Reykjavík Grapevine - 13.11.2015, Síða 6

6
The Reykjavík Grapevine
Issue 1 — 2011
Tel: +354 511 2600 · info@bustravel.is · bustravel.is
ALL
SEASON
S!
Glacier Lagoon
Jökulsárlón
– Day tour –
This great tour takes us along the impressive south
shore of Iceland to the extraordinary Glacier Lagoon.
Availability . . . . . . . Saturdays
Pick up starts . . . . . 07:00am
Duration. . . . . . . . . . 14 hours
Price. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18.500 ISK
I C E L A N D 4 D U M M I E S
Fart | Brrrrrraaaapp!
6
Th Reykjavík Grapevine
Issue 17 — 2015
This past month sure has been a
busy one where immigration is con-
cerned. Over these past few weeks,
we saw a Vietnamese couple ac-
cused of having a sham marriage (an
accusation that was revealed to be
way off the mark), and the impending
deportations of two asylum-seeking
families: one from Albania, and the
other from Syria. That’s right, Syria:
the country from whence Iceland
intends to voluntarily bring in an un-
told number of refugees. At the time
of writing, the two families are still
in a state of limbo, but at least the
Vietnamese couple had their mar-
riage validated as legitimate and real
and based on love—by bureaucrats
working in an immigration office.
Speaking of international head-
lines, one story that spread like
wildfire was Minister of Finance
Bjarni Benediktsson proposing
to members of the Independence
Party (which he chairs) that every
Icelander be paid about 30,000 ISK
(about $230) from the proposed
sale of the State’s recently acquired
bank, Íslandsbanki. The government
handing out cash might make for
fine image macro and Iceland-Meme
material, until you consider that this
money represents 5% of the govern-
ment’s soon-to-be 100% share in the
bank, divided by 320,000. Kind of
like how if you and your buddies all
chipped in to buy a keg, and then the
guy who brought the keg back of-
fered everyone a single red Solo cup
of beer, but kept the rest for himself.
Not such a great deal now, is it?
The IKEA Christmas goat re-
turned to our fair shores to grace
the property in front of the store’s
By Paul Fontaine
NEWS
IN
BRIEF
Continues Over...
Some Iceland Things That Scare Americans
By The American Intern
Letters that don’t look like our letters
Maybe ‘ð’ and ‘þ’ both make sounds we
can easily pronounce, but those sym-
bols still look weird and alien, almost
Lovecraftian. And make us uncomfort-
able. Like public nudity.
The lack of Fritos
Doritos are a poor substitute and you
know it, Iceland. I want my corn chips
and I want them slightly curled. Also, am
I really complaining about this? Wow,
being American sure is, uh, something.
European fashion
How do you dance in those black super
thick-soled heel things? This is a serious
question. I have a pair and I fell once.
Card readers, apparently?
Some customer at my workplace: “I don’t
understand you people or your card ma-
chines.” Sorry, Californian. This is one
of those situations where ‘you people’
doesn’t cut it. Just stick the damn thing
in and be done with it already. Some
people have work in the morning.
Accessible healthcare
Meep.
Ghosts
Though, those are almost always scary.
"Fertugsaldri"
Ragnar Egilsson Explains Some Words!
When referring to a person’s age (the
verb is “dilapidating”), we sometimes
refer to the decade of existence that
person is currently struggling through
instead of using their exact age. Howev-
er, the name of the age bracket is always
dictated by that decade’s upper limit. So,
if you’re 21, people say you’re on “þrí-
tugsaldur” (“on your thirties”?), and if
you’re 31, you’re now proudly on “fer-
tugsaldur” (“on your forties”???). We
do this because we all hate one another
and our language is an unholy amalgam
of silence and passive-aggression.
#AIRWAVES15
DEEP ANALYSIS
A POEM BY JÓN ÖRN LOÐMFJÖRÐ
spleen
the spleen is large and has the
right high response like a mud
when you carve into the spleen
you get mud like from a road
construction that hangs from
the slipper field towards empty
beer can where I sit with a
banging empty head
OMG FREE COOL
STUFF! WOW!
Iceland Whatever CDs up for grabs
We were visited the other day by Theory
Of Whatever giant indie-label boss man
Bryan Riebeek, who was in town for
some music festival. He brought along
his latest release: a nice ol' 14-track
compilation CD, illustrated by FM Bel-
fast’s mighty Lóa and featuring a bunch
of great Icelandic music. It’s great, wow.
And guess what: you can win one for no
reason. Yup, the first few folks who drop
us a line at secretparty@grapevine.is
are getting that limited edition comp 4
Fr€€! #WOW!
(If you miss out, you can get one at
www.tow.is. They’re goddamn cheap.)