Reykjavík Grapevine - 20.04.2018, Side 8

There are some countries renowned
for their culinary expertise, others for
their proclivity to take to the barricades,
and even others for their ability to elect
reality show hosts to office. Iceland,
meanwhile, has a more sparkly reputa-
tion, full of big hair, small waists, tiny
bikinis and a desire for world peace.
Yes, over the years three ruthlessly
beautiful Icelandic beauty queens
have snatched up the coveted Miss
World title. Take that, ugly countries
that weren’t robbed by their bankers.
Beauty beats
Iceland’s first beauty beating was
in 1985 with Hólmfíður Karlsdót-
tir. Next up was Linda Pétursdóttir in
1988, and most recently Unnur Birna
Vilhjálmsdóttir in 2005. These three
victories actually put Iceland as the
third most decorated Miss World coun-
try worldwide, just behind Venezuela
with six sparkly crowns and India and
the United Kingdom with five each.
That said, it is clear per capita who
is the most attractive nation as 31.5
million people live in Venezuela
while only 320,000 call Iceland
home. Therefore if Iceland had 31.5
million people in their borders,
you’d see bejewelled crowns all over
the place rather than just fake tans
and obnoxiously dark eyebrows.
Miss Universe is lame
Unfortunately, Iceland has not yet
claimed the Miss Universe crown,
but the Miss Universe pageant is run
by Donald Trump and seems some-
what discriminatory as only women
from Earth compete. We find that
incredibly problematic but hey,
Donald Trump hates immigrants.
Words:
Hannah Jane
Cohen
Photos:
Brynjar Gauti
Sveinsson
WHAT HAVE WE WON?:
Miss World
Triple Crown
Iceland’s beauty boo-boos
Travellers are often surprised by the
peculiar ‘ostaskeri’ found in Icelan-
dic Airbnb kitchens. Although it
looks like a spatula, the horizontal
blade at its base betrays its purpose:
it’s a cheese (osta) cutter (skeri)!
But why do Icelanders often talk about
how disgraceful it is to have an ‘ostask-
eri’ in the middle of the road? Are they
secretly ashamed of their cheese-cutters?
In reality, they’re referring to the
dangerous security fence that separates
opposite lanes on high traffic roads like
the one to Hveragerði. The horizon-
tal wires, in fact, are so sharp that if
a biker or motorbiker clashes against
the ‘ostaskeri’ in an accident, well...we
leave it to you to imagine the rest. AD
8 The Reykjavík Grapevine
Issue 06 — 2018
LÓABORATORIUM
Os
ta
sk
er
i
First
Take that, ugly countries that weren’t robbed by their bankers
WORD OF
THE ISSUE
Listen, watch &
more tracks:
gpv.is/play
Indriði - Amma
Like an Icelandic
Kurt Vile, Indriði’s
solo work is very
different to the
aggressive metal
he makes as part
of Muck. He drawls
his way through
the melodious,
easygoing “Amma,”
which is a song
that’s as much
about the classic,
reassuring mood
of indie-Americana
than anything
else. More will be
revealed this year on
his new album ‘Ding
Ding.’ JR
Ólafur Arnalds -
re:member
From rock drummer
to BAFTA-winning
composer to
techno star as one
half of Kiasmos,
Ólafur Arnalds’ star
seems to rise and
rise indefinitely.
His latest release
is very much in his
house style, with
delicate piano,
spidery strings
and dramatic,
atmospheric swells.
It’s a tried-and-
tested sound, but
the world seems
hungry for more
Ólafur. JR
Dulvitund - Í Höfðinu
Á Mér
Dulvitund’s new
song is more catchy
and accessible
than his previous
efforts. There are
still the cold, dark
and ambient synth
layers, but this time,
they swirl around
a simple distorted
vocal melody. The
song carries the
listener through
a blurry dream
of comfortable
depression. It’ll stay
in your head for a
while. PW
María Viktoría - Rainy
Rurrenabaque
A regular guest at
songwriter evenings
and a constant live
performer, María
Viktoría should be
much more well-
known. This song
could help with its
youthful melody
that wraps the
listener into a comfy
sweater of innocent
pleasure. If you want
to feel like being on
holidays in South
America, listen out
for the trumpets. PW
Birgir - Home
The radio hit of the
issue goes to Birgir.
It’s a soft production
with a vocal faintly
reminiscent of
Michael Bublé and a
chorus that would
make any folk-indie
fan happy. This is
the perfect mixture
for your soundtrack
to the upcoming
Icelandic summer—
still hoping—or
the next Coca-Cola
advertisement. PW
Morpholith -
Voidwalker
This 12-minute
nightmare of slow,
crushing riffs is like
cold water on a hot
day for the Icelandic
doom metal scene.
The vocals vary
between singing and
hellish screams, and
are rather far back
in the mix, giving the
song an old-school
flair. The mid-song
tempo change
and the following
breakdown make
“Voidwalker” a must-
hear. My neck hurts
already. PW
THE
GRAPEVINE
PLAYLIST
The must-hear tracks of the issue
VISIT THE
WEIRD AND
WONDERFUL
WORLD OF
TULIPOP