Reykjavík Grapevine - 16.06.2017, Síða 6

Pawn Shops

NEWS Shockwaves rocked the
halls of Morgunblaðið, Iceland’s
oldest continuously publishing
newspaper, when it came to light
that an unknown assailant or as-
sailants were urinating in vari-
ous trash cans in their offices.
Details are still cloudy at
the time of this writing, but
Vísir.is has confirmed that
there is nothing wrong with
the bathrooms at Morgun-
blaðið’s offices, and access
to them is unrestricted.
S v a n h v í t L j ó s b j ö r g
G u ð m u n d s d ó t t i r, t h e
human resources man-
ager for Árvakur, the
company which owns
Morgunblaðið, was forced to re-
lease the following e-mail, with the
subject line “Pissed in a trash can”:
Hi
As the subject of this email contends,
someone has repeatedly pissed in a
trash can on the ground floor.
There are countless toilets in
the building, please use them.
This e-mail was sent to all
employees in the building.
It has nonetheless not been
ruled out that this may be
the work of one or more
guests to the building, al-
though this is less likely.
On a completely unre-
lated note, the co-editor
of Morgunblaðið is Davíð Odds-
son, a former Central Bank manager
who was also the founding father of
the modern incarnation of the con-
servative Independence Party. Davíð
has not publicly denied that he is
behind the trash can micturitions.
The Morgunblaðið Piss Bandit re-
mains at large at the time of this writing.
In a lot of major
metropolitan areas
around the world,
if you’re hurting for
some pocket money
and you need it now,
you can typically take
anything of value
down to your local
pawn shop.
DVD players, bicycles,
rifles—whatever it
is, they’ll take it off
your hands for cash,
and the option to
buy it back later at a
significant markup,
or else some total
stranger will buy it
instead and you’ve
lost it forever. Here
in Iceland, you’re not
going to find any such
service.
There was a “pawn
shop” in Reykjavík
as recently as 2015.
However, their
website has 404’d,
their location has
been usurped by a
bank, and their phone
number now belongs
to a rent-a-truck
service.
If you do need
that extra cash and
don’t want to take
out a loan, you need
not despair if you
happen to own any
gold or silver. There
are numerous places
that will buy these
precious metals off of
you, often without any
questions asked.
No one seems
to know why pawn
shops never took off
around here. Maybe
because Iceland
has typically been a
country where any
bank is willing to
give you a predatory
loan, or issue you
an overdraft with
mafia-level interest
rates, and some
private companies
have also taken to
offering some shady
microloans.
However, there
is still no such store
that buys practically
anything for cash
from random walk-ins
off the street. Here in
Iceland, we will buy
your gold and silver,
but that’s the best we
can do. PF
Piss Bandit Runs
Amok At Vaunted
Newspaper Office
No trash can is safe
If you’re some sort of snake-man
hybrid looking to emigrate to Ice-
land, we’re afraid it’s bad news. In
this country, it’s against regula-
tions to have a pet snake, turtle or
lizard. We asked Þorvaldur Þórðar-
son, Manager of Import and Ex-
port at the Icelandic Food and Vet-
erinary Authority, to explain why:

“The import of live animals to Ice-
land is prohibited in order to main-
tain good disease status as a re-
sult of the geographical isolation
of the country.
“The ban applies to all snakes
and most reptiles.”
But why? Following the success
of the hit 1990s TV show ‘Teenage
Mutant Ninja Turtles’, sales hit the
roof. Later that decade in Iceland,
a turtle infected its owners with
Salmonella.
“The main reason why snakes
and turtles are banned is because
they are a common source of Sal-
monella,” explains Þorvaldur—and
the infection can be deadly. But, if
you do see a lizard, don’t call the
cops. A few reptiles exist in Ice-
land as “exceptions are made for
certain pets under certain condi-
tions.”
The import of animals is a com-
plicated business as many carry
bacteria and disease. If you plan
to bring your pet on holiday, know
that in Iceland all animals—includ-
ing dogs, cats and rodents—must
carry a permit or risk being de-
stroyed. According to the Icelan-
dic Food and Veterinary Authority,
you also need a permit to import
“deep-frozen dog semen.” Gross.
ASK A
Vetenarian
Q: “Can I have a
pet snake?”
Words:
Paul Fontaine
Share:
gpv.is/nws10
"The co-
editor of
Morgun-
blaðið is
Davíð
Oddsson"
WHAT'S MISSING IN ICELAND
6The Reykjavík Grapevine
Issue 10 — 2017
Morgunblaðið will always be Number One to us
An artists rendering, imagining our
snake expert Þorvaldur Þórðarson in his
presumptive natural habitat
First
A STICKY
BLOC
PARTY BY
PRIKIÐ
& GRAPEVINE
On June 30, Prikið on Bankastræti and The
Reykjavík Grapevine will join forces to host
the party of the summer. The party starts at 16:00 with free
hot dogs and beer, before kicking off with some of the best
the Icelandic hip hop scene has to offer.
This is also the release day for The Reykja-
vík Grapevine and our issue will tell you everything you
need to know about the vibrant scene. Expect some
swinging lights & a rowdy,
long night in Bankastræti.