Lögberg-Heimskringla - 01.03.2019, Síða 6

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6 • Lögberg-Heimskringla • March 1 2019
Robert T. Kristjanson
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Should they stay or should they go?
Funny how this article was
almost forgotten. After writing
about chemo I jumped right into the
column about radiation and forwarded
the piece to my editor. After about a
week, I realized that I had forgotten
a step – the removal of my breasts. I
scoffed at myself and questioned my
subconscious motive for leaving this
one out. Realizing this needed to be
addressed, I wondered why I didn’t
want to write about it. I procrastinated
for weeks. And as I sit here in my
kitchen and put my pen to paper, I still
feel resistance to go there. Being a
writer is not an easy calling. Not easy at
all. But necessary. If no one ever wrote,
how would we even begin to understand
life?
It is a hard thing to go back, as my
surgery was almost two and a half years
ago, and I wonder if I get the details
correct. But does that even matter?
What does matter about my stories and
experiences? The truth of the matter
is that the human heart never forgets
the ache, no matter what the source.
What we need to understand is that
every single one of us has endured a
heartbreak and no one is immune to it.
We are all the same.
So as I recall the decision leading
up to my surgery, I find a place in my
heart that had been kept tucked away.
A small hole that is peeking through to
expose itself once again to the world. So
why do I choose to go there? Because
every time the little hole gets exposed
it starts to shrink down a little more,
exposing the wound for what it’s worth
and allowing myself to grieve the loss.
Because of family history I had blood
work done when I found out I had cancer
to see if I also carry the BRCA2 gene
mutation that was found in our family.
During chemotherapy my blood work
came back positive for the mutation.
What is this? you may ask. BRCA2
is a human tumour-suppressing gene,
sometimes called a “caretaker gene.”
Its protein is responsible for repairing
DNA. So in simple terms it means that
most people have two working copies of
protein to repair the DNA – BRCA1 and
BRCA2. People like me who only have
one working copy due to mutation are at
a disadvantage.
The medical team strongly
recommended removing breast tissue
and ovaries. I recognize now looking
back that my decision was fear-based
and pressured. I was terrified. I couldn’t
even touch my breast without the fear
that another lump would be found. I also
knew that I never wanted to go through
this again, so I knew I needed them
gone. I was also scared of what radiation
might do to my skin so I made a decision
to have a surgery before radiation.
My body felt like a train wreck and I
decided that a nine-hour surgery to take
my belly fat and construct breast was
not an option. I didn’t know if I had the
energy to survive that. So I decided to
have implants. Quick and easy three-
hour surgery. I didn’t need my breasts
anyway and I wanted them gone. Or so
I thought. Surgery was booked and off
I went without any problems. I awoke
from surgery with a major feeling of
relief. They were gone. I could now
focus on healing and get the radiation
done so this could all be over. However,
it was not so easy for me. To this day,
I’m still grieving the loss of a part of
me that I loved. What if the cancer in
my breast had been speaking to me,
showing me that this life I was in was
sick? I realized almost a year after the
surgery just what I had done to my
heart. My breasts were more to me than
just part of my body or something to
look at. They represented womanhood,
the nurturing of babies, and pleasure.
And I was failing all of them. Sure, I
still look the same on the outside but
I had broken my own heart and that’s
one hard sadness to forgive.
I will never know what would have
happened if I had kept them. At the time I
believed it was my only option, but now
after facing my fears and expanding my
mind into new possibilities, I wonder if
I would have been okay leaving them be
and, in turn, embrace my womanhood,
nurturing myself and my loved ones,
and experience the joy of my spirit. Or
maybe by removing them, it was the
final step that allowed me to wake up –
the step that was needed to get me to go
inside to entertain these ideas.
And like the definition of BRCA2
says, it is the caretaker gene where the
mutation lies and, to be honest, I was not
proud of the way I had been taking care
of myself or my family. I felt like I was
failing them. So maybe it’s no wonder
the BRCA2 mutation was activated.
Something to think about. I bet 100
years ago they thought there would
never be a man on the moon either.
SURGERYMEL’S MOMENTS
Melanie Johannesson
Riverton, MB
Due to financial considerations, the board of the Snorri
Foundation has decided to make personnel changes with
the goal of reducing labour costs. As a result, we have
eliminated the full-time program manager position in its previous
form. This change will not affect the quality of the 2019 Snorri
Programs, which will run this summer just as in years past.
Ásta Sól Kristjánsdóttir, program manager since the year 2000,
has left her position. The board of the Snorri Foundation has hired
Ástrós Signýjardóttir to oversee preparations for this year’s Snorri
Program. Ástrós is an alternate board member and temporarily
took over the position of program manager when Ásta Sól was on
maternity leave in 2014.
The board has also hired Sanda Björg Ernudóttir to organize and
advertise the Snorri West program this year and to be the board’s
liaison with Jody Arman-Jones, the Snorri West program manager.
Sandra participated in Snorri West in 2017 and is an alternate on
the board of the Icelandic National League of Iceland. Ástrós and
Sandra are already hard at work in their new positions. Ástrós’ email
address is astros@snorri.is and Sandra’s is sandra@snorri.is.
Finally, board members Halldór Árnason (halldor@sa.is) and
Eydís Egilsdóttir (eydis@fjarfestar.is) will plan and supervise the
Snorri Plus program this year.
The board of the Snorri Foundation is prepared to address
questions or concerns regarding these changes. Board members’
email addresses can be found at www.snorri.is.
The board of the Snorri Foundation thanks Ásta Sól for all the
work she did to develop and run the Snorri Programs over the past
19 years, and we wish her all the best in her future endeavours. We
also welcome Ástrós and Sandra on board.
PERSONNEL CHANGES AT
THE SNORRI FOUNDATION
Snorri Foundation
Reykjavík, Iceland
ruv.is – When Foreign Minister
Guðlaugur Þór Þórðarson met with United
States Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, they
discussed commercial relations between the
two countries. The ministers said there were
unused business opportunities between the
countries, so they had decided to establish
a business consultation forum between the
countries. Pompeo said he hoped that it
would quickly bear fruit. Guðlaugur and
Pompeo were asked whether this would be
the beginning of something more – a free
trade agreement or something else – and they
did not rule this out. In addition, they said
that even though they realized there were
hindrances, their hope was for more and
lasting business relations.
“We decided to establish an economic
dialogue between Iceland and the United
States to advance our bilateral economic
cooperation further,” said the foreign affairs
minister. “The economic dialogue will include
bilateral discussions between government
officials, but also private sector, with the goal
of boosting bilateral trade, investment, and
importantly, private sector ties.”
During their discussions, the two men
emphasized the close ties between Iceland
and the U.S. through the years. “We are more
American than other European countries,”
said Guðlaugur. They said that mutual
heritage linked the countries as well as
fundamental standards and values that must
be protected.
They both spoke as well of the
geographical changes in polar seas. These
changes open new transport routes and call
for further cooperation between countries
in areas such as search and rescue. Both
countries have interests to protect in this
area, so strengthening their collaboration is
necessary.
Pompeo said he hoped to be able to
strengthen economic ties between the
countries. He further mentioned that the
U.S. had become one of Iceland’s biggest
single trading countries. “There will always
be challenges, and we cannot take business
relations for granted,” said Pompeo. The
United States government now wishes to
cultivate business relations that previous
governments have neglected.
“We will no longer take friends – true
allies and partners – for granted. We simply
cannot afford to neglect them. We are also
seeking genuine collaboration in Arctic
areas, which will always grow in importance,
and we look forward to working with you
on these matters. We know that when the
United States retreats, China and Russia will
fill the gap. This is unavoidable if we are not
there. We look forward to standing side-by-
side with Iceland in collaboration on Arctic
areas,” said Pompeo.
Reprinted with permission from Icelandic
News Briefs, published by KOM PR.
Iceland and U.S. announce business forum
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