Reykjavík Grapevine - jun. 2023, Síða 39

39
WORDS Catherine Magnúsdóttir
IMAGE Art Bicnick
WHAT’S THE VISUAL ARTS
SCENE LOOKING LIKE
THESE DAYS?
What does the visual art scene look
like? What, through your eyes? How
fucking basic. We do this cool new
thing called Mental Intuitive Link-
ing – MILKing for short. You proba-
bly haven’t heard of it. Basically, we
stand in front of the art pieces with
our eyes unfocused and our arms
spread out and start vibrating at
high speeds to absorb the artist’s
intention directly through our brain-
waves and skin, and taste the colour
composition to receive the true
meaning of the piece. You wouldn’t
get it.
WHY SO MANY HORSES?
It all started when the Æsir made
a bad deal with a giant and instead
of holding their end of the bargain,
the fuckers chose not to pay their
worker and pimped out Loki for
some sexy horse related shenan-
igans. Badabing badaboom, Loki
gives birth to the eight-legged horse
Sleipnir, who becomes none other
than the steed of Oðinn. There are
a bunch of other named mythical
horses with jobs, but Sleipnir gets
the title of “Best Horse.” And while
other horses have to make do with
half the amount of legs, the Norse
and their descendents still thought
they were pretty neat and brought
them everywhere. Like hand-
bag-dogs for Vikings. Only without
the handbag. Or the dog.
HOW DO I GET A BROKEN
KEY OUT OF A LOCK?
To retrieve the key now lost to thee
You must first fulfill these quests of
three.
Find the forge of black stone glass
Past treasures old of bronze and
brass.
Slay the beast with scales like greed
Strike true and you may yet suc-
ceed.
Now stand before the wisest one
Heed their advice or be undone.
“Hark! What sorrows!” they proclaim
“This beeth stuck through all the
way”
“But venmo me ten thousand
crowns,
And my locksmith tools may have
some sway.”
Well, You Asked Inquiries of Mystery and
Misfortune
The Grapevine answers your most burning questions
Last Look IMAGE Art Bicnick
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