Reykjavík Grapevine - 07.12.2018, Page 54

54 The Reykjavík Grapevine
Issue 21— 2018
Well, perhaps not bananas — and not
only women — but they were pretty
irritated because of how they were de-
picted in the newest children’s book
written by Iceland’s local celebrity,
Birgitta Haukdal.
Derogatory
In the book, called 'Lára Goes To The
Doctor,' nurses are called by the obso-
lete word—"hjúkrunarkona," or “nurse
woman.” Of this word there is no male
version, like “nurse man.” This is a relic
of the Icelandic language tradition
from the last century. Nurses can, of
course, be men or women (and more
genders if we want to go there) and
Iceland’s nurses have been fighting
this language for the past decades, ar-
guing that the terminology is deroga-
tory towards the profession.
Mad man
Birgitta was kind of a pleb-pop artist
who became hugely popular around
00’ and peaked in 2003 when she won
Eurovision in Iceland and was one of
few artists in Iceland to have had a doll
made in their likeness.
Nurses encouraged parents on
Facebook that, should they choose to
read Birgitta’s book to their children,
they should explain that nurses are
not only women. Moreover, nurses do
not dress in short skirts and nurse’s
caps, like some character straight out
of Mad Men, as depicted in Birgitta’s
book.
Not dramatic enough
Well, of course media didn’t think
this was dramatic enough, so Vísir.is
said in their article that nurses went
absolutely bananas over the nameless
nurse character, and then so did social
media (which actually did go bananas).
Two camps quickly formed. There
were those that said “nurse woman”
was a completely acceptable word,
and those who slammed Birgitta Hauk-
dal hard for being out of touch with
times and for being a misogynist.
The long war
After a long and productive discussion
on social media (aren't they always?),
the casualties were basically the
nurses, who said that they were just
pointing out what they have been
saying for decades: that nurses can
also be men (or more genders), and the
cynics that said that nurses should do
the nursing stuff but let the writers do
their fictional nonsense.
Birgitta said that she felt attacked
and stated that she meant well and re-
spected nurses. Once again, the inter-
net made the world a little safer than
yesterday.
CITY SHOT by Art Bicnick
WAR OF THE NERDS
War Of The
Nurses
Nurse “Women” Goes Bananas
Words:
Valur
Grettisson
Photo:
Album art-
work
WELL, YOU ASKED
Sautéed
Crotch Area
Words: Valur Grettisson
Photo: Art Bicnick
The colder months have started
and I noticed that I now have winter
dick, it’s a real thing, it’s when the
temperature is so low that your
penis shrivels and tries to escape
inside itself. I keep the heaters on
at home all the time just in case I
bring home a date, but it doesn’t
make any difference. What can I
do to make sure any potential shag
isn’t disappointed when they finally
see the winter of my discontent?
Jonathan
Icelanders do have some tricks up
their sleeve. Or in their pants. The first
is to always wear long johns when going
out. They’ll secure the luggage and keep
it warm in all conditions. The trick is
to either explain to your paramour in
a humorous way before you go home
that you're sporting flannel undies,
rather than making an awkward scene
out of it. That, or turn off the lights
before you disrobing for bed. Then be
sure to undress quickly. This could
obviously come across like you're way
too desperate, but you can’t win ’em all,
and let's be honest, you probably are.
One downside of this is of course that
you will have a sautéed crotch area. So
foreplay is kind of out.
If you want to be subtle, you can buy
woollen boxers. The outcome will be
the same as with the long johns, but
you don’t have to undress under the
cover of darkness. Just remember,
foreplay is still out question... unless
your lover is really into crotch sweat.
And if that's the case, you should run.
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