Reykjavík Grapevine - 01.06.2012, Blaðsíða 4

Dear Cod Wars,
Are you familiar with the Icelandic
phrase “farðu ekki að grenja”?
Unfortunately it played on repeat in my
head from around the middle of your
piece “Icelanders Invade Your Personal
Space” and all the way to the end. This
was a real shame, because it was excel-
lently written and very funny. You obvi-
ously have a gift for writing. I just wish
you would put your superpowers to bet-
ter use.
I can understand that a lot of Icelandic
mannerisms and customs can seem
foreign and downright rude to you.
That generally happens where there is a
clash of cultures. However, a good rule-
of-thumb is that “When in Rome...”
You don‘t go to a foreign country and,
pardon my language, shit all over their
customs and mannerisms because they
are different from what you are used to
back home. It is rude and disrespectful.
I particularly enjoyed your choice of
words for “yet another peasant farmer”.
You must think very highly of yourself
since you can go around judging other
people in that condescending manner.
Icelanders just don‘t need as much per-
sonal space as you do. It is a cultural
difference that you will just have to get
used to if you are going to continue to
live here.
That being said, bumping into someone
and not apologizing is not the general,
accepted Icelandic behaviour. I am Ice-
landic and I always apologize if I bump
into someone, and would find it rude
not to. I even apologize when someone
bumps into me! Might I suggest that
your uncouth friend from the airport
was just plain rude and it, in fact, had
nothing to do with his nationality?
I do so hope that you will try to be more
accepting to the cultural behaviour of
the country you yourself choose to live
in. After all, unless you walk around
wearing a sign saying “Keep away, I‘m
English,” random strangers have no
idea that you are uncomfortable with
their Icelandic behaviour. And perhaps
*they* shouldn‘t have to adjust *their*
behaviour...
All the best,
Food for Thought
Dear Food For Thought (if that IS your
real name),
thank you for your letter. You make a
fair point. So fair, in fact, that we’ve de-
cided to bestow upon you not one but
TWO pairs of woollen socks to reward
your efforts in standing up for the op-
pressed, uncivilized masses that inhabit
this desolate rock of an island. Surely
Mr. Cod Wars just doesn’t understand
that we need all the physical contact we
can get, being born and raised in this
most sparsely populated corner of Eu-
rope. It’s just the way it is. We go around
touching one another without asking
permission. It’s sexy. It makes us feel
good. Yum.
Also yeah, “farðu ekki að grenja” (“don’t
be a crybaby” for all you whiny English-
men reading this) no doubt ran through
the minds of other local readers as they
engulfed Mr. Wars’ rant.
However, you must understand that
complaining about trivialities while
condescending locals in a foreign coun-
try is a long-standing custom of the
British Empire, dating back to when ac-
tually was an Empire (one that actively
went around the globe looking for peas-
ants to complain about, look down upon
and enslave and stöff). As you said,
“When in Rome...”
In fact, you should just be happy Mr.
Wars didn’t try to colonise you or mine
you for resources or get you hooked on
opium before complaining about your
backward tribe’s customs. Thank your
stars!
But yeah. You might also consider how
entertained you were by Mr. Wars’
article. That’s another custom of his
people: being all tongue-in-cheek and
entertaining on paper (and in real life!)
Maybe he was just trying to have fun?
Or maybe he was truly freaked out? No
one will ever know, but as long as his
writing is fun, we plan on publishing
more of it.
OK write more letters! Love you!
Say your piece, voice your
opinion, send your letters to:
letters@grapevine.is
Sour
grapes
& stuff
MOST AWESOME LETTER:
Hello.
I just saw your status on FB and
thought, maybe, if you are interested in
sharing it, this is something I could tell
you about.
http://runesframe.blogspot.com/
This is my freshly started blog about my
travels. (Starting with this post: http://
runesframe.blogspot.com/2012/05/
end-of-beginning.html)
If it matters: Iceland isn't that much of
a topic in this blog, since I am not trav-
eling Iceland. But my mom is Icelandic
and made me grow up there some time
of my life. She went back living there
and I am therefore "á klakanum" pretty
much, very much and often.
Just a thought.
Cheers and see you on FB,
Íris
Dear Íris,
thank you so much for your letter. And
also thank you for making your blog.
What the internet needs is more people
expressing themselves. That much is
clear. We read your blog and we can say
with full certainty that it isn’t any worse
than any other blog out there. It turns
out you are in Las Vegas, Nevada. That’s
pretty cool. How is Vegas? Are you lik-
ing it? Surely, it must be different from
Iceland. Or is it?
Wait, but you have left Vegas, a further
read reveals. You sure do like to travel.
We wish we could travel as much. Oh
well.
In any case, thank you for document-
ing your life and travels on your blog,
and for writing us a letter about it. It is
much appreciated.
MOST AWESOME LETTER
FREE ICELANDIC GOURMET FEAST
There's prize for all your MOST AWESOME LETTERS.
And it’s a scorcher! No, really! It's a goddamn scorcher
is what it is! Whoever sends us THE MOST AWESOME
LETTER this issue will receive A FRIGGIN GOURMET
FEAST FOR TWO at TApAS BARINN.
Did you hear that? Write in and complain about something
(in an admirable way), win a gourmet feast at one of Reykjavík's finest? THIS IS THE DEAL
OF THE CENTURY IS WHAT IT IS!
What's in a 'lobster feast'? Well, one has to assume that it has lobster-a-plenty. Is there
more? Probably, but still... Gourmet feast? Wow! DON’T pANIC if your letter wasn’t picked
AWESOME LETTER. There's always next month!
Now, if you're in the market for free goodies next month, write us some sort of letter. Give us
your worst: letters@grapevine.is

Höfðatorg Tower
105 Reykjavik
Tel: 575 7575
Opening hours:
Sun.-Wed. 11.00 – 22.00
Thu.-Sat. 11.00 – 24.00
fabrikkan@fabrikkan.is www.fabrikkan.is
BE SQUARE
AND BE THERE
THE MBURGER
Gullfoss and Geysir are surely a must-see in Iceland,
but neither is something you eat. That‘s why we have
14 brilliant and creative hamburgers at the
Hamburger Factory.
The Reykjavik Grapevine‘s Best of Reykjavik panel
awarded the Hamburger Factory “Best specialty
burger 2010“ and “Best veggie burger 2011“.
It made us happy. Because we aim to please.
The Factory offers Iceland‘s best selection of gourmet
hamburgers with a nice selection of salads, meat
courses and delicious desserts. And of course we only
use 100% fresh high-quality ingredients, directly from
the Icelandic nature.
Located on the ground floor of the highest tower
of Reykjavik, with an amazing view of Höfði,
the meeting place of Ronald Reagan and Mikhail
Gorbachev, the Hamburger Factory has been packed
with burger-craving customers since its opening in
april 2010; among the regulars is Iceland‘s best
known fisherman, Eric Clapton.
Attention: Our hamburger buns are not round.
They are square. Does it taste better? You tell us.
HOW TO GET HERE
SOME TIPS ON HOW TO GET TO US WHILE LOOKING COOL AND LOCAL
From that point on you are in good hands.
Be there or be square!
“Íslenska Hamborgarafabrikkan, takk”
(„The Icelandic Hamburger Factory, please“)
This is what you say to the taxi driver
or when asking locals for directions:
“Sælar! Hvað er að frétta”
(Hello! What‘s up)
When you arrive you tell the waiter:
“Ég er þokkalega svangur,
get ég fengið hamborgara”
(I‘m quite hungry, can I get a hamburger)