Reykjavík Grapevine - sep. 2021, Blaðsíða 7

Botox. Retinoids. Push-up bras. Women
do a lot of things to hide their rotations
around the sun, spurred on by a society
that deifies the young and relegates the
old to silent corners. C’mon, you never
saw any online counters anxiously tally-
ing down the seconds to Meryl Streep’s
65th birthday—only the Olsen twins’
18th.
That said, ladies need not be ashamed
of your mortality anymore. For if there’s
anyone that shows us that age is but a
number—and that one can always be a
bad sexy, bitch—it’s the Norse giantess
Elli.
“Stricken with age”
Elli’s known as the Norse personifica-
tion of old age—the Crone, one might
say. In fact, one could easily make the
point that Elli being old is really her only
defining characteristic, like Sif having
blonde hair or Ví"arr wearing one shoe.
In the ‘Gylfaginning’—Elli’s only Edda
appearance—she’s described as being
“stricken with age” and really, all other
online or scholarly resources on the
Norse Pantheon always begin by harsly
illustrating her wrinkles, frail appear-
ance and other such elderly epithets.
Totally a three-dimensional female
character. Yas Queen!
But her presence in the Nine Worlds
is a rather meaningful one. Old age has,
of course, oft been a recurring enemy
in bedtime stories and parables across
time. From The Epic of Gilgamesh to
Lord Voldemort—humans have been
afraid of hip replacements for thou-
sands of years. So where does Elli fit
into this?
Momoa vs. White
Picture this: Tough heartthrob #ór was
not having a particularly spectacu-
lar day. He had just been defeated in
a drinking challenge—a devastating
blow to his masculinity, for sure—and
needed to prove, once and for all, that
he was a totally macho dude. Obvi-
ously, he decided to do this—as many
a drunk white dude has done—by fight-
ing someone.
So #ór searched for a competitor and
Loki, iconic trickster he is, decided to
“help out” by picking #ór’s adversary,
ultimately deciding on a competitor
he was sure to beat—an old fucking
woman.
Yes, #ór challenged Elli—our wrin-
kly, elderly protagonist—to a wres-
tling match. For comparison, imagine
Jason Momoa going on Celebrity Boxing
to TKO Betty White. You’d be kind of
weirded out right? Jesus, talk about toxic
masculinity.
That said, Elli, like Harry Potter, had
powers to which the Norse God was not
privy. She, bad bitch of the eons, totally
pwned #ór like a 13-year-old on Call of
Duty, pinning him down on one knee
and probably yelling something like,
“Where’s your hammer now, bitch?!”
So, to simplify, no one—not even a
Norse god—beats old age. Unless you
make a Horcrux or something. But that’s
another article.
7 The Reykjavík Grapevine
Issue 09— 2021

Rebekka Blöndal,
Matthías Hemstock,
Sigmar Matthíasson
& Ásgeir Ásgeirsson
- “If”
Lena Horne made
for the modern
day is what you’re
signing up for when
checking out “If” by
Rebekka Blöndal.
This is the song your
grandparents fell
in love to, swaying
to the tune in sepia
tone. Her honey-
laden voice sounds
how drinking a
warm cup of tea
feels — delightful,
comforting and, in
a way, curative. Is it
too soon to start a
petition to remake La
La Land with Rebekka
in the lead role? DT

Supersport! - Lag í
part!i
My gods, how good
is this song? On the
scale of good and
goddamn, I-feel-
like-I'm-floating-in-
space, -created-by-
Picasso-and-Monet,
-and-the-stars-are
-made-of-edible-
chocolate-good.
Well, it’s the latter.
Wonderful song, from
the best indie band in
Iceland, and possibly
in the world. VG
Vök - “No Co#ee At
The Funeral”
If you understand
the importance of
co#ee in the fabric
of Icelandic culture,
then the title of this
song will make sense
as a metaphor for the
painful absence of
something essential.
Grieving loss is an
experience common
to all shades of
humanity, and here
singer Margrét Rán
gives a strong yet
fragile voice to the
emotions of that
process. Musically,
washes of synth
and a minor-key feel
suggest the sense
of hazy numbness
that can accompany
the loss of a loved
one. And, in a nod to
the musical motif
of Margrét's recent
work with electro-
legends GusGus,
stabbing synths
evoke arpeggiated
visions of the early
80s. JP

Kælan Mikla -
Stormurinn
Imagine standing
barefoot watching
the clouds roll in
when suddenly, you’re
whipped up into an
ethereal, synth-laden
whirlwind. That’s
the experience of
pressing play on
the aptly named
“Stormurinn” "The
Storm") by Kælan
Mikla. The moment a
gentle voice breaks
through the thunder,
you know you’re
going to be okay. The
song itself recharges
you. With drum beats
Siouxsie Sioux would
bop along to, this
song is the perfect
weekend tune for
anyone who’s hoping
for a female-led post
punk revival with a
twist. DT

Two Toucans -
“Frozen Bones”
With a beat that’s
just lively enough
to keep your head
nodding along and
subdued vocals that
allow you to sit back
and vibe the whole
way through, this
is exactly the song
you want playing
in the cab on the
way home from the
club. This sibling duo
harmonises these
two aspects in the
way only people who
sprung from the
same gene pool can.
They’re like the Billie
and Finneas Eilish of
Iceland, but make it
hip hop — and even
dreamier. DT
GRAPEVINE
PLAYLIST
JUST SAYINGS
Tired of uttering the same old threats?
Feeling like your old ultimatums have
lost their power? It’s a tale as old as
time, but luckily Iceland has the solu-
tion. In Icelandic, when you really
want to intimidate someone, say you
will “find someone at the beach” (“A"
finna einhvern í fjöru”)—an ominous
invitation sure to bring a cold sweat to
anyone’s brow.
The saying basically implies that you
will find said enemy again in the future
and possibly beat them up then—simi-
lar to “we’ll meet again.” The origin of
this saying is rather ancient, referring
to surf-side trials for thieves which
would potentially conclude with the
thief being drowned for their offences.
Threatening stuff. VG
First
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The Beach 2.0
,,A$ finna
einhvern í fjöru”
GODS OF ICELAND
Superpowers:
Old age.
Weaknesses:
Wrinkly. Society’s perpetual
underestimation of the elderly.
Modern Analogy:
Your grandma when someone
turns o# ‘M.A.S.H.’
Gods Of Iceland: Elli, The Sexy
Wrestlin% Grandma
Throw away that eye cream, old is the new youn&
Words:
Hannah Jane
Cohen
Photo:
Adobe Stock
Creation
Only the good die young