Reykjavík Grapevine - 28.08.2015, Qupperneq 4

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LOVELIEST LETTER
FREE GRAPEVINE TEE HEE HEE!
This Issue's Most
Awesome Letter!
Dear team at grapevine,
First of all having a source of informa-
tion about ones travel destination is
a relief and an eye opener for all the
hidden treasures of the host culture and
even a country's mindset.
The latter part though leaves me
stunned...coming from Germany I
enjoyed eight days of pure nature trav-
elling along the ring road. Untouched
wild northern sceneries made me fall
in love with Iceland. Then I started
reading about the tourist defecation
issue and how pressing this problem
appears to be. Well, I can assure you not
only that even on the famous ring road
tourist appearance in the last week has
proven way below anything considered
"massive tourism" in other countries
but also I have never seen anybody
doing the free nature release thing.
Nobody. Not even remains of such
disrespectful behaviour were sighted.
However, it was surprising how few
public toilets for "all these tourists" are
found along the road, gas stations being
the only sure point for human relief.
My advice thus would be: instead of
making fun of it or rubbing this issue
all over the tourists face and starting to
develop apps not solving the issue but
acting as watchdog one might consider
a constructive straight forward way of
developing easy to use and clean mobile
public toilet that also from a design
point of view fits into the wonderful
Icelandic scenery.
Jm2c
Sebastian Eckert
Dear Sebastian,
Thanks for writing, and for your
kind words.
You are right, Iceland isn’t really
THAT crowded with tourists, at
least compared to what you’ll find
in places like, uh, Times Square or
Piccadilly Circus.
But, have you ever been to Times
Square or Piccadilly Circus? Those
places are vile, disgusting, foul,
putrid, de-humanizing, smelly and
vicious (in that exact order). They
attract the dredges of humanity;
the worst-of-the-worst suburban
dreck from all over the globe, mind-
less homunculi that feel implored
to “travel” because they’ve seen
people do it on TV (which they obey
and emulate after spending their
entire lives being conditioned in
capitalist internment camps, the
Consumer’s Categorical Impera-
tive relentlessly hammered into
their soft skulls since they slithered
out of their mother’s toxic wombs),
but cannot—even for a fraction
of a second—fathom leaving the
safety of their focus-grouped,
target-marketed, SEO-optimized,
user-friendly, branded, copyrighted
and trademarked corporate run
comfort zones and contend with Ac-
tual Human Culture; to the point of
their travels consisting of nowt but
experiencing their favourite chain
feeding pens in slightly different cli-
mates than they are accustomed to
(and even that is rendered meaning-
less by the now-omnipresent Cen-
tral Air Conditioners), surrounded
by their favourite corporate mas-
cots, as their favourite formulaic
shiny, soul-less garbage robot hits
blare from tastefully out-of-sight
speakers.
Which is to say: ew.
Anyway, the Gullfoss parking
lot is certainly nothing like those
places, and this is a good thing for
which we are grateful. You’re right,
the present situation is No Big
Deal. However, you can’t blame the
locals for getting a little spooked as
they face the exponential growth
of Iceland’s tourism industry on
a daily basis, with all the minor
growing pains that entails (things
have changed quite a bit over the
past decade, and change always
entails a period of adjustment, and
it’s always a little painful, right?).
At least, it’s better that they’re
voicing their concerns in public and
engaging in healthy discussion, even
though some of what’s said might
at times feel misguided. Hopefully,
such a discussion will lead to some
clear policymaking and necessary
legal and regulatory reform.

While we appreciate your sugges-
tions and hear what you’re saying,
we’ll probably keep reporting on
stories about defecating tourists
and shit like that. Because, c’mon,
they’re news stories about poop!
How amazing is that! Such ample
opportunity to have fun and joke
around (did you catch our “POOP
NEWS” supplement? What a clas-
sic!).
ANYWAY, thanks for writing! And
if you happen to come up with any
cool ideas for an “easy to use and
clean mobile public toilet that also
from a design point of view fits into
the wonderful Icelandic scenery,” do
pass them along!
Love,
Your Friends At The Reykjavík
Grapevine
PS – get in touch to receive your
fancy prize for writing such a nice
letter!
Say your piece, voice your
opinion, send your letters to:
letters@grapevine.is
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