Reykjavík Grapevine - jun 2020, Qupperneq 40

L IF E , T R AV EL & EN T ER TA INMEN T IN ICEL A ND
Issue 04 # 2020
June 19th—July 16th
www.grapevine.is
LAST WORDS
Empty Words On
A Movement, Yet
Full Of Hope
Words: Chanel Sturludóttir
Photo: Atli Freyr Steinsson
I have never felt so discriminated against, but
I have never felt so privileged.
I have never had so many things to say
to the world without being able to find the
words.
I have never felt so selfish yet I have never
felt so much compassion for people I don’t
know. The people of the race to which I be-
long, yet have never belonged.
I’ve never felt so connected to my body, my
brown skin, yet I have never felt my body so
displaced. So far away from those who look
like me, whom I feel I should be with.
However, my privilege lies in the fact that I
do not share their experiences. Their abuse.
The injustice they face. The hurt they have
experienced. Yet I feel like I have felt it all.
Racism is strange. So tangible yet so hard
to grasp. A spectrum which most view as
one-dimensional. A singular act of inten-
tional hurt across races. But racism lies much
deeper.
Our entire lives are racialised.
However, those who are the most privi-
leged of all are those who cannot say to which
race they belong.
Whiteness. A fake race which no-one can
explain. Yet it seems to define all that exists.
But what do these words mean anyway?
Do they mean anything at all?
To someone who does not recognise the
system from which they benefit.
The system which upholds their privilege.
The system which affects all who are not
white.
But who am I to speak?
My privilege is also upheld and I do not
wish to lose it. I do not wish to experience the
abuse, the brutality, the discrimination. Yet I
yearn for it so bad. As I feel that my body will
then be connected to my brothers and sisters.
But will that help? What can I do? How can
I help?
Is it money that is needed? Further educa-
tion? My words? My body?
I feel helpless and detached. I yearn for the
future—a future without racism in any shape
or form.
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