Reykjavík Grapevine - sep. 2020, Blaðsíða 38

38 The Reykjavík Grapevine
Issue 07— 2020
HORROR!SCOPES
We Get It,
Scorpio,
You Love
Halloween
What to do when the world is upside-down? Turn
to the stars, of course.
Words: Andie Sophi# Font#ine
In Horror-Scopes, the Grapevine’s
dedicated team of amateur as-
trologists give you their mystical
insights on how to live a long and
fulfilling life. Think of us as psychic
grandmas. We love you.
Aries
Your TikTok game is per-
fect, but maybe wait til
you get home to make them. Your
co-workers are getting increas-
ingly uncomfortable watching you
recording yourself silently point-
ing at invisible things in the air
Taurus We know it’s embarrass-ing that you once clogged
someone’s toilet and then tried to
cover it up by putting your poo in
their cat’s litter box, but take heart:
it’s also pretty hilarious. GeminiIt’s OK to block a fam-ily member sharing QAnon
content. NB: Applies to all signs.
Cancer
Autumn is in the air
and you know what that
means, Cancer? That’s right: time
to make a list of things you are to-
tally going to do to get the most out
of the season and then promptly
forget about it.
LeoNever. Stop. Posting. Photos. Of. Your. Cat.
Your chonky floof is adorable and
anyone annoyed by photos of them
doesn’t belong in your life.
Virgo
Have you festooned your
home with gourds, put out
the cinnamon-heavy potpourri
and bought yourself litres of apple
cider? What are you waiting for?? LibraYes, you do deserve to buy yourself a new pair
of tights. Maybe even five pairs.
And why not? You earned it. Scorpio“Woooo, it’s almost Spooky Season!!” you post on Face-
book “Time to get spoooooky!”
You share memes about how no
one can handle how much you
love Halloween. You make it a
point to mention your love of
Halloween to your friends, every
day, tickling your little pumpkin
earrings coyly. You remind your
co-workers that you, in fact, think
Halloween is the best holiday of
all, wondering why they don’t act
shocked and scandalised by this
totally innocuous opinion. Dial it
back a bit, babe.
SagittariusHey, you know, you can actually enjoy the au-
tumn. You’re not a little kid any-
more, when the approach of au-
tumn meant having to go back to
the grind of school. You grind 365
days a year at your job, now. Cheer
up!
CapricornThis is totally going to be your year, Capricorn.
Let no one tell you different.
AquariusYes, you totally should write down on a piece
of paper all the shows you intend
to marathon on your favourite
streaming sites. If not, you’re go-
ing to forget them.
Pisces Has anyone told you that you have great
taste in music? No? Well their
opinion doesn’t count. They don’t
appreciate 100 Gecs the way you
do, you supreme connoisseur of
music you.
CITY SHOT by Art Bicnick
WELL, YOU ASKED
Holy B.,
Spitting
And The
Best
Generation

Words: Valur Grettisson
What was the best ever music hap-
pening in Iceland?
The answer is simple, the “Krútt” (cute)
generation. But don’t call them that to
their face, they might spit in your face.
Just call them the indie scene. We have
brilliant bands from that generation,
like Sigur Rós, Múm, FM Belfast and of
course, our Oscar-winning musician,
Hildur Gu!nadóttir. Other generations
suck.
Is spitting in someone’s face now
akin to attempted murder?
Well, it depends. Do you have COVID-"#
and you knew about it when you spit in
another person’s face? Then the answer
would be, not really. But it’s probably a
felony. And you would be the asshole
of the week. And good luck living with
that guilt for the rest of your life. But if
it was the Krútt generation that did the
spitting, you probably had it coming.
Who was the last famous person that
you met in Downtown Reykjavík
It’s actually Helgi Björns, or Holy B as
we call him at the office. He’s a legend-
ary Icelandic musician and actor and
one of the key cultural figures in the
COVID-"# pandemic that kept bringing
live music straight to people's homes
through his hit show, Home With Hel-
gi Björns. But before that, I actually
crossed paths with Björk, but you didn't
really ask about that, now did you?
Chair up, it's gonna be fine
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