Reykjavík Grapevine - 21.06.2019, Síða 54

54 The Reykjavík Grapevine
Issue 10— 2019
WAR OF THE NERDS
Belugas In
The House!
The first whale conservation area
ever has arrived in Iceland
Words: Valur Grettisson Photo: Sea Life Trust
So, Iceland has belugas now. We
endeavoured to fly them over from
China in the middle of June and
they are finally here. They were
performers in some god awful
sea world, but the animals’ new
home is in the Westman Islands in
the south of Iceland, in the same
cove that Free Willy briefly called
home before he languished and
died. Velkomin new friends!
The Slave Names
The Sea Life Trust and Merlin
Entertainment, who run Lego-
land and more amusement parks
around the world, contacted the
Westman Islands city council and
asked them to host the animals.
The two cuties have been given the
slave names Little Grey and Little
White for their new Icelandic life.
The belugas are 11-years old, but
will probably live to be 50, and
they are smart as a whip.
The First Whale
Party Area
It’s assumed that over 300 beluga
whales are captive around the
world in different situations, and
the minds behind this sanctuary
project dream of bringing more of
them to Westman Islands, mak-
ing the largest conservation area
for whales in the world.
They have room for 12 belugas
in he cove, so this could be quite a
party. They are very social, like us
humans, and need both partners
and trainers—whale trainers, not
personal ones. So the city coun-
cil of the Westman Islands hopes
that they can train a local to be a
caretaker for the animal. Sounds
like the coolest job in the world, if
you ask us.
While this isn’t technically a
war of the nerds, it’s more a war of
the good guys versus awful people
who like to keep animals captive.
We assume they’ll make a badass
Hollywood movie about it some-
day. Fight the power.
CITY SHOT by Art Bicnick
WELL, YOU ASKED
Dead Mice
And English
Manners
Words: Andie Fontaine
Photo: Art Bicnick
How do I sufficiently apologise for
being British when abroad?
As Brits are already well-known for
dropping “sorry” with great frequency
in everyday conversation, it’d need to be
a pretty stand-out apology to be sure.
Money always makes the perfect gift for
any occasion, for example, so consider
treating people to dinner, or just hand
them a bag of cash if you’re not the
social type. That said, as an American,
the irony of me offering any advice on
apologising to the rest of the world on
behalf of one’s country is not lost on me.
My cat leaves dead mice on my
neighbour’s pillow every night and
my neighbour thinks it's me doing it.
What should I do?
What human being would believe
another fellow human being is leaving
dead mice on their pillow, when a
perfectly culpable and much more likely
feline suspect is readily available? Cats
don’t even know their right to avoid
self-incrimination and are physically
incapable of verba l ly defending
themselves. Your neighbour clearly
has some weird vendetta with you and
nothing you say is going to convince
them, sorry.
What’s the longest time I should wait
in a pub before accepting I’ve been
stood up?
Oh, honey. Have you not heard of the 30
Minute Rule? If someone’s running that
late and doesn’t even have the courtesy
to text their deferred arrival, you’ve
been stood up. Take heart, though:
it ’s entirely possible they showed
up after all, but scoped you from a
distance and decided to silently leave.
OK, that doesn’t actually sound very
comforting now that I write it down.
Send your unsolvable (UNTIL NOW )
problems to editor@grapevine.is or
tweet us at @rvkgrapevine.
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Crossing the edge
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