Reykjavík Grapevine - 14.08.2009, Qupperneq 4

Sour grape of the month
A case of POLAR BEER for your thoughts.
We're not gonna lie to you: we really love us some beers. Some folks
would call it a problem, but beer never gave us any problems. In fact,
over the years, it's solved most of 'em. A frosty glass of cold, frothy,
bubblicious, golden-tinted beer has consistently failed to let us down.
In the immortal words of Homer J. Simpson: "Mmm... Beer..."
Now, since we're real pleasant and giving folks here at the Grapevine,
we thought we'd share some of that wonderful POLAR BEER with
you, our readers. Henceforth, until the end of days (or our Polar Beer-
sponsorship program, whichever comes fi rst), we will reward one
MOST EXCELLENT LETTER with a case of the Polar Beer. You read
right. A full case of beer. At your disposal.
Give us your worst: letters@grapevine.is
(light)
Say your piece, voice your opinion,
send your letters to
letters@grapevine.is
4
Letters
MOST AWESOME LETTER:
Sour grapes
and stuff
Response to Hanna’s Letter
Let me just cut the crap and give it
to you straight Hanna. I'm a foreigner,
you're a foreigner, and as outsiders to
an eerily tiny community, we just have
to be real about the situation concern-
ing anyone who is slightly different. Yes,
you will be left out. Icelanders don't really
have an interest of meeting anyone who
is remotely different from them. Also,
Icelanders have a limited view of the
world, they'll stare at anything out of the
ordinary. Dark skinned people, disabled
people,etc. In my experience, the older
generations have been a little bit more un-
derstanding of culture and differences.
Icelandic teenagers on the other hand are
bratty, spoiled, and have no understand-
ing of a world outside of Iceland or the
importance of manners.
I'm married to an Icelander, and I
have had the opportunity of meeting
some wonderful Icelandic people. I'm
grateful for that, but I will agree with the
editor when he states that you have en-
tered a land of assholes. And, please note
that I said I have met SOME wonderful
people. The assholes far outweigh the
nice folks. It's almost as if Icelanders view
those completely opposite of them as not
human. As if these ''other people'' have
no thoughts, feelings, or are unaware of
their surroundings. The way Icelanders
stare at others reminds me of the Medi-
eval times, where they would showcase
a giraffe, or a parrot at court. The xeno-
phobia is unbelievable. Anyone who says
Icelanders are openminded, and friendly
are clearly joking themselves, or they're
tourist who only dealt with people who
wanted to take their money.
Now, I don't mean to offend anyone,
but it's the reality.
J
Dear J,
wow. Huh?

Yes all Icelandic people are the devil.
No just kidding, but look, you were
born and bred here, you have no idea what
it's like for someone who isn't European
to live in a country like this..
Sorry if I offended..
Hey J,
no, you didn’t offend me. Your letter
just sounds a little extreme – I have some
problems taking it seriously. Jeez, I hope I
shouldn’t take it seriously. I mean, teenag-
ers are bratty and spoiled the world over.
Most teenagers are assholes; it’s what be-
ing a teenager is all about. In any case,
I don’t think any nation deserves to be
judged on the merit of its teenagers.
Then again, I’ve never really been
stared at here. I look pretty Icelandic, and
can get around speaking Icelandic with-
out a discernible accent (except for my
Ísafjörður accent). I’d be pleased if some
other readers voiced in. Is J right? Is Ice-
land a land of assholes? Do you get stared
at and offended and stuff if you don’t look
European? Or is J just being overtly sensi-
tive?
I found the article on the 'new breed of
Iceland visitor´ very ironic. I´m half way
through my six weeks in Iceland, and as
Subject: Letter of the Week
Despite a major economocal crash the tourists keep coming to Iceland i run into them
once in awhile holding maps in their hands wondering where in the hell are they going
i help them out the best i can sometimes i run into young male tourists wondering
where they can get some icelandic pussy and i say you came all the way to iceland to get
some pussy? I ask them dont they have any in yr country and quote the great zen master
Lafong "he who goes to sleep with sexual problems will wake up with answer in hand.
" What the hell is the matter with these guys?....what kind of propagandic pamphlets
have they been reading? With all due respect there are some great lookin gals here but i
have seen some foxey lookin psycho bitch ś wherever i roam on this planet. If yr famous
, rich , different hell you can always get laid. I recommend lookin at mount Esja or
Gullfoss for ultimate tantric sexual pleasure....eat some rams balls and have a nice day.
Sincerely,
Michael Pollock
www.myspace.com/michaeldeanodinpollock
Dear Michael,
we generally don’t take well to pressure such as naming your letter “letter of the week”
in hopes of winning that case of polar beer we give away every issue but we decided to
make an exception in your case as your letter was in fact a pretty good candidate for
most awesome letter and also because we are all firm believers in the the teachings
of THE SECRET which exclaim that vocally wanting things will usually make the
universe grant them to you so we are awarding you MOST AWESOME LETTER for this
issue because we do not want to disprove THE SECRET and the awesome philosophies
espoused there in we also like your style of punctuation and are considering making
it policy as things read better without all those pesky commas and periods and stuff
holding you back.
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an individual traveler, I have experienced
rotten treatment, compared with the
treatment given to couples, families, and
groups.
At restaurants, I´m seated at the
worst table, usually next to the toilets or
kitchen. At hostels and guesthouses, I´m
given the worst room, again next to the
toilets or kitchen, with a view to a garbage
dumpster or major highway. On buses,
I v́e been asked to move seats, so that a
shiny happy couple can sit together. On
tours, I´m expected to pay a ́ supplement,́
sometimes 30% more than the listed
price.
Can someone please explain to me
why the Icelandic tourism industry so
blatantly discriminates against solo trav-
elers? And why should any single gal/sin-
gle guy waste their time and money on a
country that would treat them so poorly?
Robyn (Canada)
Dear Robyn,
We don’t really respond to single read-
ers. We are a family magazine, and we
cater to families and couples for the most
part. But we can maybe stick your letter in
the listings section. Hah.
No, really? It sounds like you’ve had
a rough turn at some places; you should
definitely not be made pay a supplement
fee. Do you really think your experience
merits your complaints, or are you maybe
exaggerating for dramatic effect? Boy, Ice-
land isn’t getting a nice turn in this letter
section. Did you at least look at any nice
waterfalls? Anyway, you should look at
the bright side; at least you have a better
chance of hooking up with strangers if
you’re traveling solo, right?
Hey there.
I'm flying all the way from Austin
Texas so that I may wander about your
sweet island of a country for a while. I
may even frolic.
Frolicking or not, I come from a place
where tattered jean shorts, American Ap-
parel t-shirts, and magnificent beards
are quite the norm, as are temperatures
above 105.
So you're probably wondering why
this would concern the Grapevine.
My more traveled friends seem to
think that I would fare better in another
nation if I shaved my beard, which is a
magnificent beard, just so you know.
Some have even suggested I would be
presumed homeless. As I tilted my head
back to allow more room for laughter, the
uncertainty started to creep in. Are they
right? If I visit Iceland with a formidable
mane, will I be subjected to scorn? Will I
be forced to eat on the back porch? Will
bartenders laugh as I order frozen ba-
nana daiquiris?
The internet is a big place, and yet I've
had more than a smidgen of trouble try-
ing to find the answer to this question.
Your/This publication seems to have
the pulse of what's gilded in awesome-
ness in Iceland.
So, I was thinking, maybe, perhaps,
whomever you are that checks this email,
if you find yourself with the even the tini-
est free moment, to fill it with the joy of
correspondence.
Are beards cool in Iceland?
Soon to be tourist taking pictures and
asking directions,
Adam Rose
Dude,
beards are way popular in Iceland. It's
cold here, and they keep yr cheeks warm!
What’s weird is why they're popular in
Austin. I've been there, and it's real hot.