Reykjavík Grapevine - 06.12.2013, Qupperneq 4

At the seashore the giant lobster makes
appointments with mermaids and landlubbers.
He waves his large claws, attracting those desiring
to be in the company of starfish and lumpfish.
> Only 45 minutes drive from Reykjavík
Eyrarbraut 3, 825 Stokkseyri, Iceland · Tel. +354 483 1550
Fax. +354 483 1545 · info@fjorubordid.is · www.fjorubordid.is
by the sea
and a delicious lobster
at Fjörubordid in Stokkseyri
Reykjavík
Stokkseyri
Eyrarbakki - The Seashore restaurant
Sp
ör
e
hf
.
Summer opening hours: Mon - Sun 12:00 to 22:00
If you return from a trip to Iceland with your emotions un-
scathed, then you are a stronger better man than I, Gunga
Din. This is a land of majestic landscapes, waterfalls, which
should make Niagra eat her heart out, and of a people of
extraordinary resilience.
[…]
Everywhere we went there was friendliness and co-oper-
ation: the receptionist who seemed to multi-task in the
hotel, the young man, of Viking build, who sat beside us
in the cafe/restaurant and wanted us to see the sights and
experience the countryside, the bus drivers who drove for
kilometers on end and never a complaint was heard.
Iceland, please don’t do a somersault and return to the
sea. The six million tourists you expect in 5 years would be
seriously disappointed. Your people are proud of their tradi-
tions language and environment, being quite wary of the
last. My name, that is, my last name, in the Gælic, means
From the North, so part of me is part of you. Please don’t
disappear.
Tommy Norris
Ireland
Dear Mr. Norris:
We were very pleased to receive your four-page letter—hand-
written correspondence is a dying art, and we are sad to see it
go—and also very happy to hear that you had such a positive
experience, with such competent guides, here in Iceland. Also,
please rest assured that we have every intention of keeping our
feet firmly planted well into the future: no somersaults. Or at
least, not ones we can’t bounce back from.
Come and see us again sometime,
The Grapevine
Say your piece, voice your opinion, send
your letters to: letters@grapevine.is
Sour grapes & stuff
MOST AWESOME LETTER
Blása! Blása!...Blása aftur! (Do not drive slowly in Miklabraut)
Hello everybody! I would like to tell you about something
that happened to me recently.
I have been living in Iceland for more than two years and I very
seldom see any police around. In fact I thought there wasn’t
any. Last Saturday I found out that the police is always there
when necessary! Perhaps!
My daughter was giving a party for her birthday, and my
wife and me decided to spend the night out and let her and her
friends use the flat where we live. After eating out at a restau-
rant, where I drank a beer and lots of glasses of pure and fresh
Icelandic water, we were curious to see, from the outside, what
our daughter and her friends were doing at the party. Typical
parents’ worries! We were satisfied to see they were having fun
in a peaceful way and planned to spend the rest of the night in
a pub. We were not in a hurry so I did not need to use a short-
cut to go downtown: the longer the way the better. I turned into
Miklabraut and drove slowly since I was also talking with my
woman about our future in Iceland. However, all of a sudden
something strange happened. A car behind us, very close and
flashing.
What the hell! It was the police!…I decided to stop and
turned on the direction lights. When I was getting off the
car a policeman was already on me saying with a menacing
voice: “Do not get off! Stay in the car…You’re drunk!” I tried to
keep calm and replied “I don’t think I’m drunk. I was at the
restaurant. I just had a beer! (“and a lot of water since the food
was really spicy”), but it was more than two hours ago.” He
wasn’t convinced at all….“You were driving too slowly! People
who drive slowly are drunk!” “I beg your pardon? The speed
limit is 60 km ph. Is there a minimum speed limit?” “No, but
people usually drive very fast when they are in Miklabraut.” …
He ordered: “Stay in the car! A colleague of mine is coming
with the equipment soon.”
At last his colleague came! “Now, please, þú þarft að blása
hér!” He ordered me. I breathed in and blew as hard as I could
into a tiny tube connected to an electronic device with some
digital numbers on it. I blew and blew, but the numbers did not
show any signs of life. The two men were really disappointed
by the test result, so they insisted I was not blowing hard
enough. I breathed in again and strongly blew out all the air I
had in my lungs. I did it three or four times. I was exhausted!…
I didn’t even have the time to tell them they made a terrible
mistake, that in a few seconds, after staring at the breathalyzer
which showed zero point zero zero-0,00, they ran away without
even apologizing.
So come on! You could have understood I wasn’t drunk
without being so rude! The fact is that I was a bit scared by
being stopped by the police for the first time in two years that
perhaps I behaved in a strange way. Anyway, I learned the
lesson! Now I know whenever I drive Miklabraut, I ought to
remember not to drive too slowly, because policemen will stop
me. They won’t if you exceed the speed limit! If it happens to
you to be drunk, just drive fast and the police won’t stop you!
Just kidding!
Michele Broccia
Dear Michele:
This is a truly strange story. Are you absolutely sure, sir, that
you aren’t drunk right now? Luckily, many of us at Grapevine
do not have cars, so we can probably avoid detainment on Mik-
labraut, either for driving too fast *or* too slow. Unless there is
a law against walking while drunk…in which case, maybe we
better start running home.
Yours in sobriety and haste,
The Grapevine
Issue 18 — 2013 4

YOUR PRIZE FOR THAT MOST AWESOME LETTER OF YOURS IS:
A THREE COURSE MEAL WITH WINE AND A COCKTAIL AT BORG RESTAURANT
Now. Whoever wrote this issue’s MOST AWESOME LETTER gets a prize. And it’s
a pretty great one. A three course meal for two at BORG RESTAURANT, including
a glass of wine and a coctail apéritif! So as you can see, the greatness of this
prize knows no bounds. BORG was just awarded best place to go for a coctail and
their chef is apparently one of those TV-rockstar type chefs that are always up to
something delicious (without being a dick about it, we hear). Lucky, lucky winner!
And if you for some reason didn’t write this issue’s MOST AWESOME LETTER,
you can always try for next time. Just write us at letters@grapevine.is