Reykjavík Grapevine - 16.06.2017, Blaðsíða 4

4The Reykjavík Grapevine
Issue 10 — 2017
The Top Stories
Costco, Cops & Murder in Mosfellsbær
Words: Alice Demurtas
Images: Sveinbjörn And His
Big Bag Of Stock Photos
When Herra Hnétusmjör heard about
the Costco gas prices he straight up
lost it.
NEWS IN BRIEF It seems like we
can never get enough of Costco
updates, mostly because what this
company is doing seems unfath-
omable and no more real than a
‘Game of Thrones’ episode. This
week, Costco has in fact lowered
their gasoline prices by offering
a litre of diesel at 158.9 ISK—6
ISK less than a month ago. It may
not seem like a big deal, but for
people who seem willing to drive
45 minutes out of their way to get
cheaper gas, Costco is slowly be-
coming the equivalent of a Santa
Claus with a full time job.
A happy icelander, pictured
outside Costco
Perhaps the arrival of Costco to
our steamy shores has something
to do with the odd levels of hap-
piness that have been recently
recorded by market researcher
MMR. According to MMR, a ma-
jority of Icelanders believe that
life is fair, unless you’re a member
of the Pirate Party. In that case
you seem to be exempt from expe-
riencing such levels of euphoria.
You know what helps with feel-
ing happy? Money, as well as the
certainty that the government is
not fucking you over. Surely then,
the fact that 88% of the ruling In-
dependence Party thinks that life
is great shouldn’t really come as
a shock.
Would you trust this man with a
revolver?
To make sure everybody contin-
ues to feel happy and safe in their
home, Iceland (a country without
an army or a big enough ego to
procure one) is considering arm-
ing special forces police during
major events like Independence
Day as counter-terrorism mea-
sures. Armed police were already
seen at the Color Run at the be-
ginning of the month, but fur-
ther actions are currently being
explored. The main question is
whether increasing surveillance
will really increase security or
just inject more fear in the popu-
lation.
Vatnajökull: Rent a helicopter or gtfo.
Authorities at Vatnajökull Na-
tional Park are putting their foot
down when it comes to protecting
the environment. According to
park ranger Regina Hreinsdóttir,
the number of travellers and cars
at the tourist centre is becom-
ing unsustainable. Therefore,
two travel companies based in
Skaftafell will be asked to take
their service elsewhere in order
to decrease the traffic of people
and cars and consequently their
impact on the environment. No-
body knows where said compa-
nies might go, but Regina makes it
clear that the access to Skaftafell
itself won’t be banned at all.
Our condolences.
In the meantime, the police al-
ready have their hands full with
a gruesome Mosfellsbær murder
case in which a group of six was
accused of killing a man in cold
blood, possibly in connection with
a feud in the Icelandic criminal
underworld. The man had just
had a baby and was enjoying the
company of the child and his
wife when the group knocked on
his door. Then, he was allegedly
beaten with an iron bar, before
being run over by a large pickup
truck. No further details have yet
been disclosed by the police but
the case has shocked the com-
munity almost as much as Birna
Brjánsdóttir’s death just a couple
of months ago.
SMJÖRFLUGA
An artist's rendering of envy and success in Iceland. According to right-wing think
tank analysis of the recent MMR poll (below) the main reason for poverty in iceland
is not in fact laziness, but jealousy-induced laziness, and can be remedied by
becoming awsome and using your inheritance wisely.
First
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