Reykjavík Grapevine - 12.08.2011, Page 4

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Say your piece, voice your
opinion, send your letters to:
letters@grapevine.is
Sour
grapes
& stuff
MOST AWESOME LETTER
FREE ICELANDIC GOURMET FEAST
There's prize for all your MOST AWESOME LETTERS.
And it’s a scorcher! No, really! It's a goddamn scorcher
is what it is! Whoever sends us THE MOST AWESOME
LETTER this issue will receive A FRIGGIN GOURMET
FEAST FOR TWO at TAPAS BARINN.
Did you hear that? Write in and complain about
something (in an admirable way), win a gourmet feast at one of Reykjavík's finest? THIS IS
THE DEAL OF THE CENTURY IS WHAT IT IS!
What's in a 'lobster feast'? Well, one has to assume that it has lobster-a-plenty. Is there
more? Probably, but still... Gourmet feast? Wow! DON’T PANIC if your letter wasn’t picked
AWESOME LETTER. There's always next month!
Now, if you're in the market for free goodies next month, write us some sort of letter.
Give us your worst: letters@grapevine.is
MOST AWESOME LETTER:
It is ridiculous that Don Freeman gets to
write in this paper. [http://www.grapevine.
is/Home/ReadArticle/WHALING-IN-ICE-
LAND]
First of all, he is nothing more than a
racist when it comes to Icelanders and wants
to believe the worst about us. He leads his
life writing badly of Iceland in all the pa-
pers, on the internet, and on his own Face-
book page called Fuck off Iceland leave the
whales alone http://www.facebook.com/
group.php?gid=9242268006.
I have sometimes talked to him on the
net and the thing that annoys me the most
is that he has no interest that Iceland stops
whaling. His interest is in attacking the
country with economic sanctions and will
stand over us, laughing, when the Icelandic
business world collapses and we go back 50
to 80 years.
And you let these kinds of people write in
your paper?
I am for writing about whale hunting but
to a person like this to write about whaling is
like getting Hitler to write about the Holo-
caust.
If people like him get to write in your pa-
per, then I will never read the paper again
and will see to it that my associates, i.e. ad-
vertisers in your paper, learn what kind of
people are allowed to write in this paper.
Thanks,
Hugrún
Dear Hugrún,
Wow. We must say, this has been a most
enjoyable and educational letter. We weren't
aware that Icelanders were a race, for ex-
ample, or that criticising the practices of one
private business constitutes outright slander
of an entire nation. Nor were we aware of
Don Freeman's fiendish plot to crush the
Icelandic economy. But the cherry on top
would have to be invoking Hitler (although
the metaphor is confusing – if Don writing
about whaling is like Hitler writing about
the Holocaust, does that not make Don pro-
whaling, or Hitler anti-Holocaust?). Hitler
classies-up any argument, no matter what
anyone says. Kudos, Hugrún. You have el-
evated the discourse to levels normally only
seen on 4chan. And for that we award you
MOST AWESOME LETTER!
Hello.
This is a completely selfish letter, written
and published (I hope!) for purposes entirely
of my own self-gain (again, I hope!)
Wooed by Reykjavik and her danger-
ously seductive nightlife last Saturday night
(July 30) I managed to misplace my bright
orange Panasonic Lumix DMC-TS2 digital
camera whilst out (exact venues, unknown).
It's not so much the loss of the camera that
upsets me (easily replaceable) but the mem-
ory card containing two weeks of Icelandic
adventure, discovery and emotion. And so I
am writing this letter in the vain hope that
someone met my camera during it's run-
away journey that fateful night and may be
kind and honest enough to return to me the
memories of this extraordinary country.
I place my faith and hope in you, good
people of Reykjavik.
Kay-Dee, Australia
Hay Kay Dee,
What a bummer. Hopefully one of our read-
ers has found your bright orange Panasonic
Lumix DMC-TS2 digital camera, and hope-
fully they also have the decency to send it to
you. We’d like to think our readers would be
decent enough to do that (but then that might
be naive). Anyways, we hope you are at least
left with some non-photographic memories
from your stay (given the odds).
Peace.
Thank you for being a good source of edu-
cation, and, to be up-to-date. At this time,
here in the U.S.A., we are faced with a very
serious situation, bear attacks on people.
Amongst the concerns, are polar bears that
have natural habitat in the waters around the
west of Alaska, that have been swimming for
hundreds of miles, and showing up in un-
usual places doing unusual things. To help
defend us, needed is to further our under-
standing of bear animal behavior.
We are in times where it seems glacier
melting is pushing these animals out of
their normally associated setting, and into
conditions they are not as well adapted to.
Unmarked, such as by conservationists,
bears that have more experience underwater
could have correlations.
There is Þorvaldur Friðriksson, who has
erudition of sea creatures, and am seeking to
send correspondence to him, so that he can
provide me with knowledge and wisdom for
the cause just explained. Does he have an
e-mail, website, or method of reaching him,
and if so, please send to me, as you may be
permitted.
Þorvaldur Friðriksson is in an article
written by Paul Fontaine, an author that
writes for you. There stands the chance that
Paul Fontaine might have access to how to
reach him. What is the e-mail address of
Paul Fontaine, in event this is necessary?
The article is 'Claims Sea Monster Lives
In Fjord', dated 1.7.2011, [<http://grapevine.
is/News/ReadArticle/Claims-Sea-Monster-
Lives-In-Fjord>]
'Árni Kópsson told Vísir that he sent a
deep sea camera into the bottom of the fjord
to record what may be in one of the craters
recently found there by the Marine Research
Institute a few years ago. Apart from fish
and shrimp, Árni says he saw something
else.
"There was some kind of creature that
you couldn't see really well," he said. "Some-
thing that was quick to make itself scarce
when you got near it."
Þorvaldur Friðriksson, an expert in
monsters, who accompanied the trip, says
that the purpose of the investigation was to
gather evidence for sea monsters in the area.
Þorvaldur has collected monster stories
from all over the region, which is famously
rife with tales of sea monsters.'
In the foreseeable future, Þorvaldur
Friðriksson would be invited to lecture
those of us in the U.S. so that we can bet-
ter prepare ourselves for possible interfaces
with bears and these kinds of animals. Your
newspaper will receive much credit for your
assistance.
There stands a high chance that polar
bears are included in the animals that Þor-
valdur Friðriksson covers. The 1000 page
book on creatures he has prepared, may have
content which would be helpful to us.
Founder of ETIS International, a com-
pany which works for betterment of the
environment, we sincerely look forward to
hearing from you.

Many thanks,
A, Luqman
Dear A , Luqman,
Oh, yes. We in Iceland know all about the
dangers of bear landings. We also emphati-
cally believe that this country is not doing
enough to prepare for a possible monster
landing. I mean sure, polar bears haven't
killed anyone in recent Icelandic history, but
why take chances (and not murder them)?
The same goes for sea monsters. If a polar
can tear a man in half with the casual swat
of his paw, there's no telling what the much
larger sea monster could do. Not to mention,
those lizards.
It would be our pleasure to put you in
touch with Þorvaldur Friðriksson, and we
believe he may be of some assistance. Best of
luck in all your preparedness endeavours.