Reykjavík Grapevine - 05.07.2019, Side 54

54 The Reykjavík Grapevine
Issue 11— 2019
WAR OF THE NERDS
Never
Underestimate
A Drifter
Nerds of EVE Online
decimated by NPCs
Words: Hannah Jane Cohen Photo: Eve Online
Last week, the nerds of the MMOR-
PG EVE Online were shocked by a
surprise attack—no, not of heart
disease from all the Dominos con-
sumption—but by a hoard of NPCs
that have destroyed everything in
their wake. Enter the douchebag
Drifters.
Attack!
For losers, a NPC (non-playable
character) is someone created by
the developers, meaning there’s
no human on the other side of it,
just a bleak computer-generated
consciousness. In EVE, one of
these NPC factions are the Drift-
ers—think space pirates—who,
until now, have been but a minor
annoyance.
That is, until completely out of
nowhere, hoards of them attacked
every square inch of the Null-sec
region of space—more or less
the wild, wild west of EVE—en
masse, destroying everything in
their path. Nerds around the world
sat in shock as they watched their
carefully constructed citadels and
ships fall to what they would have
previously considered mosquitos.
Seriously, watch it on Twitch. It’s
comedy gold.
Ozymandias returns
While this might seem like a nor-
mal thing to happen in an online
game, in EVE, it’s completely un-
precedented. The foundation of
the game has always been player-
on-player drama, complete with
all the espionage, theft and war
that entails. Never has NPC-dra-
ma even entered the conscious-
ness of players as a notable prob-
lem. Before this, getting killed by
a Drifter would be totally embar-
rassing.
That said, with the onslaught
of Drifters, all other wars in the
system have been halted. The Im-
perium and TEST Alliance have re-
treated to their home stations and
all over-space campaigns called
off. Multiple Reddit threads had
players pleading surrender to the
developers. So perhaps this was a
good thing, an Ozymandias-esque
move to promote peace in the sys-
tem.
When reached for comment,
the Drifters simply burned down
the Grapevine office. Pity.
CITY SHOT by Art Bicnick
WELL, YOU ASKED
What Is
The World
Coming To?
Words: Felix Robertson
Is Reykjavík safe? I don’t want to ven–
ture into any BAD neighbourhoods!
W it h a c r i me rate merely 291
times lower than Vatican City, it’s
reasonable to be wary about crime in
Iceland’s capital. Certainly in some
of Reykjavík’s ghettoes you need to
keep your wits about you. Recently
some hapless tourists ventured into
the dark underbelly of Reykjavík and
actually tripped over a cat. Others
have described seeing houses that
Icelanders actually live in, rather than
just Airbnbs. What a slum! Be careful
out there, folks.
Recently, a friend of mine came out
as cisgender. While I respect all
gender identities, I do wonder if my
friend is just trying to be cool and
trendy, as it seems everyone is cis
these days. Should I call them out?
Of course you should call them out.
People only make changes as profound
and life-changing as this to be cool and
trendy, obvs. Have you tried asking if
it’s just a phase? That normally works.
Or just accept them for who they are—
but whoever heard of that?
How do I become a Social Media
influencer?
It’s actually not that hard. All you
need to do is set up a sinisterly named
transnational corporation which
harvests user data on a sweeping
and systematic scale and use this
information to twist digital algorithms
and spread politically extreme hate
speech. Congrat u lations, you’re
influencing Facebook, Instagram,
Twitter and destroying the post-war
economic consensus to boot. But if
election manipulation isn’t quite
your bag, you can keep tagging @
hudabeauty in the hope that she will
notice you among her 37.7 million
followers, until the existential horror
of your miserably warped societal
priorities becomes too much, and
you just go off and read a book.
Send your unsolvable (UNTIL NOW )
problems to editor@grapevine.is or
tweet us at @rvkgrapevine.
Two EVE Online players, chilling and having fun
Make Reykjavík green again!
ICEWEAR STORES
REYKJAVÍK • KÓPAVOGUR
AKUREYRI • VÍK Í MÝRDAL
VESTMANNAEYJAR
WEBSTORE ICEWEAR.IS
The House at Eyrarbakki
Opening hours:
May 1st - September 30th
daily 11.00-18.00
or by an agreement
Tel: +354 483 1504 & +354 483 1082
info@byggdasafn.is
byggdasafn.is
Árnessýsla Heritage Museum is located in Húsið, the House,
historical home of the Danish merchants built in 1765. Húsið
is one of the oldest houses in Iceland and a beautiful monu-
ment of Eyrarbakki´s time as the biggest trading place on
the south coast.
Today one can enjoy exhibitions about the story and culture of
the region, famous piano, shawl made out of human hair and
the kings pot, are among items. Húsið prides itself with warm
and homelike atmosphere.