Reykjavík Grapevine - 11.06.2004, Síða 8

I first spoke with Sister Ruth over
the phone one Friday. I explained
that I wrote for a local newspaper
and asked if it would be alright if I
accompanied her the next day as she
ministered to the needy, homeless
or otherwise troubled and wrote an
article on it. She accepted happily.
“That would be wonderful”, she said.
“I’ve been molested and attacked
with swords before while attending
to my work... that won’t happen if
there’s a man with me”.
I paused, unable to respond for a
second. Swords? Where had she
been working? I gathered myself.
“No Sister”, I replied. “That won’t
happen”.
I walked down to Cabin Hotel at
11 o’clock on a beautiful Saturday
morning to meet Sister Ruth. As I
waited in the lobby for her to come
downstairs, I wondered why the Sis-
ters of Saint Francis had put her up
in a hotel. Shouldn’t she be staying
at one of the rectories in either Rey-
kjavík or Hafnafjörður? Or at one
of her sister convents? My thoughts
were cut short as Sister Ruth ap-
proached, a woman of advanced
middle age, dressed in “civilian”
clothing, topped with a Jesus Fish
baseball cap. Propped in her arms,
facing me, she carried a two foot tall
staue of Mary. I scratched my head.
We walked down Borgatún in
the dazzling Reykjavík summer
sunshine, the sky blue and clear.
Reykjavíkingar were out in force,
enjoying the weather. Sister Ruth
had been on the television the night
before, ensuring her instant recogni-
tion. People smiled and pointed as
we walked past. It was established
that Sister Ruth is a missionary nun,
based in London, with her home
convent near Knock in Ireland. She
said that she had been all over the
world ministering. I asked her where
she would like to begin in Reykjavík.
She said that she would like very
much to meet my wife and child.
I wondered why, but didn’t ask.
As we continued walking my eyes
kept drifting back to the statue she
carried. It looked solid and heavy.
My guilt grew, I scratched my head.
“Sister,” I said, “Let me carry that
for you”. She gave it to me. Now I
was part of the parade. Damnit... I
quickened my pace to my apartment.
The Plot to Kill Lady Di
At my house Sister Ruth held my
daughter, drank tea and chatted. She
talked briefly about her experiences
in different countries. She spoke
about working with prostitutes in
Amsterdam’s red-light district. “You
know they sit in those windows with
no clothing on, and I just sat beside
them and talked “ she said. My wife
replied that must not have been good
for business. I stifled a laugh.
It soon became obvious that Sister
Ruth had no idea of where to find
the needy in Reykjavík. I found it
odd that she should be sent out to
do her work without so much as a
connection with any Catholic chari-
ties. My wife and I myself busied
ourselves calling soup kitchens, pov-
erty assistance centers and finally the
Salvation Army, attempting to find
some unfortunates for Sister Ruth
to lead to salvation. My daughter
cooed and hooted in the nun’s lap,
trying repeatedly to grab the likeness
of Mary on the table in front of her.
Sister Ruth explained that she always
carried the statue of Our Lady be-
cause it opens up people’s hearts. She
informed us that once on a plane a
gentleman sitting next to her identi-
fied himself as a member of British
Intelligence. He went on to confess
that Princess Diana had in fact been
murdered as part of a conspirato-
rial plot between the Royal family
and MI5. I scratched my head and
cleared my throat.
Enter the Satanists
We were soon driving to Samhjálp,
a soup kitchen located downtown
on Hverfisgata. As we drove, Sister
Ruth (statue propped on her lap,
looking out the windshield) regaled
me with tales of ex-Satanists in
America confessing to her, solemnly
and with much weeping, to all man-
ner of perversion, drug abuse, even
human sacrifice. I drove faster. She
said she doubted if there was much
of that here. I agreed whole-heart-
edly. Probably very, very little. I
parked the car, we both got out. I
rang the door bell. I slammed on
the door. Samhjálp was closed. I was
getting desperate to find someone,
anyone for Sister Ruth to help... I
was becoming more and more con-
vinced that Sister Ruth was herself
desperately in need of help.
Our next stop was the Salvation
Army. I rushed the front desk and
asked in clumsy Icelandic if any of
the Army were around. He looked
at me, perplexed. I asked again,
this time in English, if any of the
salvation soldiers were around.
Behind my shoulder he saw Sister
Ruth, Mary in hand, chatting with
German backpackers trying to check
in to the hostel that the Salvation
Army runs.
Sister Ruth- Hello and where are
you two from?
German Backpacker Girl- We’re
from Leipzig, Germany.
Sister Ruth- Oh how nice! God
bless. (in a horrible German
accent) Und danke schoooone!
The backpacker looked at me for
an explanation. I had none to offer.
The gent behind the desk offered us
a seat in a waiting area and kindly
assured me he’d get the head of the
house here in a few minutes.
England Goes to the Dogs (and
the Freemasons)
We waited for a half an hour for
the soldier of salvation. Sister Ruth
detailed the suffering she experi-
ences routinely while she is back at
her London base. She is constantly
spat at, beaten up, chased, mocked
and molested, even while carrying
the likeness of Mary with her at
all times. England is going down
the tubes. There’s pornography
everywhere. The children are all
hooligans. All the women are having
abortions. “It’s all to do with the
Freemasons you know”, she says,
“they’ve become very strong in Brit-
ain in the last years…they’re trying
to stamp out Christianity, they’re
all Satanists, the Freemasons, did
you know that?” No, I replied. I did
not know that. The Salvation Army
chief shows up, in full regalia, white
shirt, white hat, white beard. He is
from Norway, has only very recently
arrived and has NO idea where
we might find some homeless or
otherwise helpless. Sister Ruth and
the Norwegian chatted away happily
for a few minutes, about what I don’t
know. I asked the desk clerk for the
address of any rehab centers, halfway
houses, anything. He gave me one. I
thanked him, collected Sister Ruth
and made a hasty exit.
The weather had turned, and I drove
slowly through the rain. Our Lady
of Victories, Sister Ruth and myself
kept our eyes peeled for the address
of the halfway house the desk clerk
gave me. At last we located it, and of
course it was empty, and seemingly
abandoned.
By now it was raining quite hard for
Iceland. Sister Ruth offered to buy
me a cup of coffee. I politely refused;
I had to be at work soon. I had best
drop her back at her hotel. On the
way, she cheerfully assured me of
how lucky I am to live in Iceland.
“They seem not to have lost their
love for Our Lady here, as they have
in so many other European coun-
tries” she said. “You know we’re liv-
ing in the End Times, Armageddon
times, but I really believe the Virgin
will spare Iceland when the atomic
holocaust finally ushers in the end.”
I said I was glad to hear it. When I
left her in the lobby of Hotel Cabin,
she gave me and my wife gifts. Mini-
atures of Mary and Christ. For my
daughter, a rosary that glows green
in the dark, to be hung over her bed.
Sister Ruth was last seen dancing
with a group of mentally handi-
capped children in the grass of the
town square, a statue of the Virgin in
her arms.
SISTER RUTH SEARCHES FOR POVERTY
by Padraig Mara
Sister Ruth was last seen dancing with a group of mentally handi-
capped children in the grass of the town square, a statue of the Virgin
in her arms.
“I really believe the Virgin will spare
Iceland when the atomic holocaust
finally ushers in the end.”
“They’re all Satanists,
the Freemasons, did you know that?”
�������
Icelandic commander in Kabul
An Icelandic commander was
put in charge of the International
airport in Kabul by NATO forces.
The airport has 900 personel, 17
of whom are Icelandic. Foreign
minister Ásgrímsson was present as
the airport was handed over to the
Icelandic commander. The previous
commander had been German, and
both countries anthems were played.
Flags distributed to children
The Independence Day Committee
has decided to issue all kindergarten
toddlers with the Icelandic flag to
commemorate Independence Day
next June 17th. Boy Scouts will be
despatched, and all in all 5.700 flags
will be distributed. The first flags
arrived at Grænuborg kindergarten
on the 7th of June.
Mayor wants to clean up city
Authorities are taking still more
interest in the city´s kindergartens.
Mayor Þórólfur Árnason announced
a drive to clean up the city on a visit
to Sæborg kindergarten, as many
visitors are expected to the capital
around Independence Day celebra-
tions. Garbage bags have been
placed in strategic locations and city
officials asked to get their staff to
be more tidy. Skólavörðustígur has
been designated as a flower street,
and flower pots have been handed
out to residents.
Palestinians held in custody
The Supreme Court confirmed a
ruling that three Palestinians who
had stolen or forged passports are to
be held in custody until the 16th of
June. The ruling says there are rea-
sonable grounds for suspicion that
the men are involved counterfeiting
official documents, breaking the
foreigner law, links to break-ins in
Denmark, and suggests a possibility
that they are part of an international
crime syndicate.
Sister Ruth and friend
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