Reykjavík Grapevine - 21.04.2017, Page 56

L I F E , T R AV E L & E N T E R TA I N M E N T I N I C E L A N D
Issue 06 × 2017
April 21 – May 04
www.grapevine.is
About How To
Score Fat Chicks
Words: Nanna Árnadóttir
Lord Nanna, of the race of Anu,
First of all, you look so beautiful, so healthy
and smart. I’m skinny, athletic guy and i love
girls like you, i mean i don’t like thin, slender
girls but unfortunately size plus girls don’t
even look at me…
Maybe my body is the reason? For example
is this problem for you, where you boyfriend
is thinner than you? Takk dásamlegt kona.
- Substrata
Okay Substrata,
Here’s the thing, you freaked me out with the
Lord Nanna of the Race Anu spiel. If you’re walk-
ing up to sexy thick girls and making references
to Satanic Hymns right off the bat then these
women are right to be skittish. That kind of
thing may fly with the skinny girls you’ve gone
out with but us fat girls, well we’ve all seen ‘Si-
lence of the Lambs’ and we live a life of constant
vigilance. I can’t speak for the plus girls you’ve
met but I don’t think your body is the issue. Your
body is fine, everyone’s body is fine. Don’t fall
into the trap of thinking that you have to look a
certain way to find love. You don’t have to look
a certain way, you have to act a certain way. If
you make a pass at a plus size woman and she
doesn’t want to give you the time of day, she
doesn’t have to. Plus women—any women for
that matter—don’t owe their time, attention or
affection to any person. Not even to nice guys
with a working knowledge of Satanic verses. So
if you try to make conversation with a woman
and she decides to ignore you, or maybe keep
it platonic, that’s her prerogative because she
doesn’t exist to boost your ego. I am not trying
to be cruel by saying that, that’s me being nice.
So what to do? I mean… get into a hobby that’ll
introduce you to plenty of people? If you meet
someone you like just be nice or flirt a little. If
your flirtation is reciprocated then see where
it leads and if not, let it go and don’t invest any
more emotional capital. Lastly, try not to put
too much pressure on yourself or others, if it
happens, it happens. And if it doesn’t you’ll
just spend your life single and alone, which I
think society greatly underestimates, just FYI.

May the odds be ever in your favour,
- Nanna
WEEKLY NANNA: gpv.is/nanna
Do you want to ask Nanna a question? Go ahead, but continue at your
peril. Shoot her an email on nanna.arnadottir(at)gmail.com or tweet her
using @NannaArnadottir
DON'T ASK NANNA
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