Reykjavík Grapevine - 06.12.2013, Side 28

Christmas Time With The
Grumpiest Man In Reykjavík
28The Reykjavík Grapevine Issue 18 — 2013
On Iceland
M: Whose idea was this?
A: It came up at an editorial meeting. We
were pitching stories and the idea was
presented so we cast the net on Face-
book to find the grumpiest. Some said it
might be you.
M: Yeah, I thought that it might have
been directed at me.
A: Why do you think people see you as the
grumpiest?
M: I don’t know? I don’t think I’m
grumpy, I think I’m just very enthusi-
astic about the things I don’t like. I’m
just very critical.
A: So you think there’s a distinct differ-
ence between being critical and being
grumpy. Do you find yourself having to
explain this to people?
M: Oh yes. Well, I’m often called neg-
ative, which I never understood be-
cause I consider myself quite enthu-
siastic in general. I mean, negative to
me would be someone who is always
depressed, which I’m not.
A: What are the things you’re particularly
positive about?
M: There are a lot of things I’m par-
ticularly positive about, I just talk
more about the things I don’t like, but
usually for humorous purposes. I get
easily irritated by things that most
people don’t. Some things just set me
off - like pictures of food on Facebook
- I can’t deal with that.
A: Who inspired your grump?
M: I’m not sure. My dad is Scottish
and he’s been living in France for 45
years or so, and he’s still very critical
of the French, and I used to ask him,
“Why do you live in France if you don’t
like it?” and I’ve often been asked
that about Iceland, and I don’t know
- criticizing something doesn’t mean
you don’t like it.
A: Ok, so after seven years you don’t ‘love’
Iceland
M: No, I wouldn’t say I do. I just hap-
pen to live here because you have
to live somewhere and I’d rather live
here than Uzbekistan or something.
On Christmas
A: What is your happiest Christmas mem-
ory?
M: I guess any Christmas before I was
of age to buy stuff for other people.
A: So the time when you were just receiv-
ing.
M: Yeah, and now it’s just tedious. I
mean, I’ve never been a big fan of
Christmas since that point when
you had to start thinking about other
people and gifts and so on. I’ve never
liked Christmas. I guess now I see it
as a family gathering and I enjoy if
for that, more or less. I go back [to
France] every year to see my rela-
tives and I couldn’t imagine celebrat-
ing Christmas in Iceland.
A: Have you ever spent a Christmas in
Iceland?
M: Never. I wouldn’t. I think there’s
something particularly dreadful
about that.
A: How do you feel about Christmas mu-
sic?
M: Hate it.
A: So you’ve never gone caroling or any-
thing?
M: No, no, no. This time last year, my
flatmate subletted her room for a few
weeks and I was on holiday in Malta.
I got an email from Vodafone say-
ing that I had reached my download
limit. So I emailed the guy subletting
the room and asked, “What’s going
on? We’ve reached the limit,” and he
said, “Oh, well I’ve been downloading
Christmas music.”
He had downloaded 15 fucking
gigabytes of Christmas music. How
could anyone download 15 gigabytes
of Christmas music?
On The New Year
A: What about the New Year?
M: New Years is just the worst party
ever. It’s that time of the year where
everyone is supposed to go out or
party or celebrate nothing in particu-
lar, you know? They’re not celebrat-
ing anything.
A: Well they’re celebrating the start of the
New Year.
M: Yeah but what does that mean?
A: You have probably been to worse
theme parties than a New Year’s party.
M: Actually no. The thing is, everyone
is celebrating and I think what hap-
pens - and why I find New Year’s Eve
so shitty - is that this includes people
who usually don’t celebrate, people
who usually do not go out and party,
and they just kind of tone down the
party for everyone else. Like, the par-
ty is shitty because the people at the
party are really shitty.
A: So it would be better to not have them?
M: Might as well, yeah. But you do it
anyway and it’s just stressful. I’ll cel-
ebrate in Poland this year. Last year,
I was stuck in France because I lost
my passport so I stayed there, which
wasn’t planned, and usually I orga-
nize a party every year…
A: Wait, wait – that goes against EVERY-
THING you just said.
M: Yeah, well, it’s because I don’t
want to go to a shitty party. So I pre-
fer organizing the shitty party myself
On The Meaning Of It All
A: What is the most gracious or generous
thing you’ve done over the holidays for
someone?
M: Must one wait for Christmas to do
gracious things? Sounds like some-
thing people do in American sitcoms.
A: What do you hope people remember
this holiday season?
M: Don’t expect anything special
from anyone.

A: What do you believe is the true mean-
ing of Christmas?
M: It’s to alleviate the emotional
pains of winter with some paltry en-
tertainment.
Words
Alex Baumhardt
In order to curb the disgusting amount of holiday cheer you all have, we wanted to get
some perspective from the grumpiest person in Reykjavík. We put out the call for Grumps
on Facebook and you delivered us a familiar friend: 30-year-old Malcolm Kenneth Fraser,
from Lille, France, who has lived in Iceland for the past seven years. Below are his thoughts
on Christmas, New Years and what ‘grumpy’ really means.
Laugavegur 54
Xmas
Alísa Kalyanova