Reykjavík Grapevine - 16.06.2017, Page 74

L I F E , T R AV E L & E N T E R TA I N M E N T I N I C E L A N D
Issue 10 × 2017
June 16 – June 29
www.grapevine.is
Darling, I
Am Not Your
Guide
Words: Ragnheiður Eiríksdóttir
Dear single heterosexual male tourist!
Welcome to Iceland! I know you must be excit-
ed to finally have realised your dream of visit-
ing this exotic island in the North Atlantic,
and I know you just can’t wait to discover its
national treasures. You might also have heard
about the nightlife in Reykjavík, the city that
hardly ever sleeps (unless it’s in mid-winter
darkness), and the hospitality of the locals. Oh,
and also heard rumors about the excessively
friendly demeanor of the females inhabiting
this island of adventures and lustful nights.
You come well prepared, your hiking boots
are polished, laces tied and right upon arrival
you probably bought a puffin hat—all good.
I’m sure you know Lonely Planet’s section
on Iceland by heart, and you’ve watched ‘101
Reykjavík’ and ‘Children of Nature’ a couple of
times, between going through the entire Björk
and Sigur rós catalogues. Also you signed up
for Tinder Plus, in order to meticulously plan
your social life while here. That allowed you
to browse through a wide selection of Icelan-
dic single ladies, and perhaps start chatting
them up before your arrival. And yes you are
absolutely right—we single Viking women
sure like the influx of fresh blood during the
tourist season. However, we need to set some-
thing straight. We use Tinder to meet men.
Some of us like no-fuss hookups, some of us
like to get together for a cup of coffee or a shot
of Brennivín, and some are even looking for
love. But we are not looking for unpaid jobs as
your guide around Iceland—even though you
offer to pay for transport and food. We have
jobs, kids, obligations, friends, lovers, hob-
bies and stuff to do. That’s the thing I needed
to tell you. I’m glad we got that out of the way!
Enjoy your stay.
Yours truly,
Ragga
LAST WORDS
Photo: Ragnheiður Eiríksdóttir
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