Reykjavík Grapevine - 04.05.2007, Page 12

1_RVK_GV_05_007_TRAVEL
Prior to my life-altering, three-month backpacking
trip to Southeast Asia, I was aware of the strict smok-
ing laws in Singapore. But since I was not planning
on going there and nothing suggested the situation
was similar in other countries I was visiting, I set off a
happy smoker, looking forward to many smoke-filled
and joyous days in the sun. Upon arrival in Bangkok,
Thailand’s capital, I was pleased to note that smok-
ers smoked on the streets without much trouble and
that most restaurants were also smoke free. After all,
that is how I like my restaurants. Soon my partner
and I headed off to the tropical paradise island Ko
Pha Ngan, famous for being home to the biggest rave
parties in the universe, held every full moon. Our goal
was of a different kind though, as my partner planned
on enrolling in a weeklong detox programme in a hip-
pie place called the Sanctuary. The detox programme
consisted of drinking mud shakes, eating nothing,
and, to top off the fun times, rinsing your colon with
coffee twice a day.
Taking my cue from her healthy lifestyle, I decided
in a delirious state of mind that I should quit smoking.
Which I did. For the next five weeks I did not smoke a
single cigarette. Now I am not a casual smoker, I have
smoked close to a pack a day for the last 13 years,
so this was no small feat. These were enjoyable five
weeks, although I did regret a little not being able
to sample the local tobacco in Laos, which included
some exotic brands. My travels then took me to Viet-
nam and five weeks after my decision I found myself
in the bustling capital Ho Chi Minh City. Angelina Jo-
lie the humanitarian was in town shopping for a new
minion in the Brangelina army and my deluded mind
took this as a sure sign that I should take up smok-
ing again. Sitting outside the massive Sheraton hotel,
where Angelina was staying, way out of my finan-
cial reach – even in Vietnam – I fired up a local cigar
and fantasised about Angelina and her surely exciting
life.
Newfound Freedom
My new freedom meant that in Cambodia, my next
stop, I was able to taste the unexciting brand Libera-
tion, which frankly tastes like dried horse shit. But
these were easy places to be in for a smoker. Every-
body and their grandmother smoked, so I fitted in
rather nicely. My partner frowned upon this, hav-
ing enjoyed being around a non-smoker for over a
month. But life isn’t fair, and to her credit she is fully
aware of that fact and left the bickering about my
habit to a bare minimum.
After some very enjoyable smoking in Cambodia it
was time to head back to Thailand for the last days of
the journey. I spent twenty days taking in Bangkok,
which is an exciting place to be in. There I smoked
on the streets with locals and tourists alike, carefree
and happy. On my last day I ventured to the city’s
shopping centres for some last minute purchases. I
was hell bent on acquiring a mobile phone and the
massive MBK shopping mall was the perfect place to
go. MBK must have the biggest selection of mobile
phones in the entire universe. I am more fussy about
mobile phones than I am about cigarette brands, but
after a few hours I managed to find a phone I both
like liked and could afford.
Any smoker can tell you that they would rather
be outside smoking than inside shopping so it should
come as no surprise that I fired up as soon as I got
out. Usually I exited at ground level, but this time I
was going to take the futuristic sky-train to my ant-in-
fested guesthouse, so I took the exit on a walkway on
the third level where I noticed a few smokers indulg-
ing themselves by the door and took that as a clear
sign that it would be ok to smoke.
That was my mistake. Soon after I had extin-
guished my cigarette a surly, young policeman ap-
proached me and pointed me to an even surlier look-
ing colleague of his. I was asked to sit down and the
interrogation began. “Do you smoke a lot?” Yes, I
said, instantly thinking of Sir Mix-A-Lot, snickering at
my own wit. “In Thailand it is forbidden to smoke!”
he said, instantly setting me straight. I stammered
something incomprehensible. “Where are you stay-
ing? How long in Thailand?” I instinctively lied about
the length of my stay, hoping that the policeman
would take pity on the novice traveller. He did not.
He explained to me that I would have to pay a 2000
baht fine, roughly equal to 4000 ISK, the same price
I had paid for a new mobile phone minutes earlier. I
swallowed hard while he shuffled some papers in a
manner only people with authority can do. He then
explained that there were two ways to handle this. I
could go with him to the police station and fill out a
report, which would result in my name and picture
“being available on the internet”, or I could pay him
and everyone would live happily ever after, not add-
ing that he could then buy a new mobile phone, but
I got the hint. I hesitated for a second and then paid
the man. He quickly pocketed the money and shook
my hand, smiling and waving as I left for the train.
The Most Expensive Cigarette
I Have Ever Smoked
Text by Páll Hilmarsson
Angelina Jolie the humani-
tarian was in town shop-
ping for a new minion in the
Brangelina army and my
deluded mind took this as a
sure sign that I should take
up smoking again.
C
M
Y
CM
MY
CY
CMY
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midi-concerts.pdf 4/11/07 10:55:30 AM
How to drive in Iceland
A relatively large percentage of foreign tourists in Iceland travel
around the country by car. Conditions in Iceland are in many ways
unusual, and often quite unlike that which foreign drivers are
accustomed. It is therefore very important to find out how to drive in
this country. We know that the landscapes are beautiful, which
naturally draws the attention of driver away from the road. But in
order to reach your destination safely, you must keep your full
attention on driving.
Gravel roads, blind hills & blind curves
A common place for accidents to
occur on urban roads is where a
paved road suddenly changes to
gravel. The main reason is that
drivers do not reduce speed
before the changeover to gravel,
and consequently lose control.
Loose gravel on road shoulders
has also caused a great number of
accidents. When driving on gravel
roads—which are often quite
narrow––it is important to show
caution when approaching
another car coming from the
opposite direction
by moving as far
to the right as is
safely possible.
Blind hills––where
lanes are not
separate––can be very dangerous,
and should be approached with
caution. There are also many blind
curves in Iceland that test a
driver’s skill.
ROAD TRAFFIC DIRECTORATE