Reykjavík Grapevine - 18.05.2012, Blaðsíða 4

HI,
I AM A NEWFOUNDLAND FISH-
ERMAN AND TODAY MY GRAND-
DAUGHTER AND I FOUND A LET-
TER IN A BOTTLE THAT WAS
THROWN OVERBOARD OFF ICE-
LAND ON NOVEMBER 19, 2009.
MY GRANDDAUGHTER WOULD
REALLY ,LIKE TO CONTACT THE
LITTLE GIRL WHO SEND THE LET-
TER ( BY WAY OF HER FRIEND’S FA-
THER WHO IS ALSO A FISHERMAN
). HERE IS THE INFORMATION WE
HAVE.
THIS CHILD IS NAMED LARUS
AND WENT TO A PLAYSCHOOL
CALLED HOLT IN INNRI, NJAROV-
IK. HE/SHE WOULD BE 5 NOW AND
WOULD GREATLY APPRECIATE
KNOWING THE BOTTLE WITH THE
NOTE MADE IT ALL THE WAY TO
NEWFOUNDLAND, CANADA.
I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO REACH
THIS PERSON, BUT PERHAPS YOU
COULD HELP.
THANKS, DAVID BOYD
YOU MAY CHECK OUT MY WEBSITE
FOR CONTACT INFO

WWW.PRIMEBERTH.COM
Dear David Boyd,
This is awesome. This is so awesome
that you have just won yourself TWO
PAIRS of WOOLLEN SOCKS FROM
GEYSIR (one for yourself and one for
your granddaughter, perhaps). Wow, we
thought everything we threw out to sea
ended up in Greenland or some island
of trash like the Great Pacific Garbage
Patch (AKA the Pacific Trash Vortex),
which floats around the Pacific. Any-
ways, we have so many questions! Like,
what did the message say?
To clear up: Larus from Holt í innri
Njarðvík is definitely a boy. No little
girl in Iceland could possibly be called
Larus. In Iceland, girls are not allowed
to have boy’s names and boys and not al-
lowed to have girl’s names. There is ac-
tually a special Naming Committee that
oversees all of this. However, if you are
a boy that feels trapped in a girl’s body,
you can have gender corrective surgery
after undergoing a series of interviews
that are meant to determine whether or
not your feelings are merited (it’s a bit
more complicated than that, of course.
You can read more about it on page ten,
where we interview Anna Kristjánsdót-
tir, the first Icelander to undergo sexual
reassignment surgery. Her story is fas-
cinating and inspiring).
ANYWAY. We’re not sure how to reach
him/her, BUT it’s actually probably not
too difficult. We are a fairly small coun-
try and if she really is called Larus, well
then there certainly aren’t more than
one of those at school (and even if it’s
a boy called Larus. There are not a lot
of people in Innri Njarðvík). Hopefully
one of Larus’ relatives will spot this let-
ter and pass it on! Let us know if they
do, and remember to write us about the
woollen socks!
Say your piece, voice your
opinion, send your letters to:
letters@grapevine.is
Sour
grapes
& stuff
MOST AWESOME LETTER:
MOST AWESOME LETTER
TWO FREE PAIRS OF WOOLLEN SOCKS!!!11!
There's a wonderful new prize for all your MOST AWESOME LETTERS.
What kind of prize, you ask? THE BEST KIND OF PRIZE THERE IS: FREE
WOOLLEN SOCKS! TWO PAIRS OF FREE WOOLLEN SOCKS!
Yes, this lovely prize will keep your feet warm and cosy
throughout your stay in Iceland and in any subsequent places you might
go that sometimes get cold. And these aren’t just any old woollen socks
either, these are the colourful, wonderful, extra-long kind from
Geysir (for inspiration, why not go check them out at the Geysir store
on Skólavörðustígur before you write your AWESOME LETTER?).
Congratulations to whoever had MOST AWESOME LETTER for
this issue, you should drop us a line at letters@grapevine.is and
enquire how you collect your free socks! And if you’re in the market for
some socks come next issue, why not write us a wonderful reader letter
to that same address. Like Axl Rose said: “It’s so easy!”

Dear Grapevine,
I just returned home from a trip to your
island. We had a fantastic time, but I
would like to point out one aspect of our
trip which left us (the majority of our
party) feeling...well... a bit violated. It is
the practice of having your guests strip
nude in front of other people in order
to swim in the geo-thermal pools. An
older Icelandic woman even had the au-
dacity to show me where the soap was.
I am a clean person, who bathes regu-
larly and being subjected to this made
me feel horrible. Where can Americans
who are not used to stripping nude in
front of other people swim in Iceland
and have you all considered how this
infringes on our rights to be modest
and in several cases our religious be-
liefs?
Sincerley,
Shirley Tatum, San Antonio Texas,
U.S.A.
Dear Shirley Prude Tatum,
If you don’t feel comfortable showering
before taking a dip in our swimming
pools, we kindly ask you to stay out of
them. People like you are ruining our
swimming pool experience. Nobody
wants to swim around in somebody
else’s filth. It just totally grosses us out.
As the signs in the showering area
CLEARLY show, you must wash all six-
body parts before entering the pool. In
case you missed them, it’s simple; they
are all of the ones that grow hair.
Bottom line, we Icelanders take
great pride in our personal hygiene,
and our right to have clean pool water
trumps your right to be prude and your
right to worship The Swamp Thing or
whatever entity it is that forbids you to
shower in public.
Seriously, though, is that in the
Bible somewhere? Did the same Lord
who allegedly created all of our won-
derful bodies (you should see some of
those bodies He worked on, they look
frickin' GREAT. Praise unto Him) de-
clare somewhere in His scripture that
they were EVIL and to be hid away for
all eternity? That doesn’t sound like
Him at all. Frankly, it seems ludicrous
to suggest that the same omniscient,
omnipotent entity that once declared:
“Bring forth him that hath cursed with-
out the camp; and let all that heard him
lay their hands upon his head, and let
all the congregation stone him.” (Le-
viticus 24:14) would find something
shameful about the human body (or
about showering in public for that mat-
ter) that He created in His image.
THAT SAID, we hear you can prob-
ably shower behind a curtain in a few
select pools, like Laugardalslaug and at
The Blue Lagoon. But you should still
stay out of our pools, prudey.
Good day!
I was disappointed to see that the
Grapevine's bad advice column, Don't
Ask Nanna, was not included in this
month's issue. Does that mean it's no
longer a feature?
-John Evicci
Dracut, Massachusetts
USA

Dear John Evicci,
Thank you for your letter. It’s nice
to hear from our readers, especially
when they enjoy what we’re writing.
That said, we enjoy angry letters too.
They are pretty fun to read and answer.
We imagine the Don’t Ask Nanna col-
umn makes some people laugh while
it makes others, such as Miss Shirley
Tatum with her phobia of the human
body, squirm in their seat. Perhaps
the next letter we get with regard to
Nanna will come from a poor tourist
who followed her bad advice to prison.
Anyways, to answer your question: The
Don’t Ask Nanna column is definitely
still around and she’s on page 24 in this
issue. Enjoy!
If anybody has a question for Nan-
na, she’d love to give you some bad ad-
vice. Her email address is Nanna.arna-
dottir@gmail.com.
Come back and visit us soon!
Ms Ásta R. Jóhannesdóttir
Honourable Speaker of Althingi,
Parliament of Iceland
Dear Madame Speaker,
I am aware that there is a proposal in
the Icelandic Parliament calling for the
government to formally acknowledge
the genocide of Armenians committed
by the Ottoman Empire in 1915. (*1)
Born in Paris, I am a descendant
of survivors of this genocide. I am sin-
cerely touched by this Icelandic pro-
posal which is an another friendly step
helping Armenians to their mourning
period. A genocide drives out death and
replaces it by murder and deshuman-
isation. A genocide breaks the human
chain of transmissibility, death being
the natural link which joins genera-
tions to each other.(*2) I also would like
to recall that Assyrian-Arameans and
Pontic Greeks of the Ottoman Empire
were victims of the genocidal program
of the Young Turks Government too.
(*3) This genocidal program was not
based on muslim religion but on a ra-
cial ideology called pantouranism.(*4)
The Armenian, Assyrian-Aramean
and Pontic Greek mournings will really
begin when Turkey recognizes these 3
genocides : as in 1970 Willy Brandt
kneeled in front of the Warsaw Monu-
ment dedicated to the Victims of Na-
zism.
Lastly, I would like to take the op-
portunity with this e-mail to acknowl-
edge that in Iceland there were three
Armenian Archibishops living during
the XI century. Their names were Pe-
trus, Abraham and Stephanus and they
are quoted in Íslendingabók of Ari
Thorgilsson Frodi (1068-1148).
Sincerely yours.
Nil Agopoff,
- Historical Consultant of the Arme-
nian National Veterans and Resistants
Association of France (ANACRA)
- Member of the Board of Directors of
UCFAF (Union culturelle française des
Arméniens de France founded in Paris
in 1949)
Dear Nil Agopoff,
thank you for your letter. It’s hard to
disagree with anything you say or make
light of it at all. So we won’t. Hopefully,
Alþingi will pass this worthy proposal.
Taste the freshness
of a farmer’s market
Housed in one of the city’s oldest buildings, Fish
Market uses ingredients sourced directly from
the nation’s best farms, lakes, and sea to create
unforgettable Icelandic dishes with a modern twist.
AÐALSTRÆTI 12 | +354 578 8877 | FISHMARKET.IS
2008
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