Reykjavík Grapevine - ágú. 2021, Blaðsíða 10

10 The Reykjavík Grapevine
Issue 08— 2021
“A lot of the time when I tell people I'm
not a man or a woman, some people assume
that I'm intersex,” Regn says. “And that's if
people know what intersex is, which is not
common. I've also had people tell me 'you
can't be nonbinary; you're wearing a dress
and makeup'. I feel like they don't understand
that even if we look at the binary, there's no
right way to dress a man or a woman; you
can be a man in a dress or a woman in a
suit, so I can be nonbinary in a dress with
makeup. When I'm wearing more masculine
clothes, people are like 'so are you a man
today?' Also when I tell people I'm nonbi-
nary, some people think that nonbinary is
just one gender, like a gender in itself. But it's
an umbrella term. You can be just nonbinary
in itself, but there are so many other identi-
ties under there. A lot of the time people can't
get their head around that there's no connec-
tion to the binary there, because people have
been taught that there is a binary and noth-
ing else so it's really new to people. I get that,
and I always approach this topic kindly and
gently, because I don't want to scare people
off. I want people to understand more than
they're scared.”
“I think this thing treating nonbinary
as a third gender option right next to man
and woman is pretty common,” Reyn adds.
“Sometimes they'll think this third gender
is called by its pronoun, like 'There are three
genders: karl, kona and hán'. I've also had
people say something to me in masculine
language terms, correct themselves, but then
switch over to feminine. It's still wrong; it's
just a different wrong.”
Icelandic chal-
lenges
Like many languages, Icelandic is heavily
gendered. This applies not just to pronouns,
or the genders of certain nouns, but even
adjectives. Fortunately, Icelandic does recog-
nise a gender-neutral case, which has made
the language more flexible for nonbinary
people than languages that may recognise
only two gender forms. However, Icelandic
still has plenty of room for change to accom-
modate everyone and some neologisms have
been invented—most notably, hán, a gender-
neutral pronoun.
“I am a language enthusiast, and I have
such a big love for Icelandic,” Regn says. “It's
such an amazing, beautiful language. Because
I love the language so much, I acknowledge
the need for change, because languages are
supposed to serve the people using them; not
the people using them serving the language.
Languages are supposed to be accommodat-
ing. So I think all the new words that we're
seeing right now are all such powerful words
that I can't wait to hear being used regularly.
When I first started wanting people to use
hán, I also felt a bit uncomfortable with the
gender-neutral ending because it's used
mainly for objects. I got used to it, but I feel
other people are still uncomfortable with it
and I understand it totally, but other people
are just going to have to get used to it.”
“There's plenty of room in Icelandic for
gender-neutral speech,” Reyn says. “I think
the efforts that have been made so far have
been very successful. Hán of course being
the most popular gender-neutral pronoun
for referring to people. To me it's just very
natural sounding, easy to say—in fact I
sometimes use it accidentally for everyone.”
What needs to
change
When it comes to what needs to change in
our society that might make it more inclusive
of nonbinary people, representation plays a
big role.
“What I feel is that there is a huge lack of
nonbinary role models,” Regn says. “I don't
see myself anywhere, except [in] these very
fringe culture spaces deep on the internet.
Not being able to see myself in any role
models is pretty hard. I think that's the
reason why I didn't come out until I was 20.
I probably would have realised sooner that
I was nonbinary if there were a discussion
about it.”
But even within the context of representa-
tion, the kind of representation also matters.
“We've definitely gotten better at nonbi-
nary representation, too, but I think it lacks
diversity,” Regn says. “Almost every nonbi-
nary person who gets represented is a thin,
white, androgynous person, or a thin, white,
AFAB [assigned female at birth] person.
There's not a lot of representation of AMAB
nonbinary, or those who are disabled, fat, or
people of colour. It's this white, very slim,
Eurocentric people in black shapeless cloth-
ing. And I hate that.”
“I think it's got a lot to do with societal
attitudes,” Reyn says. “Visibility of nonbinary
people plays into that because, traditionally,
if nonbinary people are covered at all, it's
about how special they are for being nonbi-
nary. It's slowly changing for the better. But
I've also been seeing more and more nonbi-
nary stories [in traditional media]. It's not
much, but it's a big improvement. People still
are very clueless, so they need to be exposed
to this more. People have to learn—that's the
root of most problems, because they don't
know what to say to you, how to treat you,
how you want to live your life, and that just
makes it really hard for everyone. Especially
for people who are marginalised and aren't
understood, it's exhausting to continuously
have to explain yourself, every time, to every-
one.
“There's also the naming laws in Iceland. I
only have half of my name legally recognised
due to them. I think it has more of an effect
on people than people realise. Official organ-
isations and companies, everywhere you go,
being called something that you do not wish
to be called. The laws don't control what
people are named; they only control what
people are named officially, so effectively,
it's just making the National Registry inac-
curate. It doesn't serve us as well as it should,
because of these senseless limitations on
people's names and gender markers.”
Ultimately, nonbinary people just want
the same as any other human being might:
the freedom to be their authentic selves, to
have the same rights and representation as
anyone else, to be included in the language
of the community—and most of all, to feel
free to be happy just the way they are.
They're here to stay!
"Because I love
the language
so much, I
acknowl-
edge the need
for change,
because
languages
are supposed
to serve the
people using
them; not the
people using
them serving
the language."