barinn.
Did you hear that? Write in and complain about
something (in an admirable way), win a gourmet feast at one of Reykjavík's finest? THIS IS
THE DEAL OF THE CENTURY IS WHAT IT IS!
What's in a 'lobster feast'? Well, one has to assume that it has lobster-a-plenty. Is there
more? Probably, but still... Gourmet feast? Wow! DON’T PANIC if your letter wasn’t picked
AWESOME LETTER. There's always next month!
Now, if you're in the market for free goodies next month, write us some sort of letter.
Give us your worst: letters@grapevine.is
MOST AWESOME LETTER:
Dear Mr. Gíslason
I feel compelled to write to you after experi-
encing an extraordinarily disappointing din-
ner and evening at Dill last Friday.
After reading the feature article on your res-
taurant in the Grapevine I reserved a table
for 3, one week ahead of time, to take our Ice-
landic host out for a fabulous meal as a thank
you for all the generosity that she had shown
us over the previous 2 weeks.
When we arrived for our 8pm booking
we were given a table for 2 near the door with
an extra setting squeezed onto the table.
The extra seat was placed so that its back was
facing the window. Clearly the most promi-
nent feature in the layout of your restaurant
is the grand view of the city that your din-
ing room offers. Our host insisted that she
take the awkwardly positioned seat. Having
booked one week ahead it is very odd that we
were first, not given a proper table for 3 and
second, that our table was so poorly situated.
As this dinner was a thank you to her, we
were not off to a good start.
Next, before offering us a menu or ex-
plaining how the dinner would proceed we
were told that we would be starting with
champagne to accompany our first and sec-
ond course. I have to say that yours is the
first restaurant that I have been to that dic-
tated what I was going to drink and eat – no
choice! I have been to restaurants where the
chef offers a menu of his own design that
changes daily depending on his own creative
desires and the quality of ingredients avail-
able, but here I felt that the “package” was
being shoved down my throat.
The miniscule teaspoon size mix of a
layered sauce-like concoction with herbs
delivered as a whole first course was beyond
absurdity, as was the second so-called course
that was not much bigger in size, but includ-
ed the 2 smallest shrimp I have ever seen in
my life. Our friend is allergic to shrimp, so
her plate was taken away and the offending
twosome was removed. I find this a very
interesting way to deal with customers that
have food allergies. They just get less.
Then the menu arrived. We finally had
some say in what we were to paying to eat!
Fair enough, there were 3 course combina-
tions available, but when we asked for a
drink combination different than what was
being recommended, we had the feeling that
we had been bad children and we would be
punished. We were punished – our glasses
of wine were poured noticeably shorter than
those of the tables beside us.
A word about our waiter, I would expect
that a restaurant of this quality would hire
only confident, experienced waiters. Our
waiter seemed to be in training. He was
nervous, and his hand shock as he poured
our glasses.
None of the courses were particularly
fantastic or satisfying. The combinations
were overly complicated and as a result,
many of the subtle flavours were lost. We
were forced to rely too heavily on a soberly
delivered list of ingredients announced at
the beginning of each course to know (and
it seems be impressed by) what we were
indeed eating. It was too difficult to get all
of the different parts of each serving on a
fork or spoon to enjoy the full force of the
intended combination of flavours. The #14
cheese that was buried in the mix of one of
the courses was completely lost. A thin slice
at the side of the plate, that we could cut from
to add to our mix, would have at least allowed
us to appreciate its uniqueness.
In summation, the whole experience
was uncomfortable, unsatisfying and un-
enjoyable at a very inflated cost. There was
more attitude served up than good food. The
true beauty and sensuality that should be the
experience of a wonderful meal in a wonder-
ful setting was totally lacking.
Sincerely
Lyn Carter

Dear Lyn Carter,
we’re sorry that you had such a miserable
dining experience at Dill. Maybe you’ll like
Tapas better.
Hi,
can I have the gourmet meal because my
friend's a vegan so I could eat her lobster too.
Finland loves lobsters,
Kisse.
Dear Kisse,
would you take your vegan friend out for lob-
ster? And then eat hers too? That sounds far
more gluttonous than awesome!
For the past 3 years I’ve been pretty into
paranormal activity. I’ve spoken to dozens
of people who have been visited by spirits,
or seen ghosts, but one conversation I had
with an Icelander left me bewildered. I’m
an American (and proud of it), and I don’t
believe in silly things like “The Easter Bun-
ny”, “Santa Claus”, or “God”. However, I do
believe in spirits. When a human leaves
the physical body, he/she enters a spiritual
world. Once the spiritual world is entered,
the spirit has a CHOICE whether or not it
wants to make contact with other physical
beings. I’ve noticed this typically happens
in cases where there is some sort of unfin-
ished business (murders, car accidents, sui-
cides, overdoses, etc). Now, to be clear, this
whole concept of “evil demons”, “angels”,
“exorcisms”, and “Jehovah’s Witness” makes
absolutely no sense because where did these
creatures come from to begin with? They
can’t exist in the spiritual world if there was
no physical human in the beginning. And
this isn’t my opinion, it’s physics: Matter
cannot be created nor destroyed. This is
where I get confused. I respect the Icelan-
dic people, I have at least one friend that’s
a quarter Icelandic, but the concept of “hid-
den people” or “Huldufolk” defies logic. I’ve
read the Wikipedia article, but I still don’t
understand where these people (or elves)
came from? How can they exist if there was
no mortal being? Surely not all Icelanders
believe in this rubbish. I’d love to hear an
opinion on this or an explanation where the
“hidden people” originated.
God Bless,
XPIII
(Xavier Steven Prolish III)
Dear XPIII,
Thank you for your letter! Though I have to
say, it's a little hard to follow your logic here.
Leaving aside the easy pot-shot of pointing
out the irony of a spiritualist calling belief
in huldufólk “rubbish” (ever see that one
episode of Peep Show where Mark is dating
that woman who thinks New Age beliefs are
bullshit, but firmly believes in the power
of crystal skulls? Great episode, that one),
you rest your dismissal of the existence of
huldufólk on physics, pointing to Albert Ein-
stein's assertion that matter cannot be cre-
ated or destroyed.
To this, I have to say: huh? Huldufólk
cannot exist because they would have had
to come from nowhere, and this defies the
laws of physics? This makes little sense.
Huldufólk, according to legend, are simply
another species that have co-existed with hu-
man beings since before we can remember.
They did not appear out of thin air, anymore
more than other living things on this planet,
and therefore they did not come out of “noth-
ing”.
There is just as much empirical evidence
for the existence of huldufólk as there is for
the existence of ghosts and spirits. Which is
to say: none. So rest assured, your beliefs are
no more nor less rubbish than that of people
who believe in elves.