Reykjavík Grapevine - 10.05.2013, Side 18

18The Reykjavík Grapevine Issue 5 — 2013
Iceland has taken part in the Eurovision Song
Contest since 1986. Editor-in-chief of So So Gay
Magazine Lee Williscroft-Ferris takes us through the
ups and downs of the country’s Eurovision journey.
Yes, it’s that time of year again, the time when
hundreds of millions of TV viewers all over Europe
and beyond tune in to watch the camp-fest that is
the Eurovision Song Contest. This year’s edition will
take place in Malmö, Sweden, thanks to Loreen’s
victory in Azerbaijan last year with the pan-Europe-
an hit, “Euphoria.” We thought it would be good to
take a look back at Iceland’s history in the contest
before Eyþór Ingi Gunnlaugsson takes to the stage
with “Ég á Líf” in May.
WHEN DID ICELAND FIRST TAKE PART IN THE
CONTEST?
Iceland was a relative latecomer to the Eurovision
party, entering the contest for the first time in 1986.
The purported reason for the nation’s tardiness was
technical issues caused by the island’s geographical
distance from the rest of Europe.
HAS ICELAND EVER WON THE EUROVISION
SONG CONTEST?
No, although it shares this dubious ‘honour’ with
a whole raft of other countries, including Portugal,
Malta, Cyprus and Hungary. Up until 2006, it was
partnered with poor Finland as one of two Nordic
countries never to reach the top. Then, the Finns
went and won the thing with a group of masked
‘monsters.’ Rude.
SURELY ICELAND, WITH ITS VERITABLE
ROLL-CALL OF MUSICAL TALENT SUCH AS
BJÖRK, RETRO STEFSON AND GUSGUS,
HAVE NEVER EARNED THE INFAMOUS
‘NUL POINTS’.
Oh dear, funny you should say that. Iceland has
only scored zero on one occasion—in 1989. The
song in question was “"Það Sem Enginn Sér"
(“What Nobody Sees”), performed by none other
than Daníel Ágúst, now lead singer of... GusGus.
How times change.
WHO HAS DONE THEIR COUNTRY
PROUD IN THE CONTEST?
Iceland had its first sweet taste of Euro success in
1990, when the band Stjórnin came fourth in Zagreb
with the classic track “Eitt Lag Enn” (“One More
Song”). Band member Sigríður Beinteinsdóttir, aka
Sigga Beinteins, aka Sigga, aka Eurovision legend,
went on to represent Iceland twice again, once as
part of the group Heart 2 Heart who came seventh
with “Nei Eða Já’ in 1992. Then, Sigga finally took
the solo spotlight in 1994 with “Nætur” (“Nights”),
finishing in twelfth place in Dublin (Where else? It
was the mid-1990s after all).
However, two other female singers have brought
Iceland to within a cat’s whisker of bringing the
contest to Reykjavík. Selma came very close to
winning in 1999 with “All Out Of Luck” (this was the
first year that countries were allowed to sing in a
language other than their own). Unfortunately, she
was pipped at the post by a rather heavily made-up
Swedish woman with a song that sounded suspi-
ciously like an ABBA b-side. Then, in 2009, Jóhanna
came second in Moscow with “Is It True?”, although
it was left comprehensively trailing in the dust,
along with everyone else, by Norway’s Alexander
Rybak and “Fairytale.”
HAS ICELAND AVOIDED
CAUSING CONTROVERSY?
Not entirely, no. Jóhanna might have had the dress
and demeanour of an innocent little Disney ice prin-
cess in 2009 and let’s face it, you’re about as likely
to extract anything scandalous from Bo Halldórs-
son (1995) as you are to find Iceland developing
nuclear missiles. Yet, Iceland hasn’t always played
it ‘safe.’ Páll Óskar caused a storm in 1997 when
he appeared on stage in, quelle surprise, Dublin to
perform “Minn Hinsti Dans” (“My Final Dance”),
accompanied by what can only be described as four
dominatrixes, clad in fishnet stockings and leather
boots. Páll himself proceeded to stroke his thighs
before thrusting his hands southwards at a ‘strate-
gic’ point. The UK and Sweden loved it, the rest of
Europe not so much.
Zip forward nine years to 2006 and an all-time
low in Greco-Icelandic relations brought about by
one Silvía Nótt. Essentially a comedy faux diva, the
alter ego of singer and actress Ágústa Eva Erlends-
dóttir, Silvía caused uproar in Athens by swearing
at technical staff during rehearsals and behaving in
a generally offensive manner during press confer-
ences. So convincing was her act that by the time
she took to the stage in the semi-final to perform
“Congratulations,” Silvía was booed and jeered in
a vociferous manner not seen before at the contest.
She didn’t qualify. In the press conference that fol-
lowed, Silvía ‘explained’ her failure thus: “Ungrate-
ful bastards! You vote for ugly people from Finland
who don't even have a real make-up artist, and
you don't vote for me because I'm not a slut from
Holland and I'm not an ugly, f*****g old bitch from
Sweden!” Classy.
SO, ICELAND IS A ‘NEUTRAL’ COUNTRY.
THAT MUST MEAN IT DOESN’T INDULGE IN
THE ‘NEIGHBOURLY’ VOTING THE CONTEST
HAS BECOME FAMOUS FOR.
Wrong. Iceland’s voting record is clearly skewed
towards its Nordic brothers, Denmark and Norway
in particular. Fear not, the favour is almost always
returned! But when it’s not, Icelanders are deeply
offended.
WHAT ARE ICELAND’S CHANCES THIS YEAR?
According to one bookmaker, 100–1, i.e. not great.
Iceland has qualified from each semi-final since
2008 and has made the rather radical decision to
keep the song in Icelandic this year, for the first time
since 1997. This linguistic gamble does not appear
to be at the heart of the matter for most. It’s the fact
that the song is, well, a little bit twee.
Nevertheless, good luck Iceland! Is Harpa big
enough?
DANA INTERNATIONAL CAUSES MINOR
SECURITY ALERT WITH TROPHY
Eurovision was held in Jerusalem in 1999 and security was high, for obvious
reasons. As Dana International, who had won the contest the year before,
went to lift the trophy to award it to Sweden’s Charlotte Nilsson, she pre-
tended to struggle under its ‘weight’ before actually toppling over, causing
Mossad agents to spill onto the stage in case it was a terrorist attack.
VERKA SERDUCHKA DANCES ‘
LASHA TUMBAI’ (RUSSIA GOODBYE?)
Russo-Ukrainians were at an all-time low in 2007. When Verka Serduchka took
to the stage in Helsinki sporting the number 69 on their back and casually
fondling their left breasts at regular intervals, it caused something of a stir.
However, what made most Russians sit up and take notice was the astonishing
phonetic similarity of “Lasha Tumbai” to “Russia Goodbye.” Subtle. Regard-
less, it was a genius performance—for all the wrong reasons.
DUTCH SPOKESMAN CHATS UP
GREEK PRESENTER LIVE ON AIR
Sakis Rouvas, who co-presented the 2006 contest in Athens (yes, the Silvía
Nótt edition), got more than he bargained for when he called in the votes from
the Netherlands and was propositioned by Paul de Leeuw, the Dutch spokes-
person. De Leeuw delayed proceedings by giving Rouvas his mobile number
before finally revealing his country’s televote results. Terry Wogan, commen-
tating for the UK described the episode as “pathetic.” Wow.
BULGARIA STUNS AUDIENCE WITH (LITERALLY)
INCREDIBLE SEMI-FINAL PERFORMANCE
Bulgaria has only qualified for the semi-final once since its 2005 début. Kras-
simir Avramov is the personification of why. His song, “Illusion,” wasn’t too
bad on CD, but dress yourself as a medieval knight-cum-superhero and add
backing singers who look like refugees from “She-Ra,” none of whom can hit
a note, and it’s quite a different affair. However, the real pièce de resistance
is the man on stilts literally swinging a woman around the stage by her stilts
before unceremoniously dropping her on the floor. Priceless. The respectable-
looking Russian woman in the audience, hand clasped to mouth aghast at the
end, spoke for us all.
SILVÍA NÓTT CALLS EUROVISION LEGEND
AN ‘UGLY F***ING OLD BITCH’
Silvía Nótt caused quite a stir (and genuine anger) with her act at the 2006
contest. Having already gravely insulted the host nation, Greece, and then
failed to qualify for the final, she ranted at journalists that she had lost out
because she was not a “slut from Holland” or an “ugly f***ing old bitch from
Sweden.” She was referring to Carola Häggkvist, who won the contest in 1991
A Beginner’s Guide
Five recent Eurovision moments
that made us chuckle
Whether you are letting el vino flow for pure fun or pounding ‘em back to get
you through the roughness, spice up your Eurovision party by making a game
out of it. And remember folks, to paraphrase our lovely contender Eyþór Ingi,
it’s not about winning; it’s about glitz, glamour and having a good time!
Without further ado, we give you… THE GAME!
TWELVE-POINT BLACKOUT
Required:
1. Bottle(s) of alcohol suitable for doing shots (preferably something local)
2. Drink suitable for chugging (beer, cocktail, white wine spritzers)
The Rules:
 When the contest begins, take a shot
 Whenever there is a dance sequence with more than 3 people, take a shot
 Whenever someone tears away their costume, take a shot
 Whenever a ballad-singer sings an over-sustained note, chug until it’s over
 Whenever pyrotechnics, confetti or fountains go off, chug until they stop
 When Iceland gets either twelve points or zero points in the results, take a shot
 Whenever you see the Icelandic flag, finish your drink
 When (WHEN!) Iceland wins, pour all the remaining alcohol all over your head
The Eurovision Song Contest 2013 takes place on 14, 16 and 18 May. For more information about
the Eurovision Song Contest, visit the official website at www.eurovision.tv
Iceland In
The Eurovi
sion
Song Contest
UMMM…
Th
e Perfect Eurovision Party
by Lee Williscroft-Ferris
by Rebecca Louder
by Lee Williscroft-Ferris