Reykjavík Grapevine - 05.05.2017, Blaðsíða 59

57The Reykjavík Grapevine
Issue 07 — 2017
The “Traditional Made New”
Sturla Atlas accompanied by the Ice-
landic Symphony Orchestra, playing
“Heyr mína bæn”
Countries always send in shitty
polka acts “made modern” with
electric guitars or slutty outfits.
But hey, it usually gets them to the
finals, so obviously Iceland should
do the same! “Heyr mína bæn” is an
old-school Icelandic pop song that
translates as “Hear My Prayer.” Fit-
tingly, it’s also the Icelandic take
on the Italian song that won Euro-
vision in 1964—already a winner!
We’d make it more exciting by
letting downtown hip-hop boys
Sturla Atlas cover it. If you don’t
know Sturla Atlas, all you need
to know is that their most hard-
core song is about sipping wine. If
there’s anybody that could appeal
to both older folks and young kids,
it’s them. You may as well give us
the trophy now.
The “This Song Doesn’t Trans-
late Well To English But We’re
Gonna Throw It In Anyway”
“Bagel” performed by XXX Rottwei-
ler
One of the best parts of Eurovision
is when a country translates a song
into English that would have been
best left in their native tongue.
With a plethora of clever Icelan-
dic songs whose wit would make
no sense in English, why shouldn’t
Iceland have their moment in the
sun? Here’s our idea:
In 2003, Icelandic rap troupe
XXX Rottweiler put out “Beygla,”
a rap song whose hook translates
to “Your mom, your mom, your
mom, is a bagel.” In Icelandic, bey-
gla means bagel, yes, but it also
means a dent in a car, so the idea
is that your mom, according to Er-
pur from XXX Rottweiler, “is like
a rusty old bicycle.” Mean, right?
While the song is totally edgy in
Icelandic, in English it’s just: “Your
mom is a bagel.”

Here’s the idea: Erpur, Bent, and
Lúlli wear bakers’ aprons á la 2011
Eurovision stars Buranovskiye Ba-
bushki from Russia. Accompanied
by each of their mothers, they act
out the song by throwing bagels
at each other. Fuck the Panama
Papers—this would make inter-
national news. Get the champagne
ready!
So watch out Eurovision: like
the Icelandic football team, we
are going to take your contest by
surprise with a Viking clap and a
“HÚH!” Get the trophy ready… and
don’t say we didn’t warn you.
Photo: Art Bicnick
XXX Rottweiler
really like their bagels
Your mother is a bagel
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