Reykjavík Grapevine - 28.08.2015, Page 16

16 The Reykjavík Grapevine
Issue 13 — 2015
If you’ve never heard of Betty Anne Dod-
son (BAD), this article may just change
your life. At the fantastically advanced
age of 85, Ms. Dodson has been there and
done everything. She is a sex-positive
feminist pioneer (introducing the vibra-
tor into the mainstream world), mastur-
bation advocate, sexual educator (with a
PhD to prove it), controversial artist and
author.
And she is coming to Iceland!
Ahead of her appearance as keynote
speaker for the upcoming Nordic Associ-
ation of Clinical Sexology (NACS) confer-
ence held in Reykjavik this October, we
asked Ms. Dodson to share some sexual
wisdom.
Nords do it better
(Maybe)
Have you had much exposure to
the Nordic regions’ attitudes and
culture around sex? What, if any,
are the main differences you can
note between American and Nor-
dic sex cultures?
Carlin [Ross, Betty’s business partner
and co-editor of the website www.dod-
sonandross.com] and I have spent time
in Oslo, and in the past I made several
trips to Amsterdam. While the laws are
far more liberal than ours, the basic life-
styles of monogamous marriages still
dominate. During my last presentation
in Oslo, we thought we'd really bombed
but were later told that Norwegians don't
show open enthusiasm. Afterward, many
came up to express their appreciation,
while during my talk, they all remained
very reserved.
While those brought up in Nordic
sex culture think of themselves as sexu-
ally liberated, they unknowingly base
their sex information on the male model
of sexuality, i.e. a penis inside a vagina.
This is basically the pro-creative model, a
sex style that rarely results in orgasm for
most women.
The average age of first time
heterosexual penile-vaginal sex
for Icelanders is 15.6, apparently
a world record. As an advocate for
using masturbation as a way to
learn about your sexuality and en-
hance sexual satisfaction, do you
believe there is a link between be-
ginning partner sex at a younger
age and sexual satisfaction/dis-
satisfaction?
Personally I think 15.6 is basically a
young girl getting “fucked,” which pro-
duces an ejaculation for the boy, confu-
sion for both and utter dissatisfaction for
her. What country teaches sexual plea-
sure, which would mean “Orgasms for
Two?” That’s the title of my second book
that is still available at Amazon, but never
really sold that well. Seems the world is
not THAT interested in both parties en-
joying orgasms.
While we know Mother Nature (or
biology) supports the continuation of her
species, a penis inside a vagina gets top
billing. That's what we call a “sex drive.”
HOWEVER, when it comes to end plea-
sure, it's more likely to happen for the
boy, but rarely the girl. Most young boys
today are obsessed with “making a girl
come” which gave rise to female ejacula-
tion as a sure sign. But squirting is NOT
the same as having an orgasm.
First, a girl must have some form of
birth control or she'll end up with a teen
pregnancy. While the teens are an ideal
time to procreate, physically, neither
the girl nor the boy are ready to become
parents. Unless she has explored her
sexual body via masturbation, most teen
girls are pre-orgasmic. Meanwhile, most
boys have discovered that marvelous toy
hanging down between their legs and
they are already happy masturbators.
They can't wait to get their penises in-
side a warm wet vagina to prove they’re
a man—not just a wanker!
Listen and learn
What would be your best piece of
advice for teenagers in Iceland in
regards to sex?
Masturbate freely and privately without
shame or guilt. Ideally sharing manual
sex between teens is a great way to begin
their sex lives. They can talk about what
they liked and what worked. If kids ad-
vance to oral sex, it must be mutual. Once
birth control is in place, intercourse with
some kind of clitoral stimulation before,
during or after is usually necessary in or-
der for the girl to enjoy her orgasm. Sex
educators MUST challenge the elusive
“vaginal orgasm” and put Freud in his
place as misguided. If
it happens, great, but it
is NOT the gold stan-
dard of sex.
Dodson and Ross
promote clitoral stim-
ulation with vaginal
penetration at the
same time. While
there are a few women
who do not want their
clits to be touched,
I suspect it's due to
clumsy handling by
an unsuspecting partner. Women need to
show their lovers what they like instead
of faking orgasms. More communication
as well as lubrication!
In your recently released memoir
[‘Betty Dodson: My Sexual Mem-
oir’, 2014], you talk about how you
learnt early on that for you alcohol
and sex weren’t a good mix. Ice-
landers are infamous for forging a
link between severe drunkenness
and sex from a pretty early age.
What advice would you have in
regards to alcohol and sex?
Alcohol is a stupid drug because it's a de-
pressant. While it lowers our inhibitions
most of us don't know when to stop. The
person takes a drink and then the drink
takes a drink. I am a BIG supporter of
marijuana as the perfect aphrodisiac. Al-
though it's rare in my experience, pot can
also be overdone. The ideal situation will
always be two healthy young bodies con-
sciously exploring sexual pleasures with-
out shame or guilt with both being able to
discuss what feels good, better and best,
sexually speaking.
Make love, not war
After decades as a sex educator, do
you believe attitudes towards sex
have changed much for the better
since you began your work, and
how/why not?
I wish I could report more progress, but
alas, I cannot. The main obstacles I see
are organised religion and conservative
governments; both are authoritarian in
order for a few to control many. Until
society agrees that masturbation is the
foundation for all sexual activity, we will
remain in the dark ages of sex with the
ability to enjoy our orgasms alone, with
a partner and in a group setting. Sexual
pleasure is an antidote to violence.
What's next for Betty Dodson?
To continue expanding Dodson and
Ross’s “Army of Orgasmic Women” by
making Bodysex Workshops available
worldwide. It entails women teaching
sex to women via
first-person sharing.
Once a woman un-
derstands her sexual
response, she can then
show her individual
lover(s). This process
will eventually re-
place pornography as
the primary source of
sex education, which
has been devastating
for women. Online
porn is simply jerk-off
entertainment based on male fantasies
that do NOT factor in women's desires or
sexual needs.
You have achieved so much and
helped so many people—will you
ever get to rest on your laurels and
bask in your achievements? You
deserve to be made a modern-day
secular saint of some sort!
Actually I'm aiming for a Nobel Peace
Prize for ending the war between the
sexes. Unfortunately, many of us first
learn about violence within our nuclear
families. It's the rare household that
functions with equality in work, play,
money and sexual pleasures. Women are
a long way off from being equal to men.
Yes, we have made some strides and I'm
grateful for that. My hope for the future
lies with the kids growing up with the
internet. WikiLeaks and the hacktivists
have shown us new possibilities with
freedom of information. It's time we
include freedom of sexual information
from women's perspectives, that will lead
to more happy orgasms for everyone who
wants them.
---
Betty truly believes in sexual informa-
tion being freely available. Her website
(www.dodsonandross.com) is a wealth
of information on any sexual topic you
could imagine (including zoophillia. You
have been warned). So this October, if you
see a foxy octogenarian strolling down
Laugavegur, feel free to thank her for (as
her MO states), “liberating women one or-
gasm at a time.” Surely that is something
we can all get excited about.
An Icelander, an Australian and a Yank walk into a bar.
The Icelander (a few drinks ahead of the others, naturally)
brags: “Sex is so great here. We start the earliest in the
world, we have liberal attitudes, and LET’S GET DRUNK
AND SHAG.” The Australian blushes and drinks a beer, as
both are shushed by the American, silver-haired, 85 years
old and sober. “Y’all know nothing. Gather round and
learn from the Godmother of Masturbation.”
Sex | Goddess
"Most young boys
today are obsessed
with “making a girl
come” which gave
rise to female ejacula-
tion as a sure sign.
But squirting is NOT
the same as having an
orgasm. "
NACS And
You
Intrigued by what exactly societies of
sexologists do? Want to know more about
the upcoming sex conference? So did
we! We had a chat to NACS’s Sigga Dögg
about sex in the sagas, experts and "sex
days."
What are the main topics being
discussed at the conference this
year with its theme 'Sexual Ex-
pression and Pleasure'?
The topics range from HIV prevention,
determinants of female orgasm, sex in
the Icelandic sagas, lifestyle group sex,
premature ejaculation, sexual desire and
satisfaction, sexual pleasure to erotica in
art. Anything and everything related to
sex in one form or another will be dis-
cussed by leading experts in the field of
sexology.
What does NACS believe are the
biggest issues in terms of Nordic
sex culture in 2015? What are the
hot topics?
Hot topics include getting local gov-
ernments to formalise and standardise
sexual education for kids and teenagers,
along with ensuring that a qualified pro-
fessional reviews the material and trains
the teachers who teach sex education.
NACS works hard to maintain a profes-
sional field of sexologists that have the
appropriate training. A lot of people enjoy
talking about sex and are often self-titled
"sexperts.” However, they might not have
had any formal education or training. Sex
positivity is the name of the game and all
the countries involved want to work hard
to support and learn from one another to
further the field of sexology. Funding is
always a hot topic in relations to free clin-
ics, education and counselling for sexual
health matters.
With the conference being held
in Iceland this year, how do Ice-
landic sexologists aim to impress
sexologists from the other Nordic
countries?
There are three certified sexologists in
Iceland, but many more specialists work-
ing in the field, although they lack a de-
gree. In my opinion, the fact that Betty
Dodson agreed to attend in a heartbeat
shows how the Icelandic sexologists
think and just go do, without hesitation.
She is one of the queens of sexology and
even though we are a small organisation,
Kynís (the Icelandic sexology associa-
tion) is still a relevant and powerful voice
in the international community. Kynís
hosts Sex Days (“Sex Dagar”) biannually,
where six sex related events are held on
as many days. Last year that included a
shibari show and an open mic night in a
local bookstore, where authors of books
on sexuality read from their books. I be-
lieve that this year’s conference will be
amazing—whenever 100 or more sex-
ologists gather, you’ll find some serious
laughter and raunchy jokes.
The NACS conference will be held in Reyk-
javik on October 1-4. Find more informa-
tion here: http://events.artegis.com/lw/el
/730c4ef97b0f7eabbb80880ae992e598/
Welcome%20page.html
Betty Dodson Will
Teach You To Sex
Correctly
Words by Melissa Coci
Photos courtesy of Betty Dodson
Reykjavik Natura
Icelandair Hotels
https://events.artegis.com/
event/NACS2015October 1-4The NACS conference