Reykjavík Grapevine - 18.07.2014, Side 8

Iceland | For Dummies
Something called The Good Country Index was published recently. It is a list of 125 countries ranked according how much good they do in the world, from Ireland at
the top to Libya at 125th. As a marketing
stunt, it was brilliant, generating a few
hundred thousand news articles around
the globe. It was, predictably enough,
conceived by a marketing guy who, even
more predictably enough, paid someone
else to do all the hard work. You can take
a wild guess at which one got most of the
media attention.
The guy who did all the work?
No. But let us salute Dr. Robert Govers for
all his hard work on what is essentially
an idiotic concept dreamed up by some-
one who wanted to create a global moral
league table. Dr. Govers did the best he
could, given what he was asked to do,
namely work out statistically how much
good a country does in the world.
That doesn't seem like such a bad
idea.
Bad ideas often seem good. Milk is good,
lemon is good, so you try squirting a little
lemon in your milk. Not only do you end
up with curdled awfulness, but also ev-
eryone you tell about squirting lemon
in milk assumes this is a euphemism for
something.
Which is just like creating statis-
tical models and applying them to
moral issues... how?
Because you end up with a curdled, use-
less mess. The index is a collection of
thirty-five datasets, some of which make
sense, for example how much hazardous
waste a country exports. Some are really
arbitrary, like how many Nobel Laure-
ates are born in a country. No really, the
birthplace counts.
If you think that measures what
makes a good country I've got some
shares in a Nobel Prize Laureates'
sperm bank to sell you.
Furthermore, they claim not to be pass-
ing judgment. The only reason to create
a ranked list of countries and call it "The
Good Country Index" is to pass judg-
ment.
Besides, what kind of low self-es-
teem nobodies cares about mean-
ingless lists?
Icelanders care about these ranked lists
of countries. When the country ranks in
the top places for gender or social equal-
ity, that fits with the self-image of Ice-
land as a nation without class difference
or gender bias. If Iceland had been the
top country on the list of good countries,
there would have been much backslap-
ping, as Icelanders like to think they are
at worst harmless, and at best a force for
good. Being in the top 20 is not so bad.
In America they have a saying, sec-
ond place is just first loser.
So by placing 17th in the Good Coun-
try Index we are twelfth loser. Wait... is
that right? Oh well, Iceland never places
very high on ranked lists of which coun-
tries are best at maths. Iceland ranked at
number 1 in the "Current Contributions
to Planet and Climate" section, though
data on Iceland was missing for three out
of the five indicators for that category. Of
course, the list that Iceland most wants to
rank high on is the list of countries that
matter in the world.
You should get a marketing guy to
make up a list, call it the "Countries
That Matter Index" and put Ice-
land on top.
For a brief while Iceland mattered on the
world stage. Well, that is exaggerating it
slightly, but Icelanders felt like Iceland
mattered and self-image is all that really
counts. It all began with Björk and Sigur
Rós and people travelling to Iceland to
listen to awkwardly-dressed teenagers
mumble into microphones and strum
badly tuned guitars. Then came the
banking miracle, which was less a case of
turning water into wine than how to turn
a nation's gold into a pie in the face.
Everybody loves a clown.
During the financial crash Icelanders felt
like they mattered, insofar as the person
everyone points and laughs at because
they pied themselves in the face is surely
the centre of attention. Then there was
the first gay prime minister in the world,
popular crime writers and, the country's
crowning glory, shutting down a quarter
of the planet's air traffic with a volcano.
Okay, so the nation does not really have
any control over the volcano, but world
media came to Iceland and their strug-
gles to pronounce Eyjafjallajökull caused
general merriment.
Don't get cocky, the Welsh turned
unpronounceable place names into
an artform long before anyone set-
tled Iceland.
See, it is hard to compete when you are a
nation of 325 thousand people. Probably
it is best for Iceland to stop worrying and
settling down for a life of restful obscu-
rity. Otherwise there is the risk of turn-
ing into the country equivalent of the kid
who drinks lemon-curdled milk in cook-
ing class to get attention.
So What's This I Hear About
Iceland Being The 17th Best
Country In The World?
Words by Kári Tulinius
Illustration by Inga María Brynjarsdóttir
8
The Reykjavík Grapevine
Issue 10 — 2014
Högni Egilsson,
musician (GusGus, Hjaltalín,
among others)
I can’t answer that question in one or
two sentences.
Dagur B. Eggertsson
mayor
The weather, obviously.
Hilmar Magnússon
head of Samtökin 79,
Iceland's Queer Association
The harbour area. It has this fasci-
nating mixture of culture and the
industry. Most of what’s happening in
Reykjavík, in terms of development,
is happening in the harbour area. It’s
close to downtown, but it’s rough. It’s
peaceful, but rough.
Unnsteinn Manúel Stefánsson,
singer of Retro Stefson
The best thing we have in Reykjavík
is our swimming pools. In Portugal,
where I was born, the whole town
would meet up and unwind at the pub
after work, and that’s where you’d
hear what’s up, but in Iceland, only
young people go out straight after
work. If you want to catch up with
people, you do it in the hot tubs at the
swimming pools. That’s where ev-
eryone hangs out. It’s a sort of social
centre.
Elín Eyþórsdóttir
singer in Sísý Ey
Perhaps the clouds. They are my fa-
vourite thing about Reykjavík. Swim-
ming. Gay rights. Many rights others
don’t have.
Jón Pétur Þorsteinsson
guy walking down Laugavegur
Life standards are pretty good.
Steinunn Eva Óladóttir,
bartender at Lebowski Bar
I think everyone’s very friendly.
Alda Sigmundsdóttir,
author and blogger
The first thing I think of is Grótta
with the lighthouse, in Seltjarnarnes,
near the golf course. It’s a really nice
place to go for a walk, and just y’know,
hang out and bicycle and to be out-
doors. AND there is a little hot tub
that’s carved into a rock. It’s just be-
What’s
The Best
Thing About
Reykjavík In
One Or Two
Sentences?
TEMPL AR ASUND 3
BREAKFAST,
LUNCH & DINNER